Today will have two segments. First is a woman who has been haunted by her "secret identity" for years; her mother is a notorious serial killer. Second is a woman who was convicted 20 years ago of having her teenage lover kill her husband, Pamela Smart. She was convicted to life in prison, and Lisa Ling will be on location in prison to interview her.
Diane Downs
On May 18, 1983, Diane Downs claimed that a shaggy-haired stranger shot her three children at point-blank range as they slept in her car while she was driving late in the evening. She said he shot her in the forearm as she tried to get away; after getting away, she claimed she sped to the nearest hospital. A witness later testified that she was only driving about 10 miles per hour. Her seven year old daughter was dead, her eight year old had lost so much blood that she suffered a stroke, and her three year old son was left paralyzed.
Because her story did not add up, Diane was charged with the shooting, and her then nine-year-old daughter Christie took the stand to testify that her mother had been the shooter. Diane was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison plus 50 years. Oprah interviewed Diane over 20 years ago while in prison, and she maintained her innocence and still does to this day. Christie and Danny, the young son, were adopted by the prosecutor in the case and live private lives. During the trial, though, it was revealed that Diane was pregnant. She never identified the father, and only ten days after her guilty verdict gave birth to a girl she named Amy Elizabeth. Today, that baby, who was adopted, is 26-years-old and her name is Rebecca. She goes by Becky and is on the Oprah show to talk about her life of hiding her secret.
Diane's Daughter Becky
Becky says her life was ideal growing up, with a stay at home mom and a dad who worked a lot but took care of her. Becky always knew she was adopted, and began asking questions about her birth mother at age eight; her mother said that when she was ready Becky could read a book about her. She tricked a baby sitter at age 12 into revealing her birth mother's name, and was horrified to find who her mother was and what she had done in a book at the library. At 16, a boyfriend showed her the movie starring Farrah Fawcett based on her mother's life. That was when the reality of who her birth mother was really "sank in" and Becky went into a downward spiral, "drinking, doing drugs, sleeping around, and... trying to find love anywhere [she] could."
At 17, she became pregnant. By age 20, she was broke, homeless, and pregnant with her second child. She chose to put that son up for adoption, and so she turned to Diane, who had been forced to give her up for adoption. Now in the studio, Oprah asks why Becky started to spiral out of control when she did have wonderful parents. Becky says she was searching for something more, and that eventually she found herself. Oprah asks if Becky found this when she began corresponding with Diane, and Becky says no.
As early as the second letter, Diane began making claims that she was involved in a conspiracy theory, that she was innocent and in prison as part of a conspiracy to protect her. She told Becky that she also had been being watched her whole life. Ultimately, Becky cut off contact because she realized Diane was crazy. Feeling crazy herself after giving up her son for adoption, Becky asked her counselor if she, too, was crazy. Her counselor told her, "Crazy people don't know that they're crazy. You're dealing with life."
After the break, we see a clip of Oprah interviewing Diane Downs on her show in 1988. Just as I am thinking about how Oprah looked like Michael Jackson then, Oprah, today, jokes that she has to talk to her stylist about her hair and is thankful the 80s are over. What's disturbing was Diane Downs saying she was lonely and missed her children which was why she became pregnant. Oprah asks Becky how she sees her mother, and Becky says that Diane Downs is not nor ever has been her mother; she's her biological mother, but her adopted parents are her family. Oprah asks if they did the right thing by waiting to tell her about Diane, and Becky says yes, that it's something no child can ever understand.
Becky has tried to reach out to her siblings, but they have chosen to remain private. Oprah asks how the relationship is with Becky's adoptive parents, knowing she reached out to Diane, and Becky says it was strained at first. Her parents warned her nothing good could come from it, but she felt she had to figure it out herself. Becky says they are close again now and she is much better.
Pamela Smart
In 1990, 21-year-old New Hampshire resident Pamela Smart was said to seduce a 15-year-old boy and then had him kill her husband. Today she is in the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole, and Lisa Ling sits down with her. Lisa notes that Pam has in prison for more than 20 years, and in a few years she'll have been in prison longer than she was out of it. Lisa asks about Pam's marriage to Greg Smart, and she says they were both very young and the relationship wasn't very mature.
A year into their marriage, Pam met Billy Flynn, a student at the local high school in a self-esteem program where Pam was a volunteer. Pam says Greg had cheated on her, and she felt like it must have been her fault. She says she didn't feel good about herself, but Billy made her feel good about herself and they had a sexual relationship. Pam came home one evening to find her husband dead, having been shot in the back of the head. Billy and three of his friends plead guilty, Billy and two of the boys to second degree murder; the third friend plead guilty to conspiracy to commit murder. Billy and the boys claimed that the whole thing was Pam's idea.
The media swarmed to the tiny New Hampshire town, and Pam was "painted as this vixen who seduced this teenage boy" and had him kill her husband. Pam says that the trial pre-empted soap operas, that jurors weren't sequestered, the trial wasn't moved, and her trial was a living soap opera for people. After 11 days of testimony, Pam was found guilty thanks in large part to tapes from an alleged co-conspirator who had been secretly wired to record their conversation. Today, she still maintains the she was innocent, that she never wanted her husband murdered nor was it ever her idea that he would be. She says she has spent 20 years in prison for something she didn't do,and that the life penalty is worse than death, which would provide an easy way out.
After a break, Pam talks about how weird it is that she's never been on the internet, has never seen a Blackberry, etc, and that it's an odd experience to only know about modern technology through TV. Pam and Lisa then talk about Pam's responsibility; Pam says at first she blamed everyone else, but over time has realized her responsibility, that despite her innocence, she feels a responsibility for her role in having the relationship with Billy. She maintains that Billy is bad, in that he doesn't care and won't admit the truth. He's likely to be released on parole in a few years, and this angers her and she feels it isn't fair.
Lisa asks about Greg, and Pam says she would tell him she's sorry if she could. She says she misses him and wonders what their life could have been like if none of this had ever happened. Would she have children? Would they still be married? What would their life be like? Lisa inquires whether Pam will still be in prison 20 years from now, just as she's been there for the last 20 years, and Pam says that she hopes not but if she is she'll still be the kind, good person that she's always been. Lisa wants to know if she'll still be maintaining her innocence, and Pam says she will.
Pamela's Mother, Linda
In the studio, Oprah has Pam's mother, and Pam's mentor Eleanor, sit with her for a rare interview. Oprah inquires about what it has been like for Linda, and Linda says that we've all made mistakes and that Pam shouldn't be defined by that one mistake. Linda reiterates Pam's position, that Greg's killers will leave prison soon so they will not "man-up" and admit what really happened for fear of losing their ability to walk free. Oprah asks if Pam should have a new trial, and Linda says she should but that will probably never happen. Oprah talks about being shocked that Pam's trial wasn't sequestered, and Linda says she feels that Pam's constitutional right to a fair trial was taken from her as a result.
Linda talks about how hard it is to celebrate anything, having Christmas gifts for Pam that are 20 years old. She's proud that Pam has done so much while in prison, earning two master's degrees and helping other female inmates. She's still frustrated at how unfair it is that the killers were allowed to have their cold, first-degree murder charge dropped to second-degree as part of their plea bargain but, as she says, with the caveat that they keep their mouths shut after that. Linda also says she was shocked, that she never knew not only of Pam's adultery with Billy but neither did she know of Greg's adultery. They seemed like such a happy, bubbly couple and she never saw any of this coming.
Oprah asks Dr. Eleanor, Pam's academic mentor, about Pam's accomplishments in prison. Dr. Eleanor says that Pam's coping mechanism is helping other people. She was surprised that Pam wanted to attain academic gains, because she had no future and yet she wanted to help people; it was for that reason that she agreed to help Pam, guilty or not. Oprah asks what she thinks now, and Dr. Eleanor maintains that Pam absolutely is innocent and did not have anything to do with Greg's murder.
Linda speaks about something Pam mentioned, that the four teens talked about joking with one another in the car after the murder, laughing about what they had done. She says she has letters in which the teens wrote one another and mocked the jurors, asking if they did a good enough job crying on the stand while giving testimony. Dr. Eleanor says that she feels that Pam suffered judgment due to the public being so morally outraged at the relationship Pam had with a teenage boy that they lost sight of the crime. She feels Pam was found guilty of the sin and not the crime, and that the focus needs to be on the crime, not Pam's sexual relationship with Billy.
A Juror Speaks Out
Alec Beckett, a juror fresh out of college in Pam's trial, says he felt that Pam received a very fair trial. He says he took very seriously his role, that he sequestered himself, not talking to anyone nor watching the news. Alec says that it broke his heart to see how Pam's mother feels, like her daughter did not receive a fair trial. He says that in his experience, everyone took the trial very seriously and there was no funny business among the jurors.
He says the testimony of the boys was hard to take seriously because he and the jurors were so disgusted by what they had done, but that the tapes had been the damning evidence that convinced them that Pamela was guilty. He says they never knew about the sentence, that if the jurors had known that Pamela would get life without parole, it might have made it harder but they still would have delivered the same verdict.
Statement from Greg's Family
Oprah's producers reached out to Greg's family, and his brother Dean sent in a statement in which he makes clear that his family feels that Pam is guilty. As far as the boys, now men nearly 40 years old, being free in a few years Dean says they chose to admit guilt. Had Pam admitted her guilt then she might be free soon also.
Oprah thanks Alec for his candor and we're out.
Gospel Filter Review
There are some obvious things in here to just point out: a mother shooting, paralyzing, seriously wounding and even murdering, her children as it seems that Diane Downs did, is tragic, horrific, and just sickening, not to mention a sinful act hated by God. Additionally, whether Pamela Smart was part of the conspiracy or not, Greg Smart's death is equally horrifying and terrible. The act of shooting an innocent man (innocent in that he had done nothing in particular to any of his murderers) at point blank range in the back of his head as he likely begged for his life is just atrocious and despicably evil. Pamela's adultery, be the sexual partner a 15-year-old boy or a full grown man, and the alleged adultery of her husband is horrific and wrong. The good news is that everyone can be redeemed, forgiven and set free from the guilt that surely eats at each person. Jesus' blood is for everyone,and there is nothing so hideously shameful that God can't forgive it. To be sure, the painful consequences of people's actions may never relinquish, but the power of the enemy to burden sinners with shame for their sin is vanquished when Jesus forgives and cleanses someone who is humble and repentant.
One big thing that stuck out to me and made me sad was the statements made by both Becky and Pam about, essentially, feeling horrible about themselves and where they turned. For Becky, it was finding out who her biological mother was and what she had done that allowed her to feel lost and sickened at where she came from, as though that which plagued Diana might have been passed down in her DNA, and so she turned to escaping through substance abuse and giving her body away to many boys who would allow her to feel loved for a little while. For Pamela, is was the sense of guilt in her husband's choice to commit adultery that caused her to feel like she must have caused it or deserved it somehow, and so feeling so horrible about herself made someone who would make her feel loved so attractive to her, despite that someone being a 15-year-old boy.
The truth is, both of these women were created by God. He knit them together in their mother's womb; for Becky, it matters not that Diane is her biological mother because her Creator Father is good, without a hint of evil, and she was created in His image. For Pam, despite her husband's betrayal, she has a Father who adores her and who gives Himself to her like a husband, loving her and making her whole. For both women, Jesus in their times of desperate need was surely beckoning to them, trying to show them that He is a better way. God loved them both so much that He came to earth and died for them so that He could be where they find their identity, their worth, their source of love that will never fail them.
My heart aches for both of these women even now, as they each seek to find their identity in cleaned up lives. To be sure, for Becky to no longer be homeless and not in a position where she feels her only option is to give up a child for adoption is a good thing. I'm grateful that it seemed she's been able to piece more of her life together since then. But the ache is still very evident, the haunting notion that her identity is inextricably linked to Diane no matter what she does still whispered in things she says. Additionally, the pain of giving her son up for adoption nearly six years ago still seemed fresh and the ache for her to know the freedom in receiving Christ's forgiveness for all of her sin (not that giving him up was sin, but the choices that led to her being in such a desperate place were sinful, as the show made it seem) was so palpable for me that I can't imagine how desperately God yearns for her to find her worth and identity in relationship with Him through receiving Christ's gift of salvation.
For Pam, kudos to her for choosing to help other women and not just spend her life feeling sorry for herself. Guilty or not (and it seems so hard to tell; only God, Pam, and the four conspirators know who is telling the truth and who is lying) she could choose to just get by and let herself waste away. I'm not condemning her for wanting to help people. However, Dr. Eleanor's comment that Pam's coping mechanism is to help people just made me feel so empty and sad for her. She'll never find freedom that way, even if her guilt only extends to the adultery and not Greg's murder. Doing stuff never fulfills us, especially not when it's driven by a need to overcome something horrible we've done. Only in Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection will we find freedom from our sin and the forgiveness that frees us to serve others out genuine love that flows from the joy we have in relationship with our Father. Then, serving others does give us joy because we're not tied to the various things that suck the life out of us--need for their approval, need for things to go well so we'll feel fulfilled, need for recognition, etc.
My heart for these women, and anyone who is reading this, is in line with God's heart, and that is that He wants to know them. He wants them to find their current identity and worth completely in Him. He wants to cleanse them of sin. He wants to show them joy and freedom in belonging to a Father God who loves them and has only good for them. I pray that this will come to fruition in their lives.
Up Monday
The Worst Day of Their Lives and the Miraculous Twist of Fate
Because her story did not add up, Diane was charged with the shooting, and her then nine-year-old daughter Christie took the stand to testify that her mother had been the shooter. Diane was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison plus 50 years. Oprah interviewed Diane over 20 years ago while in prison, and she maintained her innocence and still does to this day. Christie and Danny, the young son, were adopted by the prosecutor in the case and live private lives. During the trial, though, it was revealed that Diane was pregnant. She never identified the father, and only ten days after her guilty verdict gave birth to a girl she named Amy Elizabeth. Today, that baby, who was adopted, is 26-years-old and her name is Rebecca. She goes by Becky and is on the Oprah show to talk about her life of hiding her secret.
Diane's Daughter Becky
Becky says her life was ideal growing up, with a stay at home mom and a dad who worked a lot but took care of her. Becky always knew she was adopted, and began asking questions about her birth mother at age eight; her mother said that when she was ready Becky could read a book about her. She tricked a baby sitter at age 12 into revealing her birth mother's name, and was horrified to find who her mother was and what she had done in a book at the library. At 16, a boyfriend showed her the movie starring Farrah Fawcett based on her mother's life. That was when the reality of who her birth mother was really "sank in" and Becky went into a downward spiral, "drinking, doing drugs, sleeping around, and... trying to find love anywhere [she] could."
At 17, she became pregnant. By age 20, she was broke, homeless, and pregnant with her second child. She chose to put that son up for adoption, and so she turned to Diane, who had been forced to give her up for adoption. Now in the studio, Oprah asks why Becky started to spiral out of control when she did have wonderful parents. Becky says she was searching for something more, and that eventually she found herself. Oprah asks if Becky found this when she began corresponding with Diane, and Becky says no.
As early as the second letter, Diane began making claims that she was involved in a conspiracy theory, that she was innocent and in prison as part of a conspiracy to protect her. She told Becky that she also had been being watched her whole life. Ultimately, Becky cut off contact because she realized Diane was crazy. Feeling crazy herself after giving up her son for adoption, Becky asked her counselor if she, too, was crazy. Her counselor told her, "Crazy people don't know that they're crazy. You're dealing with life."
After the break, we see a clip of Oprah interviewing Diane Downs on her show in 1988. Just as I am thinking about how Oprah looked like Michael Jackson then, Oprah, today, jokes that she has to talk to her stylist about her hair and is thankful the 80s are over. What's disturbing was Diane Downs saying she was lonely and missed her children which was why she became pregnant. Oprah asks Becky how she sees her mother, and Becky says that Diane Downs is not nor ever has been her mother; she's her biological mother, but her adopted parents are her family. Oprah asks if they did the right thing by waiting to tell her about Diane, and Becky says yes, that it's something no child can ever understand.
Becky has tried to reach out to her siblings, but they have chosen to remain private. Oprah asks how the relationship is with Becky's adoptive parents, knowing she reached out to Diane, and Becky says it was strained at first. Her parents warned her nothing good could come from it, but she felt she had to figure it out herself. Becky says they are close again now and she is much better.
Pamela Smart
In 1990, 21-year-old New Hampshire resident Pamela Smart was said to seduce a 15-year-old boy and then had him kill her husband. Today she is in the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole, and Lisa Ling sits down with her. Lisa notes that Pam has in prison for more than 20 years, and in a few years she'll have been in prison longer than she was out of it. Lisa asks about Pam's marriage to Greg Smart, and she says they were both very young and the relationship wasn't very mature.
A year into their marriage, Pam met Billy Flynn, a student at the local high school in a self-esteem program where Pam was a volunteer. Pam says Greg had cheated on her, and she felt like it must have been her fault. She says she didn't feel good about herself, but Billy made her feel good about herself and they had a sexual relationship. Pam came home one evening to find her husband dead, having been shot in the back of the head. Billy and three of his friends plead guilty, Billy and two of the boys to second degree murder; the third friend plead guilty to conspiracy to commit murder. Billy and the boys claimed that the whole thing was Pam's idea.
The media swarmed to the tiny New Hampshire town, and Pam was "painted as this vixen who seduced this teenage boy" and had him kill her husband. Pam says that the trial pre-empted soap operas, that jurors weren't sequestered, the trial wasn't moved, and her trial was a living soap opera for people. After 11 days of testimony, Pam was found guilty thanks in large part to tapes from an alleged co-conspirator who had been secretly wired to record their conversation. Today, she still maintains the she was innocent, that she never wanted her husband murdered nor was it ever her idea that he would be. She says she has spent 20 years in prison for something she didn't do,and that the life penalty is worse than death, which would provide an easy way out.
After a break, Pam talks about how weird it is that she's never been on the internet, has never seen a Blackberry, etc, and that it's an odd experience to only know about modern technology through TV. Pam and Lisa then talk about Pam's responsibility; Pam says at first she blamed everyone else, but over time has realized her responsibility, that despite her innocence, she feels a responsibility for her role in having the relationship with Billy. She maintains that Billy is bad, in that he doesn't care and won't admit the truth. He's likely to be released on parole in a few years, and this angers her and she feels it isn't fair.
Lisa asks about Greg, and Pam says she would tell him she's sorry if she could. She says she misses him and wonders what their life could have been like if none of this had ever happened. Would she have children? Would they still be married? What would their life be like? Lisa inquires whether Pam will still be in prison 20 years from now, just as she's been there for the last 20 years, and Pam says that she hopes not but if she is she'll still be the kind, good person that she's always been. Lisa wants to know if she'll still be maintaining her innocence, and Pam says she will.
Pamela's Mother, Linda
In the studio, Oprah has Pam's mother, and Pam's mentor Eleanor, sit with her for a rare interview. Oprah inquires about what it has been like for Linda, and Linda says that we've all made mistakes and that Pam shouldn't be defined by that one mistake. Linda reiterates Pam's position, that Greg's killers will leave prison soon so they will not "man-up" and admit what really happened for fear of losing their ability to walk free. Oprah asks if Pam should have a new trial, and Linda says she should but that will probably never happen. Oprah talks about being shocked that Pam's trial wasn't sequestered, and Linda says she feels that Pam's constitutional right to a fair trial was taken from her as a result.
Linda talks about how hard it is to celebrate anything, having Christmas gifts for Pam that are 20 years old. She's proud that Pam has done so much while in prison, earning two master's degrees and helping other female inmates. She's still frustrated at how unfair it is that the killers were allowed to have their cold, first-degree murder charge dropped to second-degree as part of their plea bargain but, as she says, with the caveat that they keep their mouths shut after that. Linda also says she was shocked, that she never knew not only of Pam's adultery with Billy but neither did she know of Greg's adultery. They seemed like such a happy, bubbly couple and she never saw any of this coming.
Oprah asks Dr. Eleanor, Pam's academic mentor, about Pam's accomplishments in prison. Dr. Eleanor says that Pam's coping mechanism is helping other people. She was surprised that Pam wanted to attain academic gains, because she had no future and yet she wanted to help people; it was for that reason that she agreed to help Pam, guilty or not. Oprah asks what she thinks now, and Dr. Eleanor maintains that Pam absolutely is innocent and did not have anything to do with Greg's murder.
Linda speaks about something Pam mentioned, that the four teens talked about joking with one another in the car after the murder, laughing about what they had done. She says she has letters in which the teens wrote one another and mocked the jurors, asking if they did a good enough job crying on the stand while giving testimony. Dr. Eleanor says that she feels that Pam suffered judgment due to the public being so morally outraged at the relationship Pam had with a teenage boy that they lost sight of the crime. She feels Pam was found guilty of the sin and not the crime, and that the focus needs to be on the crime, not Pam's sexual relationship with Billy.
A Juror Speaks Out
Alec Beckett, a juror fresh out of college in Pam's trial, says he felt that Pam received a very fair trial. He says he took very seriously his role, that he sequestered himself, not talking to anyone nor watching the news. Alec says that it broke his heart to see how Pam's mother feels, like her daughter did not receive a fair trial. He says that in his experience, everyone took the trial very seriously and there was no funny business among the jurors.
He says the testimony of the boys was hard to take seriously because he and the jurors were so disgusted by what they had done, but that the tapes had been the damning evidence that convinced them that Pamela was guilty. He says they never knew about the sentence, that if the jurors had known that Pamela would get life without parole, it might have made it harder but they still would have delivered the same verdict.
Statement from Greg's Family
Oprah's producers reached out to Greg's family, and his brother Dean sent in a statement in which he makes clear that his family feels that Pam is guilty. As far as the boys, now men nearly 40 years old, being free in a few years Dean says they chose to admit guilt. Had Pam admitted her guilt then she might be free soon also.
Oprah thanks Alec for his candor and we're out.
Gospel Filter Review
There are some obvious things in here to just point out: a mother shooting, paralyzing, seriously wounding and even murdering, her children as it seems that Diane Downs did, is tragic, horrific, and just sickening, not to mention a sinful act hated by God. Additionally, whether Pamela Smart was part of the conspiracy or not, Greg Smart's death is equally horrifying and terrible. The act of shooting an innocent man (innocent in that he had done nothing in particular to any of his murderers) at point blank range in the back of his head as he likely begged for his life is just atrocious and despicably evil. Pamela's adultery, be the sexual partner a 15-year-old boy or a full grown man, and the alleged adultery of her husband is horrific and wrong. The good news is that everyone can be redeemed, forgiven and set free from the guilt that surely eats at each person. Jesus' blood is for everyone,and there is nothing so hideously shameful that God can't forgive it. To be sure, the painful consequences of people's actions may never relinquish, but the power of the enemy to burden sinners with shame for their sin is vanquished when Jesus forgives and cleanses someone who is humble and repentant.
One big thing that stuck out to me and made me sad was the statements made by both Becky and Pam about, essentially, feeling horrible about themselves and where they turned. For Becky, it was finding out who her biological mother was and what she had done that allowed her to feel lost and sickened at where she came from, as though that which plagued Diana might have been passed down in her DNA, and so she turned to escaping through substance abuse and giving her body away to many boys who would allow her to feel loved for a little while. For Pamela, is was the sense of guilt in her husband's choice to commit adultery that caused her to feel like she must have caused it or deserved it somehow, and so feeling so horrible about herself made someone who would make her feel loved so attractive to her, despite that someone being a 15-year-old boy.
The truth is, both of these women were created by God. He knit them together in their mother's womb; for Becky, it matters not that Diane is her biological mother because her Creator Father is good, without a hint of evil, and she was created in His image. For Pam, despite her husband's betrayal, she has a Father who adores her and who gives Himself to her like a husband, loving her and making her whole. For both women, Jesus in their times of desperate need was surely beckoning to them, trying to show them that He is a better way. God loved them both so much that He came to earth and died for them so that He could be where they find their identity, their worth, their source of love that will never fail them.
My heart aches for both of these women even now, as they each seek to find their identity in cleaned up lives. To be sure, for Becky to no longer be homeless and not in a position where she feels her only option is to give up a child for adoption is a good thing. I'm grateful that it seemed she's been able to piece more of her life together since then. But the ache is still very evident, the haunting notion that her identity is inextricably linked to Diane no matter what she does still whispered in things she says. Additionally, the pain of giving her son up for adoption nearly six years ago still seemed fresh and the ache for her to know the freedom in receiving Christ's forgiveness for all of her sin (not that giving him up was sin, but the choices that led to her being in such a desperate place were sinful, as the show made it seem) was so palpable for me that I can't imagine how desperately God yearns for her to find her worth and identity in relationship with Him through receiving Christ's gift of salvation.
For Pam, kudos to her for choosing to help other women and not just spend her life feeling sorry for herself. Guilty or not (and it seems so hard to tell; only God, Pam, and the four conspirators know who is telling the truth and who is lying) she could choose to just get by and let herself waste away. I'm not condemning her for wanting to help people. However, Dr. Eleanor's comment that Pam's coping mechanism is to help people just made me feel so empty and sad for her. She'll never find freedom that way, even if her guilt only extends to the adultery and not Greg's murder. Doing stuff never fulfills us, especially not when it's driven by a need to overcome something horrible we've done. Only in Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection will we find freedom from our sin and the forgiveness that frees us to serve others out genuine love that flows from the joy we have in relationship with our Father. Then, serving others does give us joy because we're not tied to the various things that suck the life out of us--need for their approval, need for things to go well so we'll feel fulfilled, need for recognition, etc.
My heart for these women, and anyone who is reading this, is in line with God's heart, and that is that He wants to know them. He wants them to find their current identity and worth completely in Him. He wants to cleanse them of sin. He wants to show them joy and freedom in belonging to a Father God who loves them and has only good for them. I pray that this will come to fruition in their lives.
Up Monday
The Worst Day of Their Lives and the Miraculous Twist of Fate
I don't watch Oprah because of her world view but your blog caught my eye and I think you are doing a very good job. So I have caught a little bit of a couple of episodes. The Pamela Smart part and some of the Worst Day episode. There was something that bothered me but I decided to let it simmer to see if it would go away on it's on. It didn't. Oprah seemed to be presenting the Smart case as if there was some kind of injustice. She had the juror on and the juror confirmed that it was the tapes that ultimately convicted her. Yet Oprah played only a little piece that still left things open to interpretation. I'm old enough to remember the case and hearing the tapes. The tapes left no doubt. I think a big thing to keep in mind when viewing Oprah is what is Oprah's agenda in presenting things. While looking for links to transcripts of the tapes I noticed a strong push by the media to present her as a nice person that has been wrongly convicted. It doesn't change your biblical filter or application except that I wish you would guard your own heart closer. Do not assume that Oprah is presenting things in a truthful manner. She is a person living in darkness putting things out there as truth.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoy the blog! It's a blessing to know that it's reaching people. I had never watched her, other than an episode here and there when I was a teenager, before this blog. To be honest, I hated her.
ReplyDeleteThrough doing this blog God has convicted me that while her sin against him is egregious, and she leads people away from Him while tacking the name "Jesus" onto much of her message, she is also a daughter of His. He made her, He loves her, and His heart for her until the day she dies is that she would know Jesus and repent. I no longer hate her, but now pray for her and increasingly have this same desire for her.
I agree with you that her message is one led by darkness. The "god" she worships is Satan, and her view is always going to be skewed. It's fair to question if I'm allowing her to lead me astray, but I can honestly tell you I don't feel she is. I tried to represent her tone in an unbiased fashion--yes, she thinks Smart is innocent based on how she represented the facts.
That said, I hope it was clear that I don't agree with her, in that I don't know if Smart was innocent or not, and my review was based not on a presumption of Smart's innocence nor guilt, but on who Jesus is and what He desires for her.
Thank you for you caution and I hope that you continue reading!