Episode 26: The 16-Year-Old Boy Who Killed His Molester

Today is going to be heavy; the first segment will be Oprah interviewing a boy who murdered the man who molested him, and the second half will be her interviewing a mother who murdered her son's accused rapist. She'll also sit down with the son the mother was trying to protect and the sister, as Oprah's voice over says, "left behind."

Daniel Kovarbasich
We learn that Daniel was released from jail just to do this interview, and he's in the studio with Oprah. Daniel serving in jail for stabbing to death a family friend who he says sexually abused him. The judge in Cleveland, OH, where the case took place, is under heavy criticism for allowing Daniel out to do the Oprah show. However, Judge James Burge says he chose to allow Daniel to do this first and only interview for this reason:

If we can prevent one more case of abuse and prevent another horrible death, it would be a public service announcement worth making.

On January 22, 2010, it seemed like an average day, other than Daniel asking his dad, Terry, if he could just stay home from school. Terry said no, and dropped him off at the home of Duane Hurley, a 55-year-old bachelor and family friend who would drop Daniel off at school. An hour later, Terry received a frantic call from Daniel begging to be picked up because something horrible had happened. Daniel said Duane had attacked him, and Terry found Duane dead at the top of the stairs; he had been stabbed 55 times. Father and son drove in a panic to where Donna, Daniel's mother, worked. That is where the told his mother he killed a man.

Daniel had told his parents Duane attacked him and he acted in self-defense; however, the real story began when Daniel was 12-years-old, when Duane introduced himself to Daniel when Daniel was at the school playground with friends. Over about a year, Duane seemed totally normal and became part of the family. Terry says that for the first year, anytime Daniel would go to Duane's house, his parents would go, too. He seemed, as Daniel says, "like a legit dude", and Terry says they, "let him in." But then, after about a year, when Daniel was only 13, things began to turn. Duane would do shady things like open the door when Daniel was peeing and look at Daniel's penis, or use the restroom himself with the door open.

Then it became deeply disturbing, with Duane allowing Daniel, who was too young to drive, to drive one of his Dodge Stratus if Daniel would show Duane his penis. Then Duane began touching Daniel's genitals. When Daniel wanted to drive the Corvette, so Duane coerced him into having anal sex as payment. This continued and Daniel, who was interested in girls, wanted it to stop but the abuse continued. One night, two weeks before the murder, Daniel fell asleep on Duane's couch, and Duane anally raped him. Daniel pretended like he didn't notice, but says he was beginning to be bitter and was beginning to hate.

Daniel confessed that he hit Duane on the head with a pickle jar and then stabbed him 55 times. He was found guilty and of voluntary manslaughter and aggravated assault, and sentenced to 5 years probation. He must stay in jail until a therapy based program can be found for him. Daniel was deeply ashamed of what he called a "sexual relationship" with Duane, and Terry says that Daniel was willing to serve life in prison if he could not have to tell about what transpired between him and Duane.

Oprah asks Daniel if he knew he was being molested, and he says that he knows now that he had been but at the time he didn't. Oprah says that Duane was "grooming" Daniel and his parents to trust him. Oprah says that if a child molester is good at his job, then his number one goal is to make the child feel that s/he is a part of the  abuse so that s/he won't tell.

Oprah asks why Daniel kept going back after the abuse started, and he says that he felt like it was his fault. Duane would use against him the fact that Daniel had showed him his genitals initially, and would taunt him with what his parents would think of Daniel doing that. Daniel said he felt like he had to be there, and he was afraid that if he didn't keep going back then Duane would tell his parents.

Daniel describes the morning that he killed Duane, that Duane wanted to have sex and Daniel was trying to avoid it and something just snapped. He says he didn't know how many times he stabbed Duane, just that at some point he stopped and Duane was dead. He tells Oprah he feels remorse for killing a man because he knows he murdered someone and that was wrong, but that he also feels relieved because he knew it was never going to stop and now it's over.

After a break, we hear from Terry and Donna and meet Daniel's older brother, Greg. Donna explains that they were very cautious, even looking to see if Duane was a registered sex offender when he first introduced himself to Daniel. He also lied and said that he was a counselor who worked with young children (he was actually a janitor), which made him seem safe. Terry says something haunting about how well Duane inserted himself into their lives. He says, and I'm quoting loosely, "If this had gone the other way, and my son had went missing, then we'd be standing right next to him with him helping us to look for our son and we would never suspect a thing [that it was him]. That's now much we trusted him." Both parents feel like they let their son down, like somehow they should have known.

Oprah asks Daniel what he would say to other kids in his situation. He says he would tell them that it's not their fault, no one will blame them, and that they need to "man up" and stand up and speak out. Terry says that if there's a person who is giving you things that your parents don't want you to have, an adult who feeds into the idea that your parents suck, there is something not right about the situation and you need to run.

The Nesler Family
In 1993, 6-year-old Willy Nesler accused a man named Daniel Driver, a dish washer at a church camp, of molesting him. Four other boys came forward, and it was found that years earlier Driver had been convicted of molesting other boys but he was only given probation. Willy's mother, Ellie, was terrified that Driver would get away with it again, so she walked into a packed courtroom and shot Driver five times in the head, killing him. She was convicted of voluntary manslaughter and sentenced to 10 years in prison.

She was on the Oprah show from prison, via satellite, in 1995. She said she was sorry she killed someone, but she wishes she hadn't had to, but the courts couldn't be trusted. We see her also saying that her son and the four other 6-year-old boys were being asked questions while on the stand during the trials such as "How many times did he sodomize you and did you like it?" She was outraged that the boys were being asked the latter half of the question, and Willy was so scared to testify that he was vomiting, because Driver had threatened to kill him. She says the boys were being raped again while on the stand.

Ellie was released from prison in 1997, and we see a clip from them, where she explains that her son was troubled and spent a lot of time in boot camps. She warns parents that would ever consider doing what she did that her son paid a higher price due to her actions that went beyond his abuse. We learn that she was later sentenced to 6 years in prison for selling meth; meanwhile, Willy's life spiraled out of control. In 2004, at age 23, he stomped a man to death in an act of rage and is serving a 28 year prison sentence. Ellie was released from prison in 2006 but was unable to visit her son because she was in the final stages of a long battle with breast cancer. She died at 56-years-old in December of 2008.

Now, Rebecca, the younger sister, is 25 and in the studio with Oprah, who tells her immediately that no one won in this situation. Rebecca explains that Willy had been molested (raped) for one year, but then Daniel Driver had stalked Willy, trying to kidnap him, tormenting him, for an additional four years. This was why Ellie felt so frustrated and like nothing could be done by the judicial system. Oprah asks if Rebecca thinks that Willy would be in prison had their mother not shot Driver, and Rebecca says he would not. He said he was over the molestation but that what ripped him apart was that he lost his mother and he was separated from his sister (Willy was sent to live with an aunt, and Rebecca was sent to live with their grandmother).

We see a clip of Rebecca and an NBC legal analyst going to visit Willy in prison. Cameras weren't allowed inside, but we find out that Willy is still very much broken. Dan found him very introspective, impressed that Willy wasn't blaming the system, or saying he was innocent, or that he was a victim. He reiterated that by age 12, the molestation was a scar but hardly a presence; but again, that what broke him was losing his mother and sister. Interestingly, though, he didn't want to talk about the molestation, but that what bothered him was that people, after his mother put his abuse on a national stage due to her actions, would point at him as the boy who was molested, knowing what had happened to him.

The last bit makes me sad, because Rebecca speaks of Willy's most recent letter, in which he says that when he needs strength, he wears his sister as his armor, remembering what they had as kids before losing their mom and being separated.

Gospel Filter Review
There are so many directions this GFR could go. The themes that stand out to me are how the Lord Jesus sees children; with regards to sexual abuse, the role of parents, and murder and forgiveness.

Children & Sexual Abuse
It sickens and saddens me that this happened to both Daniel and Willy, plus only the Lord knows how many other little boys the two men harmed, because it's just so wrong. It angers the heart of God. Jesus Himself spoke very clearly about children and their relative innocence (and do remember that Daniel was only 12 and 13 when Hurley slithered his way into gaining Daniel's trust and then twisting the truth to blame Daniel for the abuse that began); here is what Jesus said.


At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.


“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."


Matthew 18:1-6

First, I said relative innocence because the Bible teaches we are sinful from birth (Psalm 51:5) and that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Children are sinful and have wicked and deceitful hearts just as much as adults do. However, they aren't adults and aren't fully capable of making informed decisions in light of the consequences the way an adult is.

As an aside, since it's bound to come up in some people's minds, the Bible does teach that young children and babies, including miscarried babies, are welcomed into heaven with the Lord. This site lays it out pretty clearly, so I can refer you to it. Additionally, we see in Luke 1 that the Holy Spirit was already present with John the Baptizer while he was still in utero, and that he leapt in the womb when Mary, pregnant with Jesus, was in his mother Elizabeth's presence. So cool that the Holy Spirit isn't bound by rules like "age of accountability" that humans come up with!

With regards to sexuality, children are innocent. When an adult preys on this innocence, God is deeply angered, and when an adult mars God's good gift of sexuality by harming a child God's wrath is fierce. I do not envy the eternal torment the two abusive men are suffering if they did not repent and receive Jesus' salvation, and no signs indicate that either did. God knows their hearts and their eternity, and it's not our job to figure out where they are; what does matter is that the eternal wrath poured out on one who harms a young child is heavy and fierce.

Parents' Role in Educating Children
As I've written about before, there is a profoundly dark and demonic spiritual aspect to sexual abuse. It is not a thing to be taken lightly and something that Christian parents must be diligent about. It's heartbreaking that Terry and Donna sought so vigilantly to protect their son and he was still vulnerable. The first step for parents in protecting their children is to battle for them in prayer. This isn't a fearful prayer, running scared; rather, it's asking God for wisdom in parenting (He delights in generously giving Himself through wisdom!), for wisdom for your children, that He'll expose darkness in the hearts of anyone you may trust that is not trustworthy, and that he'll protect your children as their Father and shepherd. Again: do battle in prayer for your children. The spiritual war is real; Jesus is fighting for you and is calling you to join Him.

Next, parents must put in safeguards for their children, being highly, highly careful with whom they will leave their children unsupervised. Secondly, a growing and tragic trend is child-on-child sexual abuse. Most often, a child is sexually abused by an adult (or an older child who was abused by an adult) and then that child acts out what they were taught with other children who are their peers or possibly much younger. It's a horrible tactic of the enemy, again preying on young children with limited capability to understand. Parents need to be careful about children at play, keeping doors open and requesting that the children are easily in view at all times so that there is not the opportunity for things to happen in secret.

Finally (though this list is not exhaustive), children must be spoken with from a young age about the light and darkness, and how to consistently keep things in the light with their parents. Anything that is told to a child, be it by an adult or another child, that is meant to be kept in darkness (in secret) is a warning flag to them to quickly come tell the parents and be brought into the light. Parents need to talk about sex with their children from a young age, not one awkward conversation at age 12, but an ongoing dialog about not just predators, but their own bodies and what is happening with them, why we should be modest and we don't show other children the parts of our body that our clothes cover up (and not just to the other sex--much child-on-child sexual abuse happens with the same sex, especially with little girls), etc. Parents are a child's first line of defense against the world and its lies and perversions about sex, and one conversation will not well equip them with God's truth about their sexuality. Parents need to be diligent, start early, and get over the awkwardness and start late if they already are behind.

It's fairly long, but this is a GREAT resource for parents in protecting their children. Listen to it while you clean, while you drive, whatever. Make time to listen to this and pray about how God would have you rely on Him to lead your children well.

Murder & Forgiveness
God's word makes it clear that vengeance is His. It's not up to us to require payment of people for their sins, because God is always ultimately and primarily the one people sin against (Psalm 51:4). In the case of Daniel, it's hard to decipher, since he describes a psychological break in which he just snapped and needed the abuse to stop. God knows Daniel's heart and is more than willing to walk through the implications of Daniel's heart, including his actions and consequences, with him if Daniel receives salvation in Christ. Jesus' blood will cleanse not only the feelings of shame and guilt, the lie that it was his fault, the places where his own selfish motives (to drive the cars or get money from Duane) were a factor in the abuse, all of it. Jesus' blood cleanses Daniel of the harm done to him, frees him to forgive Duane for sinning against him so egregiously, to entrust God to either require payment for sin from Duane in eternity or to know that Jesus paid the price if Duane belong to Jesus (again, there's no indication that he did, to be very clear).

In the case of Ellie, who is already wherever her eternity is to be spent, she was wrong to murder Daniel Driver. I understand it, as I think most all of us can. Driver was an evil, despicable man. Regularly raping tiny young boys, at least 5 but likely countless more, is something that the wrath of God will punish for eternity. All sin is horrible, but God particularly hates sin against children, as covered earlier. But vengeance and wrath belongs to the Lord, and we see that Ellie's sinful choice to murder Driver brought the consequences of ripping apart her children physically and emotionally. She was culpable for the harm she brought to her family, and it's sad that even when she was released from prison she made the choice to sell meth and once again tear apart her family. Again, God knows whether Ellie is spending eternity suffering for her sin or whether Jesus took God's wrath on the cross, but ultimately Ellie's choice was selfish and wrong. The circumstances weren't fair, but her choice did not protect her son.

These were heavy, tragic stories. Wednesday's episode with Tyler Perry will be him recounting his childhood abuse, so this will likely be a heavy week. Please pray for me to keep seeking Jesus and share only His truth in the midst of such emotionally exhausting topics.

Up Tomorrow
Susan Boyle, Jackie Evancho, Debby Boone - The Next Big Thing