Episode 35 - Oprah and Gayle's Big Yosemite Camping Adventure: Part 1

Today's episode is about a road trip that Oprah and her bestie, Gayle, took to Yosemite this summer. We know that I am a long winded lady, and that brevity is not my strength. However, I'm going to try SO SO SO hard to keep this recap short and sweet... at least, considering the author :)

Getting Back to Nature
Oprah says a ranger, Shelton Johnson, who just so happened to be African American told her that not enough African Americans enjoy the nation's parks. He wrote Oprah to tell her that only about 1% of the 280 million tourists that visit the national parks each year are African American. We learn later that he meets people from Germany, even Africa, but no African American families.

So Oprah and Gayle are going camping. They go to REI and stock up. This is where I am reminded about how separate Oprah is from normal people--normal people can't afford to just walk into REI and spend a thousand dollars ($1,020.09, to be exact) to go camping for a week; maybe the show paid for it, but still. They hitch up their pop-up camper to their Chevy Tahoe and hit the road.

Tasting God
After squabbling about the music, how slow Gayle drives, etc, the women arrive at Yosemite to surprise Shelton. He takes them to see The Grizzly Giant, a famous giant sequoia; Oprah tells us her favorite things on earth are trees and sequoias are her favorite. Seeing that tree was like, she says, getting a little taste of god.

Later, Oprah and Gayle arrive at Tunnel View. That's when I feel like it's a taste of God. Not the way Oprah means it, probably, since she holds the view that god is in everything. But to see God's creation, knowing that He just spoke and then things like El Capitan just existed is absolutely incredible to me!

Setting Up Camp
Getting to camp, Oprah goes around a corner and hits a rock with their trailer. She feels it wasn't a big deal... but later finds out that it ruined their plumbing in the bathroom. Whoops! It's funny to see Oprah and Gayle try to get their camper set up; they squabble about Oprah taking a call from her man, Stedman Graham, and curse and struggle with the various requirements necessary to get the camper in livable condition for the week. Watching them sweat while the Harpo crew--big strapping men--hold cameras and watch is entertaining. And, because it's Oprah, the entire campground gathers to watch them.

Socializing
Oprah makes up a round of her favorite drink, a Moscow Mule; she shares the recipe and you can check it out here on her website. They seem like a take on mojitos to me. They take the drinks around the campsite to their neighbors, try what the neighbors are cooking for dinner, and make friends.

We learn that the second half of their adventure will air Wednesday, November 3 (next week); at the end of this show, though, Oprah brings up a couple she met at Yosemite, Woody and Judy Square. They stuck out because he's Black; thus far, he's the only other Black person they met. They're avid campers and take their family every summer, so Oprah brings them up on stage and gives them the Coleman Camper and hybrid Chevy Tahoe that she used. Yay for them!

Gospel Filter Review
The big thing that stuck out to me was very simple, and so this review will be shorter and sweeter than the recap (which, come on--wasn't it way shorter than usual?) if you can believe that.

First of all, creation is just that--created. It didn't happen by chance. Genesis 1 leaves no room for doubt--God made the world and everything in it. Now, whether that was around 10,000 years ago or 10 billion years ago isn't made crystal clear, but ultimately, it matters not. God made the world, humans were created (not evolved) and He is absolutely sovereign. We know that Jesus is the firstborn of all creation and God makes it clear creation yearns for the redemption that ultimately awaits it thanks to Jesus.

Finally, creation is meant to reveal God to us. Simply beholding God's creation makes us without excuse when it comes to understanding God's character, His invisible attributes and divine qualities.

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.
Romans 1:20


So, then, yay for camping! What a sweet chance to rest, enjoy loved ones, and, most of all, revel in the loving God who reveals His good character to us through what He made. That includes people of every race, color, creed, gender, age, size, whatever! I pray that Oprah would enjoy creation as a good gift from God, the God who became a man and died on the cross for her sins, and nothing more, nothing less.


Lastly, for more on a Biblical view on generosity and giving, read this post.


And we're out! See you Monday!


Up Monday

Portia de Rossi talks about an eating disorder, being gay, and her weekend ranch retreat.

Episode 34 - For the First Time in 45 Years: The Sound of Music Cast Reunites

The Sound of Music Cast Reunion
Well, ooh-la-la. Today is the first reunion of the cast in 45 years. Forty-five years! When Oprah announces that the cast, including Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer, will be on the show the audience screams with glee. Lovely.

In a clip, we learn that The Sound of Music began with an autobiography written in 1949 written by the real Maria von Trapp. It turned into a Broadway musical , and then became a movie. At the time, Christopher Plummer, who played Captain von Trapp, was a Hollywood bad boy who reluctantly took the role. Julie Andrews was fresh off of her role as Mary Poppins and considered perfect for the role.

Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer
Oprah welcomes Julie and Christopher into the studio, and the happiness is infectious. Oprah asks if the movie means as much to them as it has to the rest of us, and both Julie and Christopher say yes. Oprah asks about their chemistry, and Julie says she was very intimidated by him, and he says he'd had a crush on her since seeing her on Broadway in My Fair Lady. He says it was a bit of a tease, because Julie, then 28, had just had a child and he had to stay far away from her.

We see the famous clip from the movie in which we meet the children, in which the captain whistles them into the room, and Oprah asks Christopher to do the honors. He quips that it's been sterilized in whiskey and then whistles the actors who played the children onto the stage.  [For a full cast list, go here]

Julie Andrews & Oprah: One on One
The world first heard Julie Andrews at 13, singing in London. By 19 she was on Broadway, and in 1964 she won the Academy Award for her title role in Mary Poppins. After 3 decades in movies and on stage, she had to have throat surgery in 1997, permanently losing her singing voice.

Oprah asks about the iconic opening scene in which Julie is singing on a mountaintop about the hills being alive. Julie remembers it vividly, and we learn that they did several takes of her doing the twirl; each time, a jet helicopter would circle around her and the sheer force of the wind gust would knock her to the ground. She had mud and hay in her mouth and would try to stay on her feet but then, again, blam, to the ground she'd go! It makes me want to watch the movie and see if her dress looks dirty :)

Next, Oprah inquires about Julie's singing voice. She says that she had a "freak" voice, was a bit of a child prodigy as young as age 7, but quickly realized that her voice was a gift because it gave her an identity. When asked about the surgery in 1997, Julie tells us that she developed a muscular striation on her vocal chords. The surgery to have the tissue removed wasn't successful and her voice didn't return. Oprah asks about the loss, and Julie says that she was in denial for about a year, thinking she was healing slowly. There is no cure, and though she can sing a few low notes--she jests with Oprah that she can "sing the hell out of Old Man River if you really want me to"--her upper registry sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

Upon being asked if it was the greatest loss of her life, Julie replies that it was certainly a great loss and she went into a long decline. The miracle, though, she says is that just as Maria says in the movie, "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." That was when she began writing children's books with her daughter Emma, and their books are very successful. Her daughter said to her that she re-found her voice.

Christopher Plummer
Having been called one of the greatest actors ever, Christopher Plummer has been in more than 100 films since appearing in The Sound of Music. Much about his life can be read of in his "self-penned memoir" (Oprah's words), In Spite of Myself. At 80, he continues to be "one of the busiest and most sought after actors of our time."  He jokes with Oprah that he has avoided ever doing an interview with this group on purpose. He tells Oprah that his role as the captain wasn't exactly Hamlet. Oprah asks if it wasn't deep or provocative enough and he tells her it wasn't human enough, that there wasn't enough humor in it.

Plummer tells Oprah that some of his behavior at the time was unconscionable, and that he went on a three week drinking binge around the Austrian countryside with some of his friends. Upon returning to the set, he was told that they had to let out his costume because he was "fatter than Orson Welles." After the cynicism, though, he was asked to watch the movie some years later with some children, and he says that upon watching it he realized that it's one of the greatest movie musicals ever made.

Ultimate Viewer Testimonies
Oprah has some viewers who love the movie, so we see clips of them. One woman describes singing I Have Confidence before major events, from job interviews to her wedding. Another tells how the movie inspired her to become a nun. A woman born completely deaf describes how, after a cochlear implant operation, the first music she ever heard was Julie Andrews singing The Hills are Alive in The Sound of Music and how music is now her favorite thing and she now works mentoring sign language interpreters in the theater . A man describes being dragged to watch the movie by his wife; after being deployed to Vietnam seven months later, he rewatched the movie 127 times during his year in Vietnam. He said he could go to another world, to the part of him that was free with no worries, woes, or concerns, for 3 hours.


The von Trapp Children
Oprah asks Charmian Carr, who played Liesl, if she was actually 16 going on 17. Carr replies that she was 21, but the best part was that she was an adult and got to stay in the same hotel as Christopher Plummer, to which everyone laughs. Oprah asks if she learned anything from him, and Carr says she learned how to drink. On a more serious note, though he seriously did teach her how to drink, he played piano and sang every night, which she says was wonderful.

We learn that the actress who played Gretl, Kym Karath, couldn't swim and was terrified in the "falling out of the rowboat" scene. Duane Chase, who played Kurt, talks about how wonderful it was for him to be on set and they talk about loving the music themselves. Julie says that they first shot Favorite Things together and everyone seems a bit wistful.

In clips we learn about issues like growth spurts (the boy who played Friedrich, Nicholas Hammond grew 6 inches in 6 months!) and teeth falling out for the littlest girls. In the studio the actors joke about mischief, like switching out people's breakfast orders hanging on their hotel room doors. They became like a real family after spending 9 months together and all still keep in touch to this day.


Life After The Sound of Music
The children each went different ways; Angela Cartwright, who played Briggita, went on to star in Lost in Space, a popular television show in the 60s. Heather Menzies-Urich, who played Louisa, tried to "shake-off" her squeaky clean image and did a Playboy centerfold, a ploy which she says didn't work. We learn that the actors and actresses who played the von Trapp children have a "treasure trove" of memorabilia that they've held onto and so they are writing a book, The Seven Children, that they plan to release next year. The plan is to address the many questions they've been asked for 45 years about what it was like to be on the movie.

Real von Trapp Children Singers
After a final break, we see a clip from 1973 in which the real Maria von Trapp appeared on a show called The Julie Andrews Hour and they sang Edelweiss together. Today, the real great-grandchildren of Maria and the captain are still singing together, and Oprah welcomes 19-year-old Amanda, 22-year-old Sophia,  20-year-old Melanie, and 16-year-old Justin to the stage. They perform Edelweiss  to a montage of clips from the movie interspersed with home video clips from the set playing behind them.

Oprah thanks them and the cast, announces that a special Blu-ray edition of The Sound of Music is being released on November 2 and we're done!

Gospel Filter Review
This is such a great opportunity to point out why I am doing a blog like this. The whole point is to look at what culture pumps out, to filter it through the Gospel, and pick out redemptive themes. For one, as I've said before, it's inspiring to see people whom God has gifted and they are great at something. Even if they don't use their talent for Jesus' glory, nor ascribe credit to Him, we can still enjoy their craft and admire the God who has given us such beauty in the world around us.

The talent in the singing and dancing, the masterful story telling, the inspiration of storyline itself, and the beauty of the natural creation combine to make The Sound of Music a classic piece of art that millions have enjoyed. It's a great opportunity, too, for parents to talk to their children (or for people to pray through themselves!) about what they might do in the face of evil and what it looks like right now to ask Jesus to reveal hatred in our heart toward others, so we can repent and love others with His love.

Doing this blog is also a good reality check, a reminder about the depravity of man. It was sad to hear that the actress who played Liesl, who seemed so innocent and sweet in the movie, drank and basically lusted after an older Hollywood bad boy. And Plummer himself seemed like such a virtuous man, someone maybe many young girls wish their own father had been like, in the role of Captain von Trapp. To hear of his binge drinking, and likely promiscuity (in other words, using women for pleasure and not loving them as daughters created in the image of their Father God), just made me sad. It's a reminder to all of us to never put our hopes in humans, but to remember that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, even celebrities who on screen seem like such great role models.

Our hope lies in the verses linked above that precede the one I quoted, which I'll post here as a reminder of how to pray. If you don't know Jesus, then receive His blood shed on the cross, forgiving your sins and restoring you to relationship with God, as a free gift of grace. If you do know Jesus, ask Him to show you sin you need to repent of, particularly where you might either be idolizing created things (including people, movies, culture, etc) or, on the other end, constantly criticizing and condemning the world and not seeking His redemption as He's woven it all around us. And pray for those who don't know Him, that these verses might become joy and life written on their hearts!

 ...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.
Romans 3:23-26



Up Tomorrow

Oprah and Gayle's Big Yosemite Camping Adventure: Part 1

Episode 33 - Legendary Icon Jane Fonda: Her Life, New Love, and Working Out

Tonight I am simply utterly exhausted. Tomorrow is busy. Friday is busy. Saturday through what feels like the rest of my life is busy! So, I'm choosing not to do this episode. I'll save it in my TiVo and hopefully someday I'll have time to get caught up, but if not then I might just miss this one. I hope you're ok with that!

Up Tomorrow

For the First Time in 45 Years: The Sound of Music Cast Reunites

Episode 32 - America's Worst Cooks Get Rescued by Jessica Seinfeld

Jessica Seinfeld Cooks!

Jessica Seinfeld has a new book out called Double Delicious: Good Simple Food for Busy, Complicated Lives. She's here on the Oprah show to help save cooks. Her husband, Jerry (yes, that Jerry Seinfeld) is in the audience and he says he loves his wife's food because she takes good, simple food and makes it delicious.

Oprah shows us home tapes that viewers sent in to show how terrible they are at cooking. One of them had a fire start behind her (apparently not intentionally!) and one shows us that her Crock Pot stores her scrunchie collection. As in her hair scrunchie collection. Awesome. There are six notable mentions in the studio to try Jessica's recipes and learn.

Jessica's made a super yummy looking lasagna (it was easy and done in the Crock Pot) and everyone is "mmm-ing" and I want some! Thankfully, the Oprah website has her recipes, so you can check it out there:

http://www.oprah.com/food/Recipes-by-Jessica-Seinfeld

Blurg, this is making me hungry! Definitely check out those recipes. One great thing Jessica does, too, is sneak vegetables into food wherever she can in a way that your kids (or husband... or you...) will hardly notice it and eat it. Her recipes are healthy, too, like her tostada made with ground turkey instead of beef.

Shopping
After the break, in clip, Jessica and her self-proclaimed bestie Ali Wentworth go to the grocery store and help shoppers buy better food. General tips are whole wheat, less sodium, less sugar, etc. Jessica says that she fills her shopping cart the way she wants to fill her life with food--a few treats and lots of healthier options. Jessica has a great shopping list helper on Oprah's website, so you can check that out!

Saving Victoria
A husband named Ryan sent in a video to tell Oprah that, though he loves her deeply, his wife is the worst cook in America. Jessica and Ali surprise Victoria at her home, telling her that they're bringing her to Chicago to help her learn to cook. In the studio, Victoria's son tells Oprah that his mom really is the worst cook in America! We learn that the day before, Jessica and Victoria spent time in the kitchen so that Victoria could learn a new recipe and tips. Victoria's asparagus in the tape looked like a wet noodle because it was so overcooked; Jessica teaches her how to roast it. Her roasting and seasoning method can translate into most other vegetables.

Jessica has a simple and great roast chicken recipe that she demos and you should totally check it out!

Adam Says: Shopping Tips
One of the most popular columns in O Magazine, according to Oprah, is one called Adam Says. Written by Adam Glassman, the column gives people fashion advice in a way that keeps people looking good without breaking the budget. Today he's helping the O'Connor family, as the three women are spending much more money than they family can afford. The dad is hoping they can "shop for less."

Adam takes the family to TJ Maxx. His tips are that the newest, most fashionable items are at the front of the store, other new items are around the perimeter, and the deepest discounts are in the middle. He gives great advice to the older daughter, saying, "Don't spend on trends." For example, every major designer this fall had a faux fur vest, and while it's a great trend, spending top dollar on a Chanel one that will be out of style next year would be ridiculous. Love it!

High-low Fashion Show
After a break, Adam does a high-low fashion show. He shows current trends, with twins wearing outfits that are the same look but one is high fashion and the other is much more affordable. For example, the first outfit featured a leopard-print dress and a faux fur jacket; honestly, both looked pretty great. High fashion = $6,700 (to which Oprah quipped, "You could get a car!"); affordable = $320. In the second look, Mad Men-esque 60s inspired dresses; the difference was $7,500 to $175. Oy! The final look, camel colored 70s inspired pants suits, had a difference of $7,600 to $258. Honestly, with each outfit, there was a bit of a difference--the expensive items clearly had better cuts and better materials, but really, Oprah was right. People should spend the equivalent of a good used car for one outfit!

Australia Trip Update
Oprah tells us that they are going to introduce us over the next few weeks to some of her "ultimate" viewers that are going to Australia with her. One woman describes the energy being insane, that it was probably "one of the most happiest moments" of her life.

And we're out!

Gospel Filter Review
This was a fun episode; a lighter episode was needed in the midst of so much about murder, sexual abuse, death of children, etc. I'm grateful for the lighter topic! There are two great, practical themes here: food and fashion. Very woman friendly today! So, let's hit it!

Food
Food is such a good gift from God! The best part is that He knows it and it wasn't a mistake! Did you know the word feast, or variations of it, is in the Bible 187 times? Granted, not all of those are in a positive context--some verses are about the enemy feasting on your stuff, or wanting to feast on your stuff if you aren't careful. It's a small rabbit trail, but that's people taking a good gift from God and using it for their own selfish gain. Many of the verses are about feasting on good food. Here is a great one:

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.
Isaiah 25:6


How great is that? One day, there will be a great feast in heaven, the marriage supper of the Lamb. It's going to be a big party following the wedding of Jesus to His bride, the Church (that means all Christians!). It pretty much lasts for eternity, because eternity is when sin and death are no more and those who belong to Jesus enjoy life as it was meant to be, without the effects of sin and death.

Here's the thing--people think heaven will be this awful, boring time in which people just praise God, but it's about as alive and fun as that one church your grandma dragged you to when you were a kid and you had to wear scratchy fancy clothes and you weren't allowed to move and the pastor spoke for 45 minutes about "whatever a man sows he shall reap" and it was scary and boring and people kept saying "amen" very solemnly every 27 seconds and the singing only had an old piano and you couldn't figure out how to follow the stanzas in the hymnal and everyone around you sang really high and smelled like mothballs and you saw that one lady give someone the stink eye for having a Bible that wasn't King James and then prayer lasted for 20 minutes but all you could think about was lunch and how badly you needed to pee and wishing you could sit down for prayer because your feet were starting to hurt.

Barf! That's not at all what heaven will be like! I'm not sure, but I wonder if heaven won't be all that different from life here--eating food, doing work, spending time with people, enjoying their company and serving them, praying and talking to Jesus, enjoying talents and hobbies and beautiful creation around us--only without any temptation to sin, always fully resting in God's character, secure in how loved we are, no enemy to lie and destroy, and the very world we live in not broken but perfect. Can you imagine that? The garden had all of the good things and none of the bad things before the fall. I don't know exactly what heaven will be like, but I don't think it will be people standing around bowing down and singing to God non-stop for eternity; if that were true, why would there be mansions, homes to go live in? And why would Jesus talk about feasting at hte marriage supper? It certainly won't be us as babies in diapers playing harps and lounging on clouds!


So, then, food. It's a good gift to be enjoyed and we'll even have food in heaven! Awesome! I loved that today gave practical tips on how to cook delicious, healthy meals that are good for you and don't require that you go to cooking school or at least spend 4 hours a day watching the Food Network to figure out! God wants us to enjoy the food that we eat. He also wants us to steward our bodies well, and he created an abundance of delicious foods that grow in the earth or, if it's according to your conscience, tasty meats that don't have a lot of fake stuff pumped into them that make you obese and tired and kill you.

That's not to say you can never have a Twinkie, or that it's sin to ever eat at McDonald's. Some Christians try to go there, but it's just not true. God does say our bodies are a temple and we were bought with a price, that the Holy Spirit indwells our body so that we should steward them well, and that God wants us to do everything for His glory as an act of worship. This means that we don't eat so carefully and exercise so much that we're worshiping our appearance, feeding our desire for a thin body over our desperate need to feast on Christ as our source of life. Neither should we eat carelessly, sinfully seeking comfort or pleasure, or eating as a way to punish ourselves or hide our body for fear of attention if it's thin, etc; also we shouldn't be lazy and never exercise.

It's not to say that if we see an obese person we get to assume they are in sin (or assume a thin person is a control freak and thus in sin); God cares about our own heart, how we are dealing with food and exercise and whether we are living for His glory in those areas. Really, someone else's heart is only our concern when we are lovingly walking through life with them and the Lord chooses to use us to point that person to His gospel. Otherwise, it's not really any of our business and most of the time we're far more worried about if someone else is worshiping God in those areas than we are asking Jesus to be Lord of them in our own lives.

So! Enjoy good food! Give your body good food that nourishes you, not only food that delights your tongue. Likewise, don't so carefully control your life such that you get to the place where you literally feel like eating one cookie would be sin. Let the Holy Spirit tell you what sin is, but don't decide to call something sin if it's not just because it meets your agenda of always fitting in your skinny jeans or losing those last 3 (or 5 or 10 or 50) pounds. Seek to know and love Jesus and let Him show you what it looks like to worship him with food and exercise.

And finally, especially for busy moms, let people like Jessica Seinfeld give you tips like a Crock Pot lasagna that takes 20 minutes to prepare and brings delight to your family because it's so delicious! What a blessing and a treat!

Fashion
I've written about beauty before, and I encourage you to read the Gospel Filter Review on this post if you haven't already. This piece about fashion will pick up where that review on filter left off. Basically, it's ok to want to look good. The Bible never says that women have to intentionally look bad to be holy. Religious people make that stuff up by taking good heart intended verses such as this one totally out of context:

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

              I Peter 3:3-4

Notice that Peter doesn't say you can't wear make-up or jewelry, nor do your hair and wear cute clothes. He commends women to let their adorning not be external but internal. To adorn means to enhance something, particularly with beautiful objects. He's not saying it's sin to adorn externally, but he's saying that what enhances a woman, what makes her attractive, should be her heart of submission to Christ. In the New American Standard version of the Bible, it says, "Your adornment must not merely be external." Basically, looks should never be our focus.

A passage that might be more confusing is this one:

...likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.
I Timothy 2:9-11

First, it's absolutely imperative that we see the hear is that a woman again is to always be more concerned with her character than her external appearance. The principal is clothes should reflect a heart that seeks to honor Jesus by dressing respectably, with modesty and self-control. A woman professing to know, love, and belong to Jesus needs Him desperately, and part of belonging to Jesus means that she needs to humbly ask Him about what she wears (including make-up and hairstyle in addition to clothes, shoes, and jewelry) and why she's wearing it. She needs to ask Jesus first if her heart is seeking Him above all else; then she can ask Him specifically to show her sin if she's not being modest or respectable.

I love these words from Warren Wiersbe from his Bible Exposition Commentary about this passage, so I'll share them with you!

The contrast here is between the artificial glamour of the world and the true beauty of a godly life. Paul did not forbid the use of jewelry or lovely clothes, but rather the excessive use of them as substitutes for the true beauty of “a meek and quiet spirit” (see 1 Peter 3:1–6). A woman who depends only on externals will soon run out of ammunition! She may attract attention, but she will not win lasting affection. Perhaps the latest fashion fads were tempting the women in the church at Ephesus, and Paul had to remind Timothy to warn the women not to get trapped.

Ephesus was a wealthy commercial city, and some women there competed against each other for attention and popularity. In that day expensive hairdos arrayed with costly jewelry were an accepted way to get to the top socially. Paul admonished the Christian women to major on the “inner person,” the true beauty that only Christ can give. He did not forbid the use of nice clothing or ornaments. He urged balance and propriety, with the emphasis on modesty and holy character.

Don't you love that? It's great to dress well and look good. That's not sinful. What's even better is that God loves us and wants us to delight in Him; when our hearts are delighting in Him then we're free to enjoy cute clothes and those earrings we love and those shoes we found on clearance that are adorable and still comfy! We enjoy them more when we're worshiping Jesus and our identity isn't wrapped up in the external, when we don't have to worry if we look fat in these jeggings or if our Nordstrom Rack shoes aren't as nice as the $700 Jimmy Choos we saw that one girl buying when we were window shopping.

Now, believe you me, I am not a fashionista. I don't spend $250 on an outfit--I spend $250, and MAYBE that, if it's because I lost 130 pounds and I need an entirely new wardrobe. My husband treated me to some maternity clothes for my birthday, and if he wasn't with me telling me how good I looked and that I "ha[d] to get that shirt!" then I would never have spent $150! As it were, though, I got 2 pairs of pants, 2 tops, jeans, and a great nursing bra for that price, including the ridiculous 10% tax we Seattleites pay. Likewise, I rarely wear make-up and, while I love to straighten it, I don't color or highlight my hair. This isn't a moral thing, nor do I pretend it's spiritual; I simply like to be low-maintenance. I can't lie--I don't wash my face at night, only in the morning, but when I wear make-up I have to wash my face at night and that's annoying! As for hair, I don't like to spend the money nor deal with the upkeep of trendy cuts and coloring. That's just me, and I'm comfortable in my femininity because Jesus cares about my heart and my husband actually prefers me fresh-faced and wearing... well, the fewer clothes the better.

So, then, just as much as a girl who loves fashion shouldn't put her identity in her clothes, neither should any woman feel like she has to be trendy and wear make-up to be a woman.

The other factor to fashion is stewardship. If you can't afford something, don't buy it. It's simple! But even more so, how you spend your money is an issue of the heart. Worship Jesus with your finances. Give generously, because God is generous and so you should be, too. Seek God's will when you form a budget, and pray about every penny you spend. If you overspend, repent! If you realize that you're being controlled by your budget, that it's not about worshiping Jesus but has become about your need to control or create a sense of security by how much you can put in savings each month, repent! Jesus will show you sin, and you can live with freedom. He'll give you wisdom when you draw near to him; I wrote a blog post all about this and I encourage you to read it!

So, today was a lot of information for a lighter episode, but this is where life is lived. We all eat and wear clothes every single day. It matters what the Bible says about these matters. He cares first and foremost about our hearts because He loves us and wants us to be in close relationship with Him. He's good and when we are in close relationship with Him it's so refreshing because we experience joy and freedom! Praise God for that!

Up Tomorrow
Legendary Icon Jane Fonda: Her Life, New Love, and Working Out

Episode 31 - The Worst Day of Their Lives and the Miraculous Twist of Fate

I'm trying to prepare myself because I just know I'm going to cry uncontrollably today. The show is about a couple whose three young children were killed in a car accident and the miracle that happened one year later. A second segment will also feature a Virginia Tech massacre survivor.

The Worst Day of Their Lives
Chris and Lori Coble describe themselves as a fun loving, goofy family. Three and a half years ago it was the day after their son Kyle's fifth birthday, so Lori took 4-year-old Emma and 2-year-old Katie and  spent the day at a carnival-type set up at a local shopping center. Heading home for nap time, they were stopped in traffic when a semi truck, filled with 40,000 pounds of cargo, slammed into the back of their minivan going over 55 mph. Lori was knocked unconscious, but her mother Cindy was awake and remembers the horrible sound of metal on metal.

The 911 responders say the accident was the worst they had ever seen. Lori and her mother were taken to a hospital for a severe concussion and broken ribs, respectively. Chris was called to a different hospital where two of his kids were, and one by one he found out that Emma and Katie had died. They weren't at the same hospital, so he couldn't even be there to say good-bye. He had to tell Lori, and she says she felt like screaming, because she couldn't understand how they could be dead and her alive. Chris rushed to be by Kyle's side, and his eyes were open which gave Chris hope, but Kyle's brain hadn't been receiving oxygen. Lori was transported to the hospital where Kyle was, and together they talked to him to say good-bye before turning off life support.

Chris describes telling Kyle that he wished he could go in his place, that he wished things were different. He told Kyle that his sisters were waiting for him, and so they let him go. He describes having his hand on Kyle's chest and feeling Kyle's heart stop beating when the machines were turned off and the room went dark. I'm crying too hard and have to pause.

Celebrating Life Over Death
After a break, the Cobles describe reality setting in when they had to pick out caskets; not just one, but three tiny caskets for all of their kids. Lori tearfully describes waking up from a dream, realizing they weren't laughing anymore. She talks about spending a lot of time in their rooms afterward, smelling their beds, smelling their clothes. Oprah tells us that she has the Cobles on to inspire people that no matter what you are going through you can make it. Chris talks about pushing through the pain to talk at their funeral, and Oprah talks about learning this, too, that you have to go through the fire and go through the pain as opposed to living in denial.

Oprah tells us that one reason they chose to do this show is to celebrate the children's lives. She learned on a show with Dr. Phil that when we lose loved ones we focus on the day of the death, playing it over and over like a movie reel in our heads. Lori says that the day of the accident played over in head for years, that she'd close her eyes at night and see the accident. Lori says that eventually their lives, the happy times when they were alive, began to seep in. Oprah asks about a pact they made, and Chris tells us that he and Lori had to promise one another, when going to sleep at night, that they would both be there the next morning, that neither one would do anything to him or herself to leave the other alone. Chris talks about the temptation to escape the grief by taking their own life, because they could then see their babies again. But, ultimately, despite much family and community support, Chris and Lori only had each other to really, fully understand what they were going through.

Something I love is that Chris points out that people say all sorts of things to try and bring comfort, to try and make people feel better. The main ones are, "Time heals all wounds," and, "Everything happens for a reason." He says it's supposed to make people feel better, but it makes you feel more angry because you feel even more isolated. Oprah says Dr. Phil teaches that time doesn't heal anything; it's what you do with the time. The memory never changes and the wound doesn't just go away.

Making Marriage Work
After a break, Oprah says that often these things rip apart marriages. Oprah asks how they dealt with the tragedy in their marriage. Lori replies that, despite the stages of grief, including anger, they made the decision to stick it out. Chris says they started counseling right away and he learned to keep lines of communication open and to remain engaged. Lori's mother Cindy is in the audience and speaks of how strong they have been and how she's been amazed at their incredible strength.

It was difficult to adjust back to daily life. Lori had been a stay at home mom, and so Chris stayed home from work for about six months to help her adjust to the loneliness; after five years of a house filled with toys and children and laughter and fighting, the silence was deafening.

A Miracle Birth
We go to another break, and when we return Oprah asks Lori about the fact that she had spent a lot of time pondering why she didn't die. Lori says she feels she didn't die because Chris couldn't have survived alone; he needed her. After three months, Chris and Lori felt like parents without children so they chose to try and have another baby. Almost one year to the day after the accident, Lori gave birth to triplets. We get to meet them--two and a half year old Ashley, Ellie, and Jay. A boy and two girls. The back story is that after having Katie they were done having children, and so in order to have another baby they had to do in vitro fertilization. They found out that the fertilized eggs were two girls and a boy. They took this as a sign from above, and so they chose to have all three implanted in Lori's uterus and all three eggs survived.

Oprah asks about feeling like the spirit of their original three children survives through their triplets. Lori says yes, that it's like a little tiny part of their Kyle, Emma, and Katie survived. They already tell the triplets about their three siblings in heaven, and they have the same middle names as Kyle, Emma, and Katie. They don't plan to hide the fact that the triplets exist because of the loss of their first three children, and they even go to the cemetery to have a picnic--as much as you can with two and a half year olds--and talk about the memory of the children.

Forgiving the Man Driving the Truck
The man who was driving the truck is a father of three, and he told the judge he was suicidal for what he had done. He was sentenced to one year in prison for three counts of manslaughter. Chris says he and Lori were able to hug the man and tell him that they knew it was an accident and that they forgave him.

Lawsuit
The accident happened because Lori was stopped in a blind curve, so the truck driver didn't see her until it was too late. The Coble's found out that found out where the accident happened had been a problem spot for ten years; they sued not to get rich but because they felt that the system that monitors the roads is ineffective and they hope to see it fixed. They lost their lawsuit and now are being charged with $291,000 in legal fees, plus an additional charge for the trial itself, which they hope to be able to appeal.

Oprah closes out the segment with the Cobles by asking them what they would say to someone else living through a tragedy. Lori says she wants them to know to hang on to their loved ones with all they have. Oprah thanks the Cobles and tells them that we believe in miracles even more now because we've heard their story.

***

Virginia Tech Massacre Survivor Colin Goddard
Colin Goddard was in French class on April 16, 2007when Cho Seung-Hui reached his classroom at 9:43 am. Cho burst through the door and opened fire, shooting Colin four times, once each in the left knee, left hip, right shoulder, and right hip. Two days after the shooting, Colin was on Oprah's special show while still in his hospital bed, one of few survivors with 32 dead.

Oprah asks Colin if he feels like his identity has been wrapped up in being "Colin Goddard, Survivor". He says that he has only been a young professional for two years, so he doesn't have any accolades to list as his accomplishments to put his identity in. That said, like the Cobles, he can relate to the decision to choose what to do with horrible circumstances. He chose that this would not consume him and be his whole life.

After being asked about his scars and if he revisits this on a daily basis, Colin says that it comes up often. He says it's not enough to "take [him] out of the zone", but that things bring it up. Whenever he hears about another shooting he thinks about the families are getting the phone call that someone they love is in the hospital. Oprah asks about returning to the classroom, and Colin says that it was incredibly difficult for any students who had been through the shooting, that someone coming into a classroom late and bursting through the door was traumatic for some students.

Colin is in a new documentary called Living For 32. In the film, he goes undercover to expose how easy it is to get your hands on a gun. Without showing any ID, Colin is able to buy guns all across the country, from handguns and pistols to assault weapons. Oprah asks if Colin has found his calling in doing this work, and he says that he felt like he just couldn't sit on the sidelines anymore after hearing about more shootings after his experience at Virginia Tech.

Oprah inquires whether Colin feels like he has a stronger sense of purpose for having survived such a harrowing experience. Colin says that he frequently hears things like that he must have some higher purpose for surviving, that there must be some amazing thing he's meant to do. Others say God was looking out for him that day, to which Oprah says implies that he wasn't looking out for the other 32. Collin says that both of those are hard for him to take in, and that he simply feels that he was lucky, simple as that. His ultimate goal, in response to being asked by Oprah, is to try to do something about gun violence in this country. He says that on average there are 32 Americans killed by guns every day in this country; that's 30,000 a year, and another 70,000 are shot and survive.

Oprah ends by saying that miracles do happen and thanking everyone, and we're out.

Gospel Filter Review

I've written at length about tragedy, death and being strong on our own power, so definitely check those out if you haven't read them already. I'll touch on tragedy and the character of God again in this review, however.

I said I loved it when Chris talked about the things people say to try and make people feel better-- "Time heals all wounds," and, "Everything happens for a reason." It reminds me of lyrics from the song Breakeven by The Script that I just love:

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words are gonna stop the bleeding

So true. Hopefully I can represent this well, but I have been chewing on this for about ten days now so we'll see how it goes! Recently I was getting a pair of boots and chatting with the guy working the cashier. It came up that I'm pregnant and that we had just found it that it's a boy, and we were talking about naming sons. He shared a name he and his wife love, and I asked if they were expecting as well. He somberly shared that she recently miscarried but that they're still trying. I told him how sorry I was, and he sort of shrugged and said, "Yeah, well, everything happens for a reason." His voice was saying, "It's no big deal, it will all work out," but his shoulders and eyes were saying, "I don't know how to handle pain this intense."

My heart was just ripped out of my chest. I wanted to tell him about Jesus, but the timing just wasn't right. After we left the store, my husband and I prayed for him and his wife. I started thinking about how someone without Jesus handles something like miscarrying a wanted and loved little baby. See, "Everything happens for a reason," is hopeless. If there is no God, then it's just cosmic horrible crap and it's our responsibility to respond well and use it to make us stronger. If there is a God, then it suggests that he is the guy in the sky allowing (best case) or causing (worst case) the bad stuff to happen to "toughen us up." Either way, it sucks. It's still on us to figure out how to make sense of bad things, to be a good enough person to learn from the experience and not let it go to waste. Otherwise, how do we make sense of tragedies like losing our three babies all at once, or being shot in a massacre of college students and teachers?

In this post I wrote at length about, basically, the problem of evil and why bad things happen. I want to paste part of what I wrote in response to the idea that God causes evil or that He is in part evil himself for not stopping it.

No. It's the result of sin and its effects of bringing pain, disease, and death into the world. God's will is that none would perish, but He's patient, wanting people to know Him and He gives chance after chance for people to meet Him (2 Peter 3:9). I don't think it's a stretch to say that God is not sitting in heaven hoping, even enacting, pain and suffering on people. One spiritual being utterly thrives on pain and death, and that is the enemy, Satan.

Here is a great clip that I think well describes the heart of God and why He is not the perpetrator of evil. The whole thing is amazing, telling the testimony of a sweet woman who was hit on her bike last year here in Seattle and nearly died, for whom the result of living brought many painful surgeries and lifelong effects. But if you skip to 7:26, that is where Pastor Mark (the preaching pastor at my church) describes his response to her asking if God did this to her. In sum, yes God is in charge, but no He did not do this to her. God is good, He is love, and Jesus' suffering for us so that we will not experience hell is the greatest expression of God's love for us.

See, the idea that bad things happen for a reason carries a subtle lie about God's character. It implies, as I said before, that God is causing things to happen or at least not stopping them. This suggests that He is not good, but that instead He's a cruel cosmic puppet master pulling our strings and then telling us to respond well. Worst of all, the presumption when you put God's name on it is that He's not only behind horrible things happening but that He then expects you to respond well so He gets the glory.

Again, this is not God. I don't know why he didn't stop that truck driver or have Lori be parked somewhere else. I don't know why Collin was shot. I know God could have stopped those things but He didn't choose to, and while that makes my heart weep I know that God's heart weeps, too. While it's our good hope that God justly welcomed those sweet children into heaven and rejoiced in having them home (I've linked to it before, but this site does a great job of laying out the Bible's teaching on what happens to children and babies who die), the heartache left behind on an earth now absent of them, the pain of death, grieved His heart deeply. He aches to comfort all who still are grieving, and I pray that the Cobles would know and love Jesus if they don't already.

God doesn't want the Coble's to be strong. He died for their sin and for the sin that broke this world and led to unimaginable circumstances resulting in death. He wants to be their strength, their hope, their comfort, their healing, their joy. Only if they know Jesus will the Coble's spend eternity not only with their babies but with their Father, their Savior, and the Spirit who always pursued them their entire lives. I pray they raise their triplets not only to honor the memory of their siblings who passed so young, but as godly parents whose hope is in Jesus Christ and that they pass on a legacy of intimate relationship with Jesus to their children.

Lastly, Colin made me sad as well, because while he is right that he is not defined by being shot at the Virginia Tech massacre, his life's meaning is not in gun control nor preventing future tragedies either. Again, I'm sure I sound like a broken record, but the truth is that only knowing Jesus and receiving forgiveness of sin gives life meaning and worth. Only Jesus can help Colin find healing and peace after what he lived through. His work on gun control is a great thing, don't get me wrong, but it is not meant to be his sole source of hope.

Knowing one's worth comes only from Jesus. The hope for the Coble's and Colin isn't in being strong, or being lucky, or any of the things that people could come up with to explain searching for meaning through tragedy. These verses are on my heart regarding the guests on today's show; I pray that they would know Jesus and that He would write them on their hearts as a living source of hope and joy.

For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.


I Corinthians 2:2-5


Up Tomorrow
America's Worst Cooks Get Rescued by Jessica Seinfeld

Episode 30 - When Your Own Mother is a Notorious Killer

Recap
Today will have two segments. First is a woman who has been haunted by her "secret identity" for years; her mother is a notorious serial killer. Second is a woman who was convicted 20 years ago of having her teenage lover kill her husband, Pamela Smart. She was convicted to life in prison, and Lisa Ling will be on location in prison to interview her.

Diane Downs

On May 18, 1983, Diane Downs claimed that a shaggy-haired stranger shot her three children at point-blank range as they slept in her car while she was driving late in the evening. She said he shot her in the forearm as she tried to get away; after getting away, she claimed she sped to the nearest hospital. A witness later testified that she was only driving about 10 miles per hour. Her seven year old daughter was dead, her eight year old had lost so much blood that she suffered a stroke, and her three year old son was left paralyzed.

Because her story did not add up, Diane was charged with the shooting, and her then nine-year-old daughter Christie took the stand to testify that her mother had been the shooter. Diane was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison plus 50 years.  Oprah interviewed Diane over 20 years ago while in prison, and she maintained her innocence and still does to this day. Christie and Danny, the young son, were adopted by the prosecutor in the case and live private lives. During the trial, though, it was revealed that Diane was pregnant. She never identified the father, and only ten days after her guilty verdict gave birth to a girl she named Amy Elizabeth. Today, that baby, who was adopted, is 26-years-old and her name is Rebecca. She goes by Becky and is on the Oprah show to talk about her life of hiding her secret.

Diane's Daughter Becky
Becky says her life was ideal growing up, with a stay at home mom and a dad who worked a lot but took care of her. Becky always knew she was adopted, and began asking questions about her birth mother at age eight; her mother said that when she was ready Becky could read a book about her. She tricked a baby sitter at age 12 into revealing her birth mother's name, and was horrified to find who her mother was and what she had done in a book at the library. At 16, a boyfriend showed her the movie starring Farrah Fawcett based on her mother's life. That was when the reality of who her birth mother was really "sank in" and Becky went into a downward spiral, "drinking, doing drugs, sleeping around, and... trying to find love anywhere [she] could."

At 17, she became pregnant. By age 20, she was broke, homeless, and pregnant with her second child. She chose to put that son up for adoption, and so she turned to Diane, who had been forced to give her up for adoption. Now in the studio, Oprah asks why Becky started to spiral out of control when she did have wonderful parents. Becky says she was searching for something more, and that eventually she found herself. Oprah asks if Becky found this when she began corresponding with Diane, and Becky says no.

As early as the second letter, Diane began making claims that she was involved in a conspiracy theory, that she was innocent and in prison as part of a conspiracy to protect her. She told Becky that she also had been being watched her whole life. Ultimately, Becky cut off contact because she realized Diane was crazy. Feeling crazy herself after giving up her son for adoption, Becky asked her counselor if she, too, was crazy. Her counselor told her, "Crazy people don't know that they're crazy. You're dealing with life."

After the break, we see a clip of Oprah interviewing Diane Downs on her show in 1988. Just as I am thinking about how Oprah looked like Michael Jackson then, Oprah, today, jokes that she has to talk to her stylist about her hair and is thankful the 80s are over. What's disturbing was Diane Downs saying she was lonely and missed her children which was why she became pregnant. Oprah asks Becky how she sees her mother, and Becky says that Diane Downs is not nor ever has been her mother; she's her biological mother, but her adopted parents are her family. Oprah asks if they did the right thing by waiting to tell her about Diane, and Becky says yes, that it's something no child can ever understand.

Becky has tried to reach out to her siblings, but they have chosen to remain private. Oprah asks how the relationship is with Becky's adoptive parents, knowing she reached out to Diane, and Becky says it was strained at first. Her parents warned her nothing good could come from it, but she felt she had to figure it out herself. Becky says they are close again now and she is much better.

Pamela Smart
In 1990, 21-year-old New Hampshire resident Pamela Smart was said to seduce a 15-year-old boy and then had him kill her husband. Today she is in the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole, and Lisa Ling sits down with her. Lisa notes that Pam has in prison for more than 20 years, and in a few years she'll have been in prison longer than she was out of it. Lisa asks about Pam's marriage to Greg Smart, and she says they were both very young and the relationship wasn't very mature.

A year into their marriage, Pam met Billy Flynn, a student at the local high school in a self-esteem program where Pam was a volunteer. Pam says Greg had cheated on her, and she felt like it must have been her fault. She says she didn't feel good about herself, but Billy made her feel good about herself and they had a sexual relationship. Pam came home one evening to find her husband dead, having been shot in the back of the head. Billy and three of his friends plead guilty, Billy and two of the boys to second degree murder; the third friend plead guilty to conspiracy to commit murder. Billy and the boys claimed that the whole thing was Pam's idea.

The media swarmed to the tiny New Hampshire town, and Pam was "painted as this vixen who seduced this teenage boy" and had him kill her husband. Pam says that the trial pre-empted soap operas, that jurors weren't sequestered, the trial wasn't moved, and her trial was a living soap opera for people. After 11 days of testimony, Pam was found guilty thanks in large part to tapes from an alleged co-conspirator who had been secretly wired to record their conversation. Today, she still maintains the she was innocent, that she never wanted her husband murdered nor was it ever her idea that he would be. She says she has spent 20 years in prison for something she didn't do,and that the life penalty is worse than death, which would provide an easy way out.

After a break, Pam talks about how weird it is that she's never been on the internet, has never seen a Blackberry, etc, and that it's an odd experience to only know about modern technology through TV. Pam and Lisa then talk about Pam's responsibility; Pam says at first she blamed everyone else, but over time has realized her responsibility, that despite her innocence, she feels a responsibility for her role in having the relationship with Billy.  She maintains that Billy is bad, in that he doesn't care and won't admit the truth. He's likely to be released on parole in a few years, and this angers her and she feels it isn't fair.

Lisa asks about Greg, and Pam says she would tell him she's sorry if she could. She says she misses him and wonders what their life could have been like if none of this had ever happened. Would she have children? Would they still be married? What would their life be like? Lisa inquires whether Pam will still be in prison 20 years from now, just as she's been there for the last 20 years, and Pam says that she hopes not but if she is she'll still be the kind, good person that she's always been. Lisa wants to know if she'll still be maintaining her innocence, and Pam says she will.

Pamela's Mother, Linda
In the studio, Oprah has Pam's mother, and Pam's mentor Eleanor, sit with her for a rare interview. Oprah inquires about what it has been like for Linda, and Linda says that we've all made mistakes and that Pam shouldn't be defined by that one mistake. Linda reiterates Pam's position, that Greg's killers will leave prison soon so they will not "man-up" and admit what really happened for fear of losing their ability to walk free. Oprah asks if Pam should have a new trial, and Linda says she should but that will probably never happen. Oprah talks about being shocked that Pam's trial wasn't sequestered, and Linda says she feels that Pam's constitutional right to a fair trial was taken from her as a result.

Linda talks about how hard it is to celebrate anything, having Christmas gifts for Pam that are 20 years old. She's proud that Pam has done so much while in prison, earning two master's degrees and helping other female inmates. She's still frustrated at how unfair it is that the killers were allowed to have their cold, first-degree murder charge dropped to second-degree as part of their plea bargain but, as she says, with the caveat that they keep their mouths shut after that. Linda also says she was shocked, that she never knew not only of Pam's adultery with Billy but neither did she know of Greg's adultery. They seemed like such a happy, bubbly couple and she never saw any of this coming.

Oprah asks Dr. Eleanor, Pam's academic mentor, about Pam's accomplishments in prison. Dr. Eleanor says that Pam's coping mechanism is helping other people. She was surprised that Pam wanted to attain academic gains, because she had no future and yet she wanted to help people; it was for that reason that she agreed to help Pam, guilty or not. Oprah asks what she thinks now, and Dr. Eleanor maintains that Pam absolutely is innocent and did not have anything to do with Greg's murder.

Linda speaks about something Pam mentioned, that the four teens talked about joking with one another in the car after the murder, laughing about what they had done. She says she has letters in which the teens wrote one another and mocked the jurors, asking if they did a good enough job crying on the stand while giving testimony. Dr. Eleanor says that she feels that Pam suffered judgment due to the public being so morally outraged at the relationship Pam had with a teenage boy that they lost sight of the crime. She feels Pam was found guilty of the sin and not the crime, and that the focus needs to be on the crime, not Pam's sexual relationship with Billy.

A Juror Speaks Out
Alec Beckett, a juror fresh out of college in Pam's trial, says he felt that Pam received a very fair trial. He says he took very seriously his role, that he sequestered himself, not talking to anyone nor watching the news. Alec says that it broke his heart to see how Pam's mother feels, like her daughter did not receive a fair trial. He says that in his experience, everyone took the trial very seriously and there was no funny business among the jurors.

He says the testimony of the boys was hard to take seriously because he and the jurors were so disgusted by what they had done, but that the tapes had been the damning evidence that convinced them that Pamela was guilty. He says they never knew about the sentence, that if the jurors had known that Pamela would get life without parole, it might have made it harder but they still would have delivered the same verdict.

Statement from Greg's Family
Oprah's producers reached out to Greg's family, and his brother Dean sent in a statement in which he makes clear that his family feels that Pam is guilty. As far as the boys, now men nearly 40 years old, being free in a few years Dean says they chose to admit guilt. Had Pam admitted her guilt then she might be free soon also.

Oprah thanks Alec for his candor and we're out.

Gospel Filter Review
There are some obvious things in here to just point out: a mother shooting, paralyzing, seriously wounding and even murdering, her children as it seems that Diane Downs did, is tragic, horrific, and just sickening, not to mention a sinful act hated by God. Additionally, whether Pamela Smart was part of the conspiracy or not, Greg Smart's death is equally horrifying and terrible. The act of shooting an innocent man (innocent in that he had done nothing in particular to any of his murderers) at point blank range in the back of his head as he likely begged for his life is just atrocious and despicably evil. Pamela's adultery, be the sexual partner a 15-year-old boy or a full grown man, and the alleged adultery of her husband is horrific and wrong.  The good news is that everyone can be redeemed, forgiven and set free from the guilt that surely eats at each person. Jesus' blood is for everyone,and there is nothing so hideously shameful that God can't forgive it. To be sure, the painful consequences of people's actions may never relinquish, but the power of the enemy to burden sinners with shame for their sin is vanquished when Jesus forgives and cleanses someone who is humble and repentant.

One big thing that stuck out to me and made me sad was the statements made by both Becky and Pam about, essentially, feeling horrible about themselves and where they turned. For Becky, it was finding out who her biological mother was and what she had done that allowed her to feel lost and sickened at where she came from, as though that which plagued Diana might have been passed down in her DNA, and so she turned to escaping through substance abuse and giving her body away to many boys who would allow her to feel loved for a little while. For Pamela, is was the sense of guilt in her husband's choice to commit adultery that caused her to feel like she must have caused it or deserved it somehow, and so feeling so horrible about herself made someone who would make her feel loved so attractive to her, despite that someone being a 15-year-old boy.

The truth is, both of these women were created by God. He knit them together in their mother's womb; for Becky, it matters not that Diane is her biological mother because her Creator Father is good, without a hint of evil, and she was created in His image. For Pam, despite her husband's betrayal, she has a Father who adores her and who gives Himself to her like a husband, loving her and making her whole. For both women, Jesus in their times of desperate need was surely beckoning to them, trying to show them that He is a better way. God loved them both so much that He came to earth and died for them so that He could be where they find their identity, their worth, their source of love that will never fail them.

My heart aches for both of these women even now, as they each seek to find their identity in cleaned up lives. To be sure, for Becky to no longer be homeless and not in a position where she feels her only option is to give up a child for adoption is a good thing. I'm grateful that it seemed she's been able to piece more of her life together since then. But the ache is still very evident, the haunting notion that her identity is inextricably linked to Diane no matter what she does still whispered in things she says. Additionally, the pain of giving her son up for adoption nearly six years ago still seemed fresh and the ache for her to know the freedom in receiving Christ's forgiveness for all of her sin (not that giving him up was sin, but the choices that led to her being in such a desperate place were sinful, as the show made it seem) was so palpable for me that I can't imagine how desperately God yearns for her to find her worth and identity in relationship with Him through receiving Christ's gift of salvation.

For Pam, kudos to her for choosing to help other women and not just spend her life feeling sorry for herself. Guilty or not (and it seems so hard to tell; only God, Pam, and the four conspirators know who is telling the truth and who is lying) she could choose to just get by and let herself waste away. I'm not condemning her for wanting to help people. However, Dr. Eleanor's comment that Pam's coping mechanism is to help people just made me feel so empty and sad for her. She'll never find freedom that way, even if her guilt only extends to the adultery and not Greg's murder. Doing stuff never fulfills us, especially not when it's driven by a need to overcome something horrible we've done. Only in Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection will we find freedom from our sin and the forgiveness that frees us to serve others out genuine love that flows from the joy we have in relationship with our Father. Then, serving others does give us joy because we're not tied to the various things that suck the life out of us--need for their approval, need for things to go well so we'll feel fulfilled, need for recognition, etc.

My heart for these women, and anyone who is reading this, is in line with God's heart, and that is that He wants to know them. He wants them to find their current identity and worth completely in Him. He wants to cleanse them of sin. He wants to show them joy and freedom in belonging to a Father God who loves them and has only good for them. I pray that this will come to fruition in their lives.

Up Monday
The Worst Day of Their Lives and the Miraculous Twist of Fate

Episode 29 - Lisa Marie Presley Speaks Out About the Death of Michael Jackson

Lisa Marie Presley


Recap
Oprah is on location in the English countryside where Lisa Marie Presley is working on her new album and spending time with her husband and their twin girls. Lisa Marie has two grown children in addition to her toddler daughters. Oprah asks how it is to be changing diapers again 15 years later, and Lisa Marie says that being older and more grounded allows her to not miss as many moments as she did when she was younger. They discuss the oddity of culture in Los Angeles, such as celebrity children being featured in a weekly magazine asking, "Who Wore it Best?"

Michael Jackson
Lisa Marie is very private, but is choosing to speak now with Oprah in order to get personal things out of the way so that when her album is released next year the asking about Michael Jackson will be off limits, been there done that. In a clip we are reminded of Lisa Marie and Michael's whirlwind marriage; they had not spoken in nearly five years when he was found dead nearly 18 months ago. Lisa Marie says she tended to be barky and defensive in previous interviews, and now she wants to speak better and more clearly.

Lisa Marie says she now understands that Michael's manipulation of the media with regards to their relationship was a survival tactic, not proof that he didn't love her. Oprah asks where Lisa Marie was when she first heard about Michael's death, and she says it was the weirdest day, just crying all day for no reason, when a friend came to tell her Michael had died. Her initial reaction was shock; not even tears, just shock.

Their Marriage
The day after his death, Lisa Marie posted a blog in which she described feeling "gutted" because "the person [she] failed to help" was en route to the morgue in LA. Oprah asks if Lisa Marie ever suspected a drug problem, and she says that only right before she filed for divorce did she feel that he might have a problem. In 1995, Jackson collapsed and when she was by his side in the hospital there were indications that there was drug use.

Oprah asks if it was an intimate marriage where everything was spoken about, or if things were avoided. Lisa Marie says that it was in every sense a normal marriage, in which they talked about everything that came up. She has said to Oprah before that it was a normal marriage in terms of sexual intimacy, which is something most people have questioned. Oprah asks if Michael's insomnia existed then, in 1994, and Lisa Marie says that yes, even then, he was like a little gnome who didn't sleep.

Similarities Between Elvis and Michael Jackson
Lisa says that now that he's gone, having died of a prescription drug overdose, the anger and frustration with Michael went away. She says that Michael pushed her out; Oprah asks why the marriage ended, and Lisa Marie tells her that he had to choose between the drugs and the vampires, the sycophants who sucked the life out of him, and he didn't choose her. Lisa Marie experienced the exact same thing with her father, Elvis, and with both men she felt disposable. Lisa Marie was 9 years old when her father collapsed and died in his bathroom in their Memphis home. Fourteen prescription drugs were found in his system. Interestingly, the home where Michael died in LA is literally across the street from Elvis' LA home, one in which she spent much time growing up.

He Knew
Lisa Marie's blog entry was entitled He Knew. She says that when they were married and living at Neverland Ranch, Michael would question her at length about her father's death. He would tell her repeatedly that he felt that he would die just like her father did.

Loving Michael Jackson
Lisa Marie says that Michael was an incredibly dynamic person. She says that there has never been another high in her life comparable to the intoxication she felt when Michael would open up and let her in. Oprah relates, saying that her interview with him in 1992 made her feel like he was shining his light on her, that she left that interview just wishing she could be Michael's friend. Lisa Marie tells her that Michael was like a drug for her, and that she only ever felt that way around one other person--her father. Lisa Marie says they were very much in love, and that when Michael proposed she thought they would be together forever, that when you're that young you can believe that.

Baby Pressure and Divorce
Michael put a lot of pressure on Lisa Marie to have a baby. She felt that she wanted to make sure that they were very united, so there would never be a custody battle. Shortly after their divorce, it was announced that Debbie Rowe was pregnant. Lisa Marie said she knew it was in part a retaliatory act; before the divorce he would tell her that if she wouldn't have a baby then Debbie Rowe was waiting in the wings, willing to do so. The wouldn't succumb to the pressure, and they would fight. Rowe's quick pregnancy was another reason Lisa Marie felt so disposable.

Lisa Marie says she carried a lot of guilt; after marrying at 20 years old, she was only 25 when she divorced her first husband. Twenty days later she and Michael were married. The guilt came from leaving her husband and family for Michael. She also made mistakes in the marriage, going on vacation with her ex-husband to Hawaii (presumably with their children though she doesn't clarify that) and Michael would retaliate by disappearing for weeks at a time. She sees, in retrospect, that Michael did try and did fight for their marriage more with her than with any other female he was ever in relationship with. Only after his death was she able to see that he really did love her.

Their Last Conversation
Oprah asks if it took Michael dying for Lisa Marie to realize he loved her, and she says yes. They spent four years after the divorce getting back together, thinking about really getting back together, etc. The final foot being put down was when the vampires and doctors were coming in and it was too much like her dad, and she was scared. Their last conversation was in 2005; Michael was terrified to learn that Lisa Marie was indifferent to him. He told her that she was right, that people were using him just like she had said they would. He told her he was afraid that people were trying to kill him, to get their hands on his catalog (of his music) and his estate. He told her names that she doesn't want to share, but she says the conversation scared her.

Michael's Abuse Allegations
Oprah says she has asked this before, but she's asking again if Lisa Marie ever saw anything that seemed even remotely inappropriate between Michael and children. Lisa Marie says that during the infamous Martin Bashir interview, in which Michael made statements about things such as thinking it was ok to sleep in a bed with children, she could tell that Michael was "high as a kite". She feels that, for one, the interview was clearly edited in a very, very manipulative way. Secondly, her personal feeling is that Michael felt so angry about the allegations that he would just say things to be defiant, to anger people, to say the worst possible thing he could say just to shock people. Lisa Marie wraps up the topic by saying that she never saw anything, does not believe Michael ever did anything, but that only Michael and the children in the room will ever know what really did or did not happen.

Michael's Death
Oprah asks Lisa Marie what it felt like to be standing over Michael's casket. Lisa Marie says it took six months to recover from standing there with him. She says she didn't want to leave him. Oprah inquires whether, in those moments, if Lisa Marie was able to make peace. Presley replies no, because she felt guilty for not having done more for him, and Oprah wonders if Lisa Marie thinks she could have saved him. Lisa Marie says no, but she still wished she could. Oprah wants to know, then, if Lisa Marie thinks anyone else, such as his family, could have saved him, and Lisa Marie responds that she thinks they tried, but Michael had a way of cutting out anyone who challenged him so people's hands were tied.

Lisa Marie's Current Husband
Oprah asks how her current husband, Michael Lockwood, is dealing with so much being stirred up about Michael Jackson. Lisa Marie says that he'll be so glad when this interview is done, that he wants her to exercise it out of her system. Lisa Marie says she will not talk about Michael again, that if anyone in the future wants to know anything about Michael Jackson they can refer to the Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah thanks Lisa Marie for opening up and we close out the show.

Gospel Filter Review
I was expecting a lot to come from this episode, but perhaps my desire for a break has been sweetly given to me by God. To be clear, I don't plan to skimp on anything or quit! I have just been wondering if Oprah will do any week long hiatuses because these posts take a solid 2 hours every single day, often 3 hours. It's like a part-time job! I love doing this, but it can be exhausting to do this and, hopefully, do it well. There's a lot of prayer that goes into each review, not to mention the emotional exhaustion when the show topics are painful and heavy.

So, in looking at this episode, I feel led to first direct you to other posts I have written about marriage and its purpose. While I completely understand why Lisa Marie had to leave Michael--he chose the drugs over her--it's not a Biblical grounds for divorce (only adultery is, and even then, the Lord's heart is repentance and reconciliation). That said, neither Michael nor Lisa Marie appear to have relationship with Jesus, so the decision to divorce and remarry is a secondary issue to their need to meet Jesus and receive the free gift of salvation.

Secondly, it's very, very sad to me that Michael was so desperate for children that he was willing to hurt his wife by impregnating another woman with his baby--in vitro or not--if his wife wouldn't bend to his will. Yes, wives are to submit to their husbands per Ephesians 5, but also husbands are to love their wives and be understanding. Lisa Marie's reservations were actually very solid--she and Michael did not have the foundation for a stable marriage, and she could foresee eventual divorce and a custody battle, so she wanted to work together with Michael to ensure a better marriage relationship before bringing children into the picture. This was before she even knew of the drug problem, before the worst of the sycophants began, and her caution was very wise. I ache for her, both in how he treated her in that way and that he chose the bloodsuckers over her.

Lastly, I didn't make it clear above, but Lisa Marie spoke of the "god like" status that Michael had. Due to his childhood, shooting to meteoric fame so quickly and never being anything but a superstar, he didn't know how to exist as a normal person. He lived in an "ivory tower" (again, Lisa Marie's words) and didn't know any better than to surround himself with people who treated him like a god and only told him what he wanted to hear. That reveals such sickness in the human heart, both Michael's, that of those immediately surrounding him, and the way in which the legions of fans worshiped him.

I remember where I was when he died--I was a nanny, checking the news on the computer during my lunch break. The parents who employed me were also in the room and suddenly I just blurted out in absolute shock, "Michael Jackson just died." At that point, major outlets weren't saying he was dead, but TMZ had the inside scoop and most were just waiting for the official announcement. I was sad,--I write frequently about greatness, and Michael Jackson was amazingly talented. I'm sad that he was like a drug to Lisa Marie, and that people worshiped him. I'm sad for how this fed his own selfish desires to be worshiped (we all have those desires; we don't all have the gifts and talents to try and make it a reality), I'm sad for how his parents were led astray from parenting well by their own distractions toward greed and fame (I know they loved their son, but they failed him), and I'm sad that when he died, millions of people grieved like those "who do not have hope." The empty promise that he's "in a better place", as so many say, was not enough to stop people from grieving in this way.

Yes, Michael Jackson was incredibly talented. I am saddened that here is no evidence that he had relationship with Jesus Christ, forgiveness of sin, and that his eternity may not be with Jesus right now. More importantly than trying to figure that out, though, is to remind people that our hope is not in mankind or any one person's, or even a group or nation's or all of mankind's, greatness. Our hope is in Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. In Him we have forgiveness of sin and redemption! What a glorious hope we have in the riches of His grace! I pray that Lisa Marie would know these truths, that Jesus would be her redeemer, and that anyone whose hope is an anyone or anything other than Jesus Christ would receive His free gift of salvation and live knowing Him more deeply and intimately every single day.




Up Tomorrow
When Your Own Mother is a Notorious Killer