Episode 44 - Marie Osmond's First Interview

Still ridiculously sick. I may try to catch up on this one, especially with the subject matter of suicide, but at this rate it will be awhile.

Sorry friends!


Up Tomorrow

An Oprah Show Event: 200 Men Who Were Molested Come Forward Part II

Episode 43 - Talk Show Hosts Together For The First Time

Tragically, I am really, really sick. This episode may never get done. I might try to catch up later, or it may just not happen. Vomiting isn't great for pregnant ladies, and since I'm 24 weeks tomorrow I need to protect and love my little man, and honor my husband, by resting.

I promised Jason I would never let this blog rule my life, so it's got to take a back burner today for sure, possibly tomorrow. I'll definitely do Friday's episode, even if I do it late, since it's part 2 of the 200 men coming forward about being sexually abused.

Thank you all for your patience and grace!


Up Tomorrow

Marie Osmond's First Interview Since Her Son's Suicide

Episode 42 - Former President Bush on His Most Difficult Decisions

I'm actually kind of excited for this episode. I have always found GW (as I'm going to call him through this recap) fascinating, regardless of where I agree or disagree with him. I hope Oprah is respectful!

G.W. Bush
In the two years since leaving office, GW has been working on his memoir, Decision Points; it releases today and you can buy it here on Amazon. Oprah asks about the moment he stepped on the airplane to go home to Texas after seeing President Obama sworn in. GW says that he was reflecting on the gift of a peaceful transfer of power in our nation, and joined his mother and father (whom he "love"s and "adore"s, respectively) and his wife, Laura, on the helicopter. He says he was honored to serve our country for 8 years. He said he felt relaxed, uncertain of what to expect post-presidency, and ready to go home.

Obama and Labels
GW talks with Oprah about one of the sacrifices you make as president: the complete loss of anonymity. He says that he has zero desire to return to the limelight and we're never going to see him criticizing Obama. He loves our country, he says, and wants to see his successor succeed. Oprah discusses the negative labels put on him, and asks him which one was the worst, and he tells her that they all pretty much become the same. He says it was far harder to see his father be criticized back in his term than it was for GW himself. Oprah inquires about the attack on his intelligence, and he says it didn't bother him. It bothered his daughters and his wife, but he tells Oprah, "I knew what I was doing," and that, essentially, had he become caught up in the criticism he couldn't have done his job as a leader.

Quitting Alcohol
The book is called Decision Points, because it is about every major decision he made as president. His first and most important decision came at age 40 and it was to stop drinking. He said it was crowding out his affection for his wife and daughters and it was a breaking point for him to realize that he loved alcohol because he loved how it made him feel about himself. He recalls a story of being inebriated, and the way in which alcohol loosened up his tongue; alcohol made him a fool. Once, while drinking, he asked an older woman what sex is like after 50, which humiliated his family. He does joke that, while governor of Texas, the woman sent him a note after his own 50th birthday saying, "Well, what's the answer?"  Suffice it to say, GW believes that had he never quit drinking he never would have been president, nor could he have led and made the many decisions he did.

9/11
Upon finding out about the attacks, GW recalls intentionally choosing to continue the lesson he was doing in a second grade classroom in Florida. He says that he chose to remain, to leave calmly, because, "the nation would be in shock. The president could not be." He knew cameras were on him the entire time and his desire was to gather the facts and address his nation, now a country under attack, as a leader focused on how to proceed. He says that he had expected his presidency to be about domestic policy, but that he awoke on September 12, 2001 with a policy now focused on war.

Oprah asks GW about that day, and he says that he originally felt angry, a sense of, "How dare they!" But then he looked at the children and felt that his role was to protect them, to keep his cool and lead well. He wanted to go home to DC, and so he overrode everybody's advice--the Secret Service, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, etc--and went back home to DC. He explains that there was absolutely no way that he would give the enemy of seeing the Commander in Chief of the United States hiding out and addressing the nation from Omaha, Nebraska. Oprah asks if he was ever personally afraid, and he says that he never was. He was afraid for the nation, but he's fatalistic about his own death: when it's time to go, it's time to go.

Operation Iraqi Freedom
Oprah inquires about Iraq, saying that in his book GW states that upon there being no WMDs (weapons of mass destruction; basically, nuclear weapons) found in Iraq, it gave him a sickening feeling and that it still does. GW says that everyone thought he had WMDs, from the intelligence agencies to most everyone who later criticized his decision to go to war. He says that in the post-9/11 era, an enemy with WMDs who might use those to equip an enemy who might attack us was simply looked at completely differently than before 9/11, when we likely wouldn't have engaged in war. He says that you could not let a threat materialize, and Saddam Hussein was a threat. GW says that he still feels sick about there being no WMDs, but that when Hussein was removed a team did find that Hussein had amassed the equipment to make WMDs.

Basically, Bush's point is that had he known there were no WMDs he doesn't know if he would have declared war because he didn't have that luxury. However, in the book he says that people criticize you on the decisions you do make but often ignore the decisions you don't make. He feels the Iraq war was for the best still because had Hussein remained in power then today the world would be a less safe, less stable place. and 25 million Iraqis would still be under the thumb of a "brutal, ruthless dictator" and that his point is that the world's a better place with him gone.

Oprah asks if GW thinks he was misled about the WMDs, and he says no. He says that Hussein wanted everyone to think he had them, and deliberately chose to mislead the investigators searching for them. He lied to and convinced many in his own administration that he had WMDs. Oprah quotes the statistic that 4,421 of our troops are now dead because of the war and asks how heavily that weighs on him. GW says that it weighs very heavily because a decision he made affected people's lives in such a disruptive way. However, he feels that it would weigh more heavily on him if he had cared more about his own political standing than completing the mission he committed to. He tells the story in his book about standing before the wife and children of a soldier who died (presumably in Iraq), and the wife handed him a note that said, "John did his job. Now you do yours."

Hurricane Katrina
Oprah asks Bush about Katrina, and GW says that he made a mistake by not landing when he flew over the devastation left behind. At the time, he chose not to land because he knew that if he did, then the focus would shift from the delivery of resources to keeping him safe. He was concerned about facing criticism for disrupting the flow of resources, so he chose to only fly over. He sees in retrospect that the picture of him looking out the window and flying over gives the impression that he didn't care enough to land, but he says it tears him up because he cared very much.

Bush clarifies that the role in responding to emergencies is on the shoulders of the governor; when he was Governor of Texas he didn't want the federal government responding. He met with the governor of Louisiana, and he told the governor in person to give him the authority to send in federal troops. Oprah says that reading Decision Points helped her understand the situation, because most people don't understand the way local, state, and federal government works. Bush's hands were tied because he needed an executive order from the governor declaring an emergency and asking for help before he could step in. Upon asking her to declare the emergency, she said she needed 24 hours.

Oprah asks why, after sitting in a meeting with the mayor of New Orleans and the governor all bickering and pointing fingers and blaming one another, GW didn't basically say, "That's it, I'm taking over." Bush explains that, without the express permission of the governor, he was only allowed to send in unarmed troops. At the time he was hearing reports of rape, murder, and gunfire so he wasn't going to send in troops without the ability to defend themselves. Knowing now that many of those reports were exaggerated and untrue, he says had he known this then he would have sent them in.

The Racist Accusation
Oprah says that in the book, GW also writes that he didn't make the wrong decision, he simply didn't make the decision soon enough. He says he could have done a better job, but that what really irritated him was the accusation that he was stalling because he was a racist. Bush is visibly upset when Oprah recounts Kanye West's accusation that Bush didn't care about black people, and he says, "That really hurt." GW tells Oprah, "You can disagree with my politics but don't ever accuse me of being a racist."

Oprah asks if GW understands how him flying over and looking out the window at mostly poor Black people could lead to the perception that he is racist, and he says no. He can understand people thinking he just didn't care, but the accusation that it was because he was racist is absolutely disgusting and still gets him worked up to this day (and as he says this, he's very animated and his face is rather red). He says it's one thing to say, "He could have done a better job, but you don't call a man a racist." He says he feels his heart is confident on that matter.

Family Chat
Around the Bush family, GW is known as 43 and his father is known as 41 because they were the 43rd and 41st presidents, respectively. Oprah sits down at their family summer home, Walker's Point in Maine, where five generations of the Bush family have spent their summers. GW is with his mom and dad, and says that he simply adored his dad growing up. He loved his mom, too, but she was more of the enforcer so he liked to test her. He says he has his daddy's eyes and his mother's mouth, and Barbara jokes, "You should be so lucky." Father and son agree that spending time together in the Oval office after GW became president was incredibly powerful. GW says that his family loves each other and supports one another and that matters far more than political criticism from the outside.

Sarah Palin (and More Obama)
Oprah tells Bush, back in the studio, that his brother Jeb says he supports Sarah Palin's probable presidential candidacy in 2012. Oprah asks GW if he thinks Sarah Palin is "the one" for the Republican party. Bush says he's not a political pundit, and a lot will happen between now and the nomination. Oprah quips, "I'm not asking you to pundit, I'm just asking your opinion." GW quips right back, "You're asking me to wade back into the swamp!" Bush says he's keeping his opinions to himself and that's why he's not said anything about Obama, because the last thing people need is a former president out there opining about things. A current president's job is hard enough without everyone saying what he should be doing.

The Economy
Oprah talks about how Bush wrote the book intentionally so that we could be inside his head, seeing the decisions he had to make. He makes clear that he did not see the economic downturn coming. He did see the problems with the risky investments that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were making. He asked congress to reform it and they refused to. He jokes that it's important to keep that bit of history straight. Bush defends his decision to give taxpayer money to Wall Street, though it killed him to do so since he felt Wall Street caused the mess. He feels, however, that it was the right thing and that it stopped the country from going into an all out depression.

10 Years Ago
We see a clip of Oprah sitting down with GW 10 years ago, when he was last on her show in 2000 as a presidential hopeful. Oprah asks what Bush now would say to that man, and he says he'd tell himself that serving as president is a honor. He'd also tell him to never sell his soul for politics, to have a set of principles that are inviolable and to refuse compromise them for popularity's sake. Bush says he's grateful that he never did sell his soul in order to be popular. She asks if writing the book was difficult and he says that it kept him occupied. He jokes that many people didn't think he could read, let alone write. Oprah thanks him for his time and we're out.

Gospel Filter Review (GFR)


This was a great episode. It was really interesting for me to get insight into a president's mind. I can't imagine the pressure on a man who is considered to be one of the single greatest sources of influence on the entire world. It was also a poignant reminder, seeing how funny and relaxed and personable Bush is, that a president--or any incredibly famous person--is simply a person, just like us. Sure, few of us have ever even seen an estate like Walker's Point in person, let alone had the kind of family wealth to spend summers there. But George Walker Bush, regardless of public perception, regardless of how much of the criticism was "fair" or not, is a son, a husband, a father, and a child of God just like every other human being.

The biggest thing that I want to address is government and authority, and the Bible's teaching on both. The Bible tells us very, very clearly in Romans that we are to honor and respect governing authorities because God put them in that role. Here is that passage from Romans, italicized emphasis mine.

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer.  Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. 

[Romans 13:1-7 ESV]

Paul says emphatically that God is who we are honoring when we honor rulers in authority over us. We see in the Book of Daniel that we aren't supposed to sin against God by honoring a governor; in chapter 3 three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, refuse to bow down and worship a golden image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. They chose to disobey the king because they would be sinning against God if they obeyed his orders. Again, in chapter 6 with Daniel himself, he disobeyed a law from King Darius that he wasn't allowed to pray. Daniel needed to pray to and worship his God, and he wasn't going to obey a law that wouldn't allow him to do so.

In both cases, the men faced death. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were given the opportunity to stand before the king and deny God in order to save their lives, and they refused. Nubuchadnezzar was so into himself that he was outraged that they wouldn't worship him.

Nebuchadnezzar answered and said to them, “Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the golden image that I have set up? Now if you are ready when you hear the sound of the horn, pipe, lyre, trigon, harp, bagpipe, and every kind of music, to fall down and worship the image that I have made, well and good. But if you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?” 

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” 

[Daniel 3:14-18 ESV]

They were thrown into a furnace, literally into a burning fire. The fire was so hot that the guards outside the furnace died when they threw the three men in, yet here is one of my favorite things in the Bible:

Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.” 

Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the door of the burning fiery furnace; he declared, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and come here!” Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out from the fire. 

[Daniel 3:24-26 ESV]

Guess who was walking around with the men? Jesus! For those who don't know, King Darius reluctantly had Daniel thrown into a den of starved lions overnight, and yet the next morning he was basically snuggling with them like giant kittens. God doesn't always save people from death when they choose to honor him--sometimes people suffer and die for choosing Jesus over the government. But in the case of these four men, he did. Regardless, the point is that we honor Jesus by honoring the government unless the government's demand is that we dishonor Jesus.

This includes respect. Whether you felt like life ended or began when our presidential administration transitioned to President Obama, both Bush and Obama were put in place by God. We need to honor and respect Jesus in how we honor our government. There are many politicians I do not like nor do I inherently respect the decisions they make nor how they present themselves. However, God has chosen to allow those people to be in places of influence and I agree with President Bush--it is not my place to opine about how they could do their jobs better. I can pray for them and I can show my opinion when I vote.

Full disclosure: generally speaking, I lean conservative. That said, I personally am equally disgusted with both Democrats and Republicans, and quite frankly, if my choice was between Obama and Sarah Palin, I would choose to not vote. I cannot in good conscience vote for someone with policies like Obama's, namely his policies on abortion. Though she is pro-life, there are many, many reasons I could never with good conscience vote for Sarah Palin. I tell you this not to air my opinion and attempt to sway yours, but because the truth is that these things are just what I said: a matter of conscience. I know and respect Christians who did and will vote for Obama, and others who love Jesus and do support Sarah Palin. My aim is not to tear down either of them, nor any other politician. They are where they are by the grace of God, whether I like it or not.

Additionally, regardless of whether someone knows and loves Jesus, politicians were created by God in His image and just as I would never speak ill of a close friend because the Bible tells me to abstain from gossip I shouldn't run my mouth and criticize politicians. Fame and position does not remove nor exempt Biblical commands about building people up, praying for our enemies, and letting our speech be seasoned with grace. Yes, we can disagree with policies. We can privately cringe when we hate the direction a president leads our country. We can love or hate a decision, such as the one's Bush spoke of today (war in Iraq, Katrina, etc). But it is absolutely a sin to rip apart a president with our tongues. It was a sin of people to rip apart Bush, it is a sin for people to rip apart Obama, and it's a sin for people to rip apart Sarah Palin. And that's hard because I don't like Sarah Palin, nor how she chooses to conduct herself, but that does not give me the right to make declarations about her character.

Again, the issue here is submission to authority, namely government. Ultimately, we worship God in how we respond to government. I hate the way much of our tax money is spent, but we worship Jesus by paying our taxes. I do not agree with some of Obama's decisions, nor did I agree with all of Bush's policies, but to attack their character is not godly nor worshipful. I'm disgusted when Christians who say they represent Jesus bash those in leadership roles instead of praying for them and seeking how they can best honor God in the midst of their displeasure. The way Bush was treated, and now the way many are treating President Obama, is wrong, and Romans tells us that those people are bringing judgment on themselves.

So, pray for rulers. Ask Jesus to help you worship Him by honoring them when they frustrate and aggravate you, turning to him with why you're really upset. Let's be honest--the reason we detest authority is deeper than their decisions. Often the decisions of leaders, particularly our government, threaten things that matter to us. I'm frustrated when my local government makes decisions to basically punish people who have cars because we need our car and we don't have a lot of money so the value judgment of leaders to take more of our money because we drive a car threatens my idol of security. I'm less angry with the actual decision or decision makers and more upset that my desire to protect "our money" is being threatened. It comes down to my trust in Jesus, whether or not I believe that He'll provide and take care of us regardless of how much money the government takes from us. I can rant and rave against the people who enact the policies, but ultimately it's a heart issue, a worshiping Jesus issue.

This is heavy stuff, but it's practical. The Bible is practical! Honor the government. Submit to them. That includes how we think and talk about our leaders. We don't have to like them, we don't have to like their policies, but we are accountable to God and He is in control anyway! So, I hope that people don't just soften to President Bush because they understand him better, understand his decisions better, but because hearts turn toward Jesus and worship Him by honoring their former president... and their current one.




Up Tomorrow

Talk Show Hosts Together For The First Time

Episode 41 - World Exclusive: Oprah Talks to Michael Jackson's Mother and Children

Full disclosure: I just finished the (very taxing) post from last Friday, with the 200 men coming forward about their sexual abuse. I am very interested, personally, in this episode since it's with Michael Jackson's mother and children (and we get a teaser that Oprah will talk to Joe, too; I've always wondered about his relationship with Michael in the later years, since Michael spoke up as an adult about the horrible beatings he endured from his father as a child). There's no way I'm skipping this one. That said, I'll probably be a bit more brief than normal and try to hit on real highlights and not quite as many details as I think are necessitated by other episodes.

Katherine Jackson
In 1949, Katherine married Joe Jackson just outside of Gary, IN. Money was tight as they raised 9--NINE!--children in a tiny four room house with one bathroom. But that changed when five of their sons became The Jackson 5. Forty years ago they put down new roots at Hayvenhurst, an estate in Encino, CA. Oprah tells Katherine that she hoped that she'd marry Jackie Jackson and that Katherine would be her mother in law.

Oprah asks what Katherine's dreams were for her children, and Katherine says she hoped for good citizens, good fathers. Katherine wrote a book called Never Can Say Goodbye, filled with personal stories about and pictures of Michael. She feels Michael was misunderstood, and Oprah asks what Katherine thinks about Michael now. Katherine gets choked up and reminisces about holding him in her arms as a baby, and it pierces my heart. I'm pregnant with my first child, a son, and I ache for March of next year, when I will get to hold him and meet him. It's a poignant reminder that Michael Jackson, the Michael Jackson, was once a tiny baby in his mother's womb, held in her arms, nurtured and raised by her.

Being Ugly
Oprah says that Michael wouldn't allow her to show pictures of himself as a teenager. He insisted that he was ugly, and Katherine says he constantly would tell her how ugly he was. One day he simply went to get his nose done, because it was too big and it made him ugly. He didn't really let his mother come because he knew she'd try to stop him. Oprah gently transitions to asking about other operations, whether Katherine could have or tried to stop him, and Katherine says he only had additional procedures on his nose, with the exception of the vitiligo (the skin disorder where his naturally dark skin began looking "bleached" in spots where the melanin would wash out).

She says that under his clothes his skin was spotted, but he did lighten his arms and face, the parts that showed, so that he would look the same all over. Oprah says Michael told her he had two operations on his nose; Katherine says he had more than that, but that he was embarrassed and so he lied. Oprah reiterates the question, did Katherine feel like she could say, "Michael, enough." Katherine says yes, and that she did, but that Michael became addicted to the cosmetic surgery and did it anyway. Katherine even told the plastic surgeon to pretend to do work on Michael's nose when he would come in, not actually changing anything, but he didn't listen to her.

Lisa Marie
Katherine says that Michael's marrying Lisa Marie was a surprise, that she'd never met Lisa Marie, but that she believed he really did love her. Lisa Marie told Oprah that Michael loved his mother unconditionally and there's nothing he wouldn't have done for her. Katherine says yes, and she knew that, too.

June 25, 2009
Oprah asks about the day Michael died, and Katherine says it was the worst day of her life. Oprah asks how she found out, and is shocked when Katherine says that she had done field service that morning. Field service is when Jehovah's Witnesses go door to door to share about their beliefs; Oprah's shock is that Katherine still does so. Presumably the shock is that someone of her stature and wealth, and possibly age, would be involved in door to door proselytizing. Katherine received a call that someone had been taken from Michael's house, with their whole body covered, to the hospital. She was praying, but at that point they would only tell her to come because Michael was in the hospital. They didn't want to tell her he was dead until she got there.

Oprah asked who told her, and it was Dr. Conrad Murray, the man currently facing trial after pleading not guilty to manslaughter for providing Michael with drugs, who broke the news. Katherine apologizes for crying, and Oprah says she is sorry and touches Katherine to console her. Katherine says the children were there, and Paris just kept saying, "Daddy I can't make it without you. I want to go with you." Katherine was afraid that Paris would pass out, she was crying so hard. I can't imagine living through such horrible moments.

The Drug Use
Oprah mentions that the death was prescription overdose, and so Oprah asks Katherine if she was aware of Michael's addiction. Katherine says she learned of his painkiller addiction, as a result of burns when he was shooting a Pepsi ad, a long time after it began. She had known about that but not for a long time, and didn't know about the Propofol addiction (Propofol is part of the drug cocktail that killed him; this article explains why it's so horrible that he was addicted to it; the article was printed before the final autopsy that attributed his death to a prescription overdose, Propofol among the drugs). Katherine says she knew of the other children's intent to do an intervention, to try and get Michael into rehab, and Oprah asks if Katherine ever spoke to Michael about drug use. Katherine told Michael that she never wanted to hear that he had overdosed, that it will kill her too, but he lied and denied; he just kept repeating, "My own mother don't believe me."

Child Abuse Allegations
Katherine was in the courtroom every single day of Michael's 5 month trial in 2005. Katherine says she was so grateful that the jury believed the truth. She seems angry when she says that Michael loved children, and it was basically greed that caused other people to prey on his love of children with lies and false allegations. Oprah asks about the odd behavior, such as Michael showing up in pajamas, and Katherine says it's because he had fallen and was in the hospital and the judge threatened to keep all $3 million of Michael's bail money unless he came in, so Michael went straight from the hospital, in his pajamas, to the court house. Oprah asks if the trial changed him, and Katherine says that Michael used to trust everyone, perhaps too much, and after the trial he didn't trust anyone except his mother.

Dr. Conrad Murray
After a break, Oprah asks what Katherine would say to Dr. Conrad Murray. Katherine says she wants to know why he didn't take care of her child, why he left the room (you can read the alleged circumstances surrounding Michael's death on this wikipedia page), and why he gave the drugs to Michael. Oprah asks if Katherine murdered Michael; she says she doesn't want to say, because she can't say whether it was intentional or unintentional and that she has her thoughts but simply can't say.

Time & The Children
Oprah asks if time heals all wounds, and Katherine says no. Some days things are better, but then other days it feels like it just happened and she still can't talk about him without getting choked up. Oprah asks about the children, if Katherine approved of decisions such as having the children wear veils in public. Katherine says she didn't approve, because she knew how the public would perceive such a move, but it was actually Debbie Rowe, the children's biological mother, who had the idea and not Michael. The children, who went from normal grandma visits, were moved into Katherine's home the night Michael died. Oprah asks how that was, and Katherine says the worst moment was when, after Michael died, the hospital told the family they were free to go and Paris said, "Grandma, where are we [meaning her and her two brothers] going?"

The Children In Public
Though Michael homeschooled the children, Katherine felt it best, upon the children wanting to, to allow them to go to school. The oldest two, Prince and Paris, are now in school and the youngest, Blanket, is beginning to show interest. Katherine says he's very shy and not quite ready yet. Oprah inquires whether Katherine thinks it's good for the children to be allowed to be seen by the public, and Katherine says it's much healthier for them.

Oprah asks whether Katherine feels that Michael is still here with her, and Katherine says that she has her memories and that's the one thing no one can take away.

Joe Jackson
Oprah goes out to the backyard, and is sitting with Katherine and Joe. Oprah says she's surprised to see Joe, because the world thinks they're divorced. They say no. Oprah asks if Joe thinks Michael was afraid of him, and Joe says that he thinks Michael was afraid he'd do something wrong and Joe would chastise him. Joe insists that he "never beat Michael like the media tried to say"; I have to say that the look on Oprah's face at this point, though she's trying to keep it passive, sure doesn't look like she believes him. Ok, and my gut was right because Oprah follows this statement up with telling Joe that Michael himself told her, in a 1993 interview, that his father beat him. Joe changes his tone to say that he's glad Michael was raised in such a way that he was so well liked all over the world, that he could have been raised in such a way that he'd be dead from doing drugs or in jail like so many other people's kids.

[Is it too ironic to point out here that his kid is dead from doing drugs? Regardless of your view on spanking, it wouldn't seem that Joe's methods turned out much better for Michael if you use Joe's logic. I'm not saying I am using that logic, but Joe is, and it's both aggravating and sad to see him refuse to take responsibility for beating his young children.]

Joe: Beating The Children
Oprah gets frank, and says that she was beaten as a child because that was the culture. She asks Joe if that was the way he raised his children. Joe replies, "Beat or whipping?" To which Katherine says, "Same thing," and Oprah says, "It's the same thing when you have welts on your back!" Oprah points out that Joe is taking issue with the word "beat", and Joe is continually dodgy and so Oprah asks how he would describe it. Katherine says, "You might as well admit it. That's the way Black people raise their children." Joe remains silent, but Katherine says that Joe used a strap on the children.

Oprah asks Joe if he'd do anything differently, and he crosses his arms (very defensive posture) and says that he would use a strap if his children did something wrong, and reiterates that this is how he raised them and as a result his kids have never been in jail, that of nine kids, none have been in jail. Oprah asks if he regrets the strapping, and Joe says no, because his kids turned out well.

The Kids
Oprah meets the kids, including Michael's three, and a bunch of their cousins. We learn that Prince wants to direct and produce movies and Paris wants to be an actress. She plans to study and take it seriously, and says that she used to do improv with her dad. We find that all of the children are interested in show business, and they tell Oprah they grew up watching the tapes of their fathers / uncles as The Jackson 5.

Talking to Paris about school, Oprah asks what it's like when people learn about who they are, and Paris says it's great to be accepted for who she is. Oprah asks if Prince and Paris remember when they literally would go out in veils, and Prince says they knew why they were wearing the mask: so that when they went out without their dad, no one would know who they were. Paris says he tried to raise them to not know who he was, but it didn't really go so well. Oprah asks if they liked being behind the mask, and Paris says it wasn't always comfortable but she knew it was to protect her.

Oprah tells Paris that we all remember Paris speaking at the funeral, and that we were all very moved by it. She asks what her favorite memory of her father is, and Paris replies that it's very hard for her to try to have just one. Prince says his favorite was waking up early in the morning and walking the beach with his dad, and Paris says it was getting quality time with just her and her dad, without her two brothers there. Paris remembers one night when she and her dad sat on the roof of their home in Las Vegas, seeing the city lights, drinking soda and eating Snickers bars.

Oprah asks if their dad was strict, or if they could get away with anything, and Blanket pipes up, "He could get away with anything!" Michael would get away with things, but the kids couldn't get away with things. Paris recounts doing things from going to the art museum to playing tag to him getting the dog for them. Paris says her dad was the best cook ever, and Oprah's shock doesn't surprise Paris. She reiterates that he was just a really great dad, that he cooked breakfast for them a lot. Oprah asks what she misses the most, and Paris gets very, very somber and says, "Everything."

Oprah thanks the children for their time and the show ends.


Gospel Filter Review (GFR)
I wrote about Michael in the Lisa Marie Presley episode, which can be read about at that link. I have to be honest--my brain is just utter mush at this point. The only thing that I can't stop thinking about was the attitude of Joe Jackson that his use of physical discipline, which was described by Michael as being quite harsh, means his kids are ok because none of them went to jail. That's just wrong, and I'm sad for his heart that won't admit it was wrong and for his children who don't have a repentant father. There are many Christians who believe that spanking can be done in a Biblical and loving way; you can do your own internet research and / or read this book. Regardless of one's beliefs about what the Bible means when it says to use the rod on children, the accounts of how Joe beat his children was not Biblical.

One other thing that stands out is that many may wonder if Jehovah's Witnesses are considered to be Biblical Christians. Simply put, they are not. You can read a great outline of why not here; other questions stretching across a variety of topics regarding Jehovah's Witnesses and their beliefs can be found here. Basically, though, Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe that Jesus Christ is God and therefore they are not considered Christians. This puts them in the category of a pagan religion that is demonic and needs Jesus. I've written about false religions before and you can read those posts here.

Finally, I am saddened at the tragic loss for the entire Jackson family: son, father, brother, uncle. It's heartbreaking and I am saddened at the way our culture has cultivated the environment for men like Michael Jackson to live in such a way that they feel in need of drugs like he used. There was a GREAT sermon about this yesterday, but it won't be live on the website for a week. I'll try to remember to come back and post it, but basically the message is that Jesus tells us not to be anxious, to fear not, and he equips us to live trusting him. I'll post it when it's live but for tonight this sister is too tired to string together even the tiniest resemblance of a coherent thought.



Up Tomorrow

Former President Bush on His Most Difficult Decisions

Episode 40 - A 2-Day Oprah Show Event: 200 Men Who Were Molested Come Forward Part I

200 Men Who Were Sexually Abused


Oprah begins by saying that all 200 men in her studio audience are holding a picture of when they say they were first sexually abused. She's silent, and the camera pans over the men's faces and their pictures. The silence is devastating. Already I am crying and know this will be an incredibly difficult episode for me. I'm praying for Jesus' grace and wisdom, that I would discern His truth, reflect His heart toward these men, and that Jesus would get the glory in my covering this episode.

Oprah says these men are standing together to lift veil of shame and discuss how their abuse has changed their lives. Statistically, the estimates are that 1 in every 6 men are abused, and 90% of abusers target someone they know. In a montage, we learn that the men are from all walks of life, the age when their abuse began spans from very young to their teens, and that they were abused by men from various walks of life as well.

Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry, who spoke about his abuse last week (you can read about that episode here), is back on the show. After a recap of that episode, Oprah asks Tyler how he's feeling since then; he replies that he feels a lot lighter. Oprah says that their hope and prayer--she says they prayed before coming out to do the show--is that the men would be encouraged to talk because every time you talk it releases the shame a little more.

Learning Details
Oprah says that both she and Tyler were abused by multiple people and asks for the men to, by show of hands, tell if they were abused by multiple people. Many hands--I estimate at least a quarter, possibly more than a third, so 50-75--are immediately raised. Oprah tells us that backstage, women who love these men--primarily wives, mothers, partners, etc--are watching and learning about the details of their loved one's story for the first time. As we go to break, some of the men, in pre-recorded clips, say exactly what happened to them. From rape to being urinated on (one man, as a young boy, was forced to allow his perpetrator to urinate in his mouth), the details are graphic, dark, and devastating.

Grooming
After the break, we see more clips, this time with men talking about grooming; you can read more about grooming in Daniel's story in this post. Grooming is a process in which the abuser earns the trust of the child and manipulates them so that when the abuse begins, and as it escalates, the child will not speak up to anyone. Various methods, many overlapping, include making the child feel like it's his fault or that somehow he wants it, threatening the child, and, in particular a devastating method for boys, is using their body's physiological response to convince them that they not only like it (and for some boys it does feel good) but that they want it.


Patrick & Kevin
Identical twins thought that Catholic school would be a safe place. The twins were altar boys and in third grade, age eight, a priest pulled them out of class 5-7 times a week to torture and abuse them. Eventually the priest forced them to choose--he could abuse them, or they could abuse each other. They would choose each other to protect one another from the priest. But then it became worse--over the 13 years, other priests joined in, binding the boys and gang raping them.

The two men are now in the studio sitting down with Oprah and the audience gives them a standing ovation. Oprah explains that they are standing together with them because they have lived through that pain and shame, and understand the horror. Oprah says her hope from this show is that it will release the guilt, that it's absolutely not their fault, that it's always the abuser's fault.

After a break the twins tells us that the priest offered them money, and they used that money for drugs. They became addicted to the drugs, which made them dependent up on the priest. They say it finally stopped, years later (they would have been 22 when it stopped if it began at age 8 and went on for 13 years) because their father suspected something wasn't right and so he began taping phone conversations. He was the one who found out and was able to put an end to it.

Abuse Changes You
Oprah asks if the twins feel changed, and they say absolutely. She spoke with men who are abusers, and one said that every time he abused the little girl he was hurting it was like "little murders", meaning that he knew he was profoundly altering who this little girl was and would become. The twins say that this is true, that every day they cry inside wondering who could have been, who they might be now had the abuse never happened. The potential to be someone else was taken from them, and one brother says he doesn't trust people and is a very bitter man. Tyler Perry reiterates that he, too, for many years was a bitter man.

Take The Power Back
Tyler says the only way to change away from being a bitter man is to get your power back by forgiving. He says it's a process, but you must do it. Oprah clarifies that forgiveness does not in any way mean saying that what happened was ok. Instead, she says, "Forgiveness means I am not going to let you continue to hold the reigns over my life." She says a beautiful definition of forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different; it's accepting the past for what it was and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward. This garners applause from all of the men.

Chad
When he was 7, Chad's father began abusing him. He says that it seemed like it would happen as soon as his mother would leave the house, and it was the only time his father gave him any attention. It started with his father making him touch the older man's genitals, escalating to oral sex. His father once tried to sodomize him but it didn't work, so he would kiss him and force him to continue the oral sex. It continued for 7 years, happening up to 4 times a week. The disgust in his voice as he recalls the feeling of his father's facial hair when he could kiss him is visceral and literally makes me want to vomit because of my own memories of abuse at the hands of my biological father. He says it was difficult for him, as it is for many men, because it felt good to his body and it caused him to question his sexuality. He finally told his mom at age 17, but no one in his family believed him.

In the studio, Chad recounts to Oprah confronting his father about 6 months ago. He told his father he was there to talk about what had happened; the father at first refused to talk to him but he threatened to yell it through the neighborhood so his father finally sat down. He says he expressed how it's affected him because he doesn't trust; he struggles with feeling good enough, worthy of being loved. Oprah says that it's healthy adn normal for him to feel a certain sense of shame, that his father was disrespecting him as a human and as his son, so of course he would take that in and have issues.

Oprah inquires about where his mother was when this was happening; Chad says that she was once in the bed sleeping right next to them (the whole family was sharing a bed at a hotel en route home from vacation, so his sister was there, asleep, as well) as it was happening. Oprah asks if Chad thinks his mother knew, and he says he sometimes thinks she must have had an inclination. His behavior changed drastically; at 13, 14 he began drinking and doing drugs. When he spoke up at 17, he was drunk and so his mother and sister thought he was just trying to break up the family.

After a break, Oprah tells us that her producers spoke to Chad's father. He admitted to molesting Chad and at one point was going to come on the show but changed his mind. The decision was made (not because of Chad's father) that the show was going to go the direction of being for the abused, for them to free themselves, and not to be in any way about the molesters speaking out. Oprah asks if the fact that his father admits what he did means that his father understands what he did, and Chad says no, he doesn't. Also painful is the fact that his mother remains married to and with his mother.

Oprah asks Chad about his children, if they know his father. He says that they have been around his father but don't hug or touch him and are never alone with him. Sometimes they are alone with his mother but never his father, and Oprah asks him how he could ever trust his mother to do right by his children if she didn't do right by him. He doesn't have the chance to respond, and she asks him if he's angry. He says he is still angry, he just takes it out on the wrong people. Oprah tells him that she hopes today is a start for healing and we go to break.

The Shame
After a break, some of the men in clips talk about how the shame owned them. One man says that it became a part of him, that he was part of the darkness. Another says that a horrible crime was committed against him when he was under ten years old and the crime against him shouldn't cause him to feel ashamed.

In the studio Oprah introduces Dr. Howard Fradkin ; he specializes in working with male victims of sexual abuse and assault. He has worked with over 1,000 men. The men applaud him, but I'm just so sad that there have been 1,000 men for him to work with, plus the 200 men in room. Oprah asks how it is that we don't know about this, and one man says that from the instant he was abused he felt complicit and that it was his fault. Oprah bluntly asks if there is a connection between male physiology, the tendency in most boys for their penis to become erect when being abused, and the idea amongst men that they're not only complicit, but enjoying the abuse and that it's their fault.

The doctor says that little boys want attention and so perpetrators pick them out. Oprah wants the men to know that it is not their fault. The mind of the molester is looking for the child who is most vulnerable and so the one who is abused has absolutely no fault in the abuse. Oprah says many want to know why people go back, and the perpetrator tells so many lies--they say they'll never do the bad stuff again. They say this is nurturing you, good for you, because they love you. Tyler Perry points out that so many of those little boys don't know what love is, which sets them up to believe the false love offered by their perpetrator.

Closing Thoughts
Oprah tells us that next Friday, in part 2 of 2 of this episode, we'll hear from the women who have been watching. Additionally, Dr. Fradkin will help walk through some of the effects of the abuse, and they'll begin to deal with what after effects--what comes after speaking up, and how to prepare for the possible reactions.

Gospel Filter Review (GFR)
I have written extensively on sexual abuse, so it's definitely best to refer back to those. The original Tyler Perry episode is a great resource in particular. Additionally, I'm so glad that there was an aspect of forgiveness that Oprah totally got right--forgiveness is NOT saying that what someone has done to you when they sin against you is ok. She's still missing the biggest piece, though, which is that forgiveness is only something we can give someone else through what Jesus has done for us, so read these posts; this one is the best resource for what true forgiveness is; read the GFR under the Terry McMillan segment.

Today, the biggest thing that stands out to me is redeeming the notion of shame to a Biblical one. Oprah was right when she says that when a person sexually abuses you they are leveling a disrespect toward you that absolutely can cause you to take ownership of the shame of that horrible crime. However, to simply say, "It's not your fault," doesn't cleanse you. I've shared pieces of my story before on this blog, and the sexual abuse I endured was always clearly not my fault. As soon as I knew it was wrong I was told in the same breath that it wasn't my fault. And it's true--an infant cannot bring sexual abuse on themselves. Neither can an older child; that said, the point is that I knew there was no way I did anything to deserve what had happened to me.

Yet knowing I wasn't culpable did not fix me. Even when I was older and knew that the abuse was wrong, even in one instance where a different man was so desperate to get a glimpse of my naked lower half around age 8 that I finally relented, but forced him to give me money just to see me for those literal two seconds, it was no different. Whether I did nothing or manipulated the situation to my advantage, as is the case with the incident, I felt the same driving desire to escape that anything had ever happened at all. The effects of abuse manifest differently in people; some go the route of wallowing in the shame and becoming self-destructive. Another common path is to deny anything "bad" ever happened and to go to the extreme of trying to be perfect and successful. I was the latter sort, yet deep down I experienced just as much shame and desire to cleanse the filth attached to me as someone who turns to substance abuse and promiscuity.

So, then, what is shame? Shame affects who you are. It tells you that your worth and value are intrinsically linked to either something horrible you have done or something horrible that was done to you. Our desire to be cleansed leads us many directions, but ultimately we are powerless to wipe the shame off of ourselves. In his book Redemption: Freed By Jesus From The Idols We Worship And The Wounds We Carry, Pastor Mike Wilkerson writes (italicized emphases his; bold emphases mine):

If you put your hope in your mere will power... to keep distance between you and your shameful past, you'll be put to shame the moment you stumble and those false hopes fail you. If your hope lies in your ability to mask your wounds by acting strong, in the constant affirmation of another to make you feel worthy, or in your vigilance to avoid being harmed again, you'll inevitably be put to shame because you are not strong enough to save yourself, no one can ultimately secure your identity against your own deep doubts, and you'll never have a risk-free life as long as you live in a fallen world.

Your only true hope for lasting healing that shields you from shame is Jesus... he has already begun the healing. When you are in Christ, the old has already passed away and the new has already begun (II Corinthians 5:17). You are now a new creation in Christ. He has already touched you with his forgiveness and his healing power... he has already taken away your shame, adopting you into his family where you now belong with no more shame. 

What's more, he has sent his Spirit to live in you to complete the restoration. The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead has been sent to give you new life and reverse sin's effects, remaking you from the inside out [he footnotes these verses: 1 Corinthians 15:45; Romans 8:11; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Colossians 3:9-10; 2 Corinthians 3:18]. The Holy Spirit will not stop until you are perfected. In the end, you will be fully redeemed, fully healed, body and soul--not merely returned to "normal" (Whatever that is), but made glorious, fit for a new heaven and new earth in God's kingdom [he footnotes these verses here: Philippians 1:6; 1 John 3:2-3; Romans 8:23].

[Mike Wilkerson is a pastor at my church, Mars Hill Church in Seattle. His book is only available for pre-order until it comes out in January, but it's the source material we use in Redemption Groups, a ministry in which I am a leader, which is how I am quoting it.]

Great stuff, right? It hits on the truth--we cannot save ourselves. We cannot cleanse ourselves. The only true cleansing, the only real redemption, comes when we belong to Jesus Christ and He not only forgives us for our sin against Him, against a good, holy, and perfect God, but He also cleanses us of the sin perpetrated against us. Nothing else works. Believe me, I have tried. I tried to "take the power back", to quote Tyler Perry, by finding the goodness in my own heart to forgive my abusers, to be the bigger and better person. It never worked. The shame lingered, taunted me, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it was done. The doubts that maybe somehow I did deserve what happened, or believing the lie that God caused the abuse to happen to me so I could be strong and then that would make him look good, still ate away at me, corrupting my very soul. For me, it was evident in the over 200 extra pounds that I packed onto my body. I could tell everyone I had it all together, but one look at me screamed otherwise.

Another great point is that it does us no good to torture ourselves with that might have been, how "normal" we might have turned out. For one, it did happen. There is no undoing the abuse. It's absurd to think we can, and yet fantasizing about how we could be so different if it never had happened still taunts us as some alternate reality. It's a lie of the enemy, Satan, the devil, to keep us living in shame and in the past. Again, only Jesus cleanses, redeems, restores, and not just allows us to move forward but helps us have a right perspective on the past, one that includes seeking Him to forgive those who sinned against us, but that also doesn't expect us to "let go" or "get over" anything. Jesus doesn't force us to skip past the grief, slap on a smile, and say, "All better now. Jesus fixed me." He patiently, lovingly walks with us, grieves with us, feels the anger and sorrow and betrayal with us. He doesn't add to our shame by making us feel bad that we feel bad. Again, that's a tactic of Satan, not Jesus.

Lastly, I want to recommend a book to anyone who has either been abused, knows someone who has been abused (perhaps a spouse or close friend), or just wants to be better equipped to lovingly walk through abuse survivors. I haven't read this book yet, but I am friends with this couple and they love Jesus, know their Bible, and, most importantly, love others with Jesus' love. Their desire to see people who have been sexually abused set free is one that I think is only surpassed by Jesus' own heart.

The book is called Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault by Pastor Justin Holcomb and his wife, Lindsey Holcomb; again, they are personal friends, Justin is also a pastor at my church. They spend much time ministering to hurting people, and they don't even know I am plugging their book. Buy it anyway. In fact, I just pre-ordered it so that when it comes out and the next time I recommend it I have actually read it!


Finally, I want to end with this verse. I think nothing better expresses a heart freed from shame; additionally, no other verse makes it more clear that this is not something we do or earn, but is completely God's grace to us because He loves us.  My prayer is that every single one of those 200 men would pray this verse back to Jesus as worship, with hearts that are in love with Him and truly free from their bondage:

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 

2 Corinthians 3:18, ESV

Up Monday
World Exclusive: Oprah Talks to Michael Jackson's Mother and Children

Episode 39 - Teen Heartthrob Surprises

Teen Heartthrob Surprises

Today is a "once in a lifetime trip down teen idol lane" and I'm hoping to keep this post super short. Right off the bat Oprah starts talking about something I already knew I wanted to address in the Gospel Filter Review--I just didn't expect her to steal the words out of my mouth! She recounts the feeling of having our male crush on stage, how as a teenager we felt that he was "singing just for me" and that he was looking into our eyes.

Oprah's Teen Heartthrob
Oprah's crush was Jackie Jackson, one of the older brothers in the Jackson 5. She was sure she'd marry him but was crushed when he married someone else in 1974. Oprah tells us that she's had a ban on surprises (as in, her being surprised) since there was a Mary Tyler Moore surprise and she did "the ugly cry" but that her producers begged and convinced her to lift the ban for season 25, it being the final season and all. In a clip we see Oprah in her office the previous evening, planning the show with her producers, when none other than Jackie Jackson himself walks in and surprises her. Oprah goes nuts and says she wasn't dressed for him, so he tells her to change clothes and he'll take her across the street to get something to eat. Oprah thanks "god that Stedman is in Bermuda", stresses about not having her eyelashes or lipstick on, and goes out on her dream date with Jackie.

Jackie and Oprah spend two hours together, having dinner and talking about life. Jackie recounts memories of when they hit it big--they lived in a two bedroom house in Garry, Indiana, as a family of 10. Ten!--and Oprah tells him thank you for bringing her dreams full circle, from a 13-year-old girl on welfare to having dinner with her teen idol. Oprah brings Jackie into the studio, and jokes about eating and talking too much though she always tells Gayle to do neither. We learn that Jackie has a new single coming out soon called We Know What's Going On and we go to break.

Shaun Cassidy
In 1977, Cassidy hit it big with his single Da Doo Ron Ron. He starred in The Hardy Boys Mysteries and appeared on teen magazine covers, such as Tiger Beat, for almost two full consecutive years. Coming into the studio, women go crazy. Oprah says it's amazing that these "grown ass women" become their 13-year-old selves again when their teen idol enters the room. He tells Oprah he doesn't do this (make public appearances), and he has nothing to pitch, but he's here to thank Oprah for 25 years of what she's done.

Shaun says it's amazing to meet people now who are fully grown, and to see the 9-year-old emerge in their eyes. He feels it's more about that person than him, that it's about this amazing experience, and Oprah says that's beautiful. We then go to a clip of Shaun with his wife, Tracey, at their home in Los Angeles (on 2 acres of land--quite unusual, I'm sure!) with their small children. Tracey says he's just a family guy, not quite the superstar most women think of. Though he loves producing, Shaun says his dream is his family, his children and his wife. After a break Shaun performs a medley of his top hits, something he hasn't done publicly in about 30 years.

The Backstreet Boys
We see meet young women, Noelle and Meghan, who love The Backstreet Boys. Noelle is obsessed with them and has caused her best friend, Meghan, to love them as well. Meghan says that if Noelle had a chance to meet the BSB she'd "poo her pants." The girls think they are flying to Chicago in an attempt to find The Backstreet Boys biggest fan, unaware that the band is actually awaiting their arrival at the airport. She doesn't poo her pants, but Noelle pretty much freaks out and is completely speechless.

All five guys are in the studio, and the audience once again goes crazy. Kevin retired from the group, but all five are together and after a break they perform their #1 hit, I Want It That Way. I can't lie, I loved that song as a teen and remember feeling quite dreamy listening to it, hoping for someone to love me the way they sang about in their song. I usually fast forward through singing, but this is the first time I didn't. Still a good song :)

Peter Frampton
Oprah recounts Peter Frampton at the height of his fame, saying women wanted to be with him and men wanted to be him. She welcomes him into the studio and he performs... some song I am sure is very famous. He's a bit before my time :) After a break, Oprah sits down with him. Her executive producer, Sheri Salata, is a huge Peter Frampton fan and did not see the surprise coming. We get to see a great clip in which Sheri is leading the Monday morning staff meeting, during which time the producers discuss the plan for upcoming shows. Unbeknownst to Sheri, Frampton is backstage and when he comes out she goes crazy and I'm pretty sure she's crying, though it's hard to tell from the camera angle and lighting. He changes the lyrics of his classic, Baby I Love Your Ways, to Sheri I love your ways, and she's definitely crying then!

Oprah asks what it's like to be a rock star, and he says he's a musician now. He does concur with Oprah that there's nothing like having an entire stadium sing along with his songs. Upon being asked, he says he doesn't believe in the "r" word (retirement) and he plans to book Madison Square Garden when he's 100. Frampton closes out the show with Baby I Love Your Ways and we're done!

Gospel Filter Review
I wondered what I would review from this episode, and it's exactly what I thought it would be. As I said at the start, Oprah pretty much stole the words straight from my brain! I've written before about greatness, being inspired by talented people, but that's not where we're going today. Today we are dealing with idolatry, namely "teen idol"-atry.

To start, idolatry is loving anything or anyone more than God. It's pretty simple. It can be a person, it can be a feeling, it can be status, a material possession, a "high", you name it. If it's not Jesus, and we love it more than Him in that we chose it over worshipful, loving obedience to Jesus, then it's an idol.

I remember, as a teen, having various crushes. I love, love, loved the band Switchfoot. In fact, I was probably best known on my college campus for my first two years of college as the girl who loved Switchfoot. I was particularly obsessed with the bass player, Tim Foreman. I was quite certain that if I went to a concert, he'd see me and simply not be able to help himself--he'd fall in love with me and have to marry me. I met him first in a long line of autograph seekers. He signed my picture, thanked me, and moved on to the next person. But I thought that he just had seen too many girls--never mind the doubts eating at me about how much more beautiful so many of the other crazed fans were--and I'd have to try again.

My next experience was much more personal--I signed up to promote the band's upcoming local show on my college campus. As a result, they brought me over to meet them (it wasn't really back stage, but it was privileged access) and I was ecstatic. This was my big chance! Tim chatted with me a little and then told me that as a reward I could have any T-shirt from their merchandise table for free. I chose one exactly like this:

Tim picked it out for me, and I was flattered because he got a size smaller than my chubby body normally would fit into. But then that was it--they autographed a free picture of themselves, thanked me again, and I was on my way. No engagement, no marriage, not even a date or asking for any contact info.  That was actually when my obsession with the band waned, once reality hit and I realized that I would never be latched onto their fame and success, that I was a nobody and not meant to become a somebody via Switchfoot.

I tell this story because I am not here to condemn or hate on any woman who had--or girl who has--a current teen idol. I absolutely have been there. That said, God has allowed me to see, albeit imperfectly because I'm not Him, the state of my heart. We all want to matter. As women, we ache to be beautiful. We yearn to be loved, for a man to love us and give us significance. Particularly, we are prone to developing crushes on someone who is a "somebody", someone that is basically an impossibility, but if somehow we could be with them... then we'd know we have inherent worth. All the more so, then, if that somebody is a famous somebody, a somebody millions of other girls would want to be with and yet somehow we're the one--that one special girl--they chose.

This is a desire that is not necessarily evil, but it becomes evil when it's fulfilled by the wrong person. The only one meant to fill that void and give us worth is Jesus Christ. The scripture tells us that everything was created through Jesus (and by Him, too!), and that everything was created for Jesus.

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 
   Colossians 1:16

You were created through and for Jesus Christ. Only in surrender to Him will you find full meaning and worth. No matter how amazing a human man is--not the most incredible husband, not even the most incredibly godly and in love with Jesus husband--he will never, ever fulfill you. The ache to be seen and known is even filled by God--one of His names is El Roi, meaning "the God who sees me." He sees and knows each of us completely, even the ugliest sinful parts of us, and yet while we were still His enemies He died for us. Jesus offered the sacrifice of His innocent blood to unite us to God once and for all if we confess our sin, and that Jesus is Lord and we need His grace.

Remember how my little heart broke when my idol didn't deem me worthy of marriage? C.S. Lewis said it perfectly:

Idols always break the hearts of their worshippers.

I've learned this is true, whether my idol was Tim Foreman or food or money or being liked by other people... my heart always broke when, ultimately, my idol let me down no matter how much I enslaved myself to it.

We don't need teen idols. We need Jesus. I pray that every female who has idolized a famous male--here's talking to you, Justin Bieber fans--would know that Jesus as their ultimate satisfaction and everything and everyone else could be enjoyed as an act of worshiping Jesus without worshiping the thing. When Jesus is our identity and we rest in our worth as defined by Him, everything else fades and we're free to enjoy said things without enslaving ourselves to them. Praise God for that!


Up Tomorrow
A 2-Day Oprah Show Event: 200 Men Who Were Molested Come Forward

Episode 38 - Oprah & Gayle's Big Yosemite Camping Adventure, Part 2

Oprah & Gayle Go Camping, part 2


Since it's 11:47pm and I'm just now getting started (it's been a LOOOONG day) I'm going to do my very best to just be super brief.


We start off with a recap--bickering, Oprah on the phone with Stedman, Oprah delivering up the spirits (as in vodka)--and then in the studio Oprah and Gayle tell us that they loved their time seeing the "real" America, the beautiful scenery, etc.

Cooking 
Oprah and Gayle banter about cooking. Basically, Oprah's food is too fancy and Gayle doesn't cook. It's odd to hear Oprah consistently break into...what can best be described as a grown-up baby voice. It just doesn't fit the professional woman we're used to seeing on the stage. Oprah tells us she learned that, while camping, keep it simple. Grilling sea bass and rosemary potatoes over a camp fire isn't the easiest thing, no matter how delicious.

Camping Entertainment
Oprah says she loved not having any electricity--no TV, internet, etc. She pops up some popcorn for her neighbors. Shelton comes and tells the history of the Buffalo Soldiers and then Oprah has what appears to be her first ever s'more, only able to comment on how incredibly sweet it is and wondering if the kids will be up until next week :) I do have to say that when Oprah and Gayle retire for the night it's pretty funny because Gayle goes into their pop-up camper first, and cracks a joke about "just adding to those lesbian rumors." If you don't know, there are persistent rumors that Oprah and Gayle, friends for over 30 years, are secret lesbian lovers. Them making light of it was funny!

Waking Up... Only Not Really
So, I was looking forward to the funniness I saw in the previews, of Oprah and Gayle just as they woke up looking... well, like we all look when we first wake up in the morning, particularly while camping. But, alas, it's not meant to be because there's a fierce battle for the US Senate raging here in my state between Patty Murray and Dino Rossi and, despite the fact that the 5 o'clock news is only 30 minutes away, apparently Patty Murray picking up a few thousand votes in the race was worth interrupting Oprah. Pshaw. We got back to Oprah just as it went to commercial, so sorry about that. I'm sure it was funny!

Fly Fishing
After more bantering about the food (Oprah cooking, Gayle sitting and making requests that drive Oprah nutty), Oprah and Gayle go fishing. Oprah says that she has always wanted to try it since seeing Brad Pitt do it on A River Runs Through It. Oprah says it's her first time carrying a pole (though actually in fly fishing it's a rod, not a pole) and jokes about the sound her noisy waterproof pants make as her thighs rub together while walking. The ladies get a lesson from a couple who have been together 20 years, and Oprah is told she's a natural while Gayle talks about how she likes pools and pretty drinks with umbrellas in them. Oprah swears she'll go again, that she'll insert herself into one of Stedman's trips with his buddies, while Gayle... not so much.

Mule Riding
Did you know that the only way to make a mule is to breed a female horse and a male donkey? Or that mule poop is green because you are who you eat? We learned these lovely facts as Oprah and Gayle ride their mules up a trail with a real-life cowboy named J.R. Oprah and Gayle reminisce about how much they love the experience, the beauty of the park, the joy of the camping people (a different breed, they insist), etc. Both women say that they now want to see more of the our country's national parks.

Oprah closes out the show by thanking Shelton and the Yosemite staff and crew, with the final hope that more Black people will get out and go camping and, according to Gayle, white people, too, because "they're everywhere."

Gospel Filter Review
I'm not trying to wuss out, but nothing really grabbed me. You can refer back to my original post, part I from last Friday, about having a Biblical view of creation. Beyond that I'm thankful for the grace of God toward me in that this post only took me 45 minutes, exactly, to write and I can get some rest! Thank you, Jesus :)





Up Tomorrow
Teen Heartthrob Surprises