Closing Time

EDIT: For those interested, feel free to follow my "normal" blog here: Tami Hagglund

I did something crazy yesterday. I deleted the 30 episodes of Oprah lingering on my TiVo and I cancelled the season pass.

It was a really hard decision and it came after a lot of discussion with my husband and patience and discernment to do the right thing. Many factors fed into the decision. For one, after we moved, for the entire first week (so two weeks ago) I completely and absolutely forgot about the entire week of the show. Then, last week, it would come to mind once or twice, but I was so busy that it just simmered...well, not even on a back burner. It was simmering on a stove in someone else's house for all the inspiration I had to do an episode.

Late last week I sat down and scrolled through the episodes on my TiVo, looking for one to possibly do, and it hit me full on in the face--my passion for this had just waned. The major reason is that I'm in full-on nesting mode. I knew that having a baby might interfere with being able to do every episode, but something in my heart has just changed and it's not just Oprah--I've been watching much less TV because I can't sit still. But it hit me that if I'm this preoccupied and disinterested in entertainment, particularly this blog (which, despite being work, was still something I did because I love dissecting culture through the lens of the Gospel), right now then I sure don't see it getting much more of my energy once my little guy is born.

Not only will I be a full-time mama but I'm still the primary caretaker of our home, including cleaning, finances (bill paying and the like), and cooking. My husband is a rock star and helps as much as he can, but he works a lot and is in school full time so it's the best balance for us. Additionally, I do transcription and plan to try and still squeeze in about 15 hours a week doing that to make a little extra cash. Balancing all of that with my baby boy and my desire to be really active with him and get lots of exercise and get outdoors means that time will just be very limited. Even at only a few episodes a week this blog would require another 7-10 hours a week. That means I'd basically be trying to do a full-time job of  "other stuff" besides being a mama so this is what needs to go first.

The one other factor is that part of the reason it's time to move on is that I found that with each episode in the latter ones I've done there was very little new content. I had to continually refer to past episodes or I would have just been repeating myself. Combining that with the lack of passion for doing this and the time, plus needing to be a wife and mother first, it's time to bid this blog adieu.

There is one caveat--if it seems appropriate then I'll do a "special" from time to time. I'll try to keep my eyes out for intriguing episodes, and I'm sure I'll be tuning in myself for her last few since it's sort of iconic. Plus, hopefully by then I'll have a 2-1/2 month old who has chilled into a decent routine. We'll see :)

So that's that! I have peace about it, and hopefully it's not breaking too many hearts!