Episode 14 - Aging Beauty Cybill Shepherd, Dynasty's Linda Evans & Desperate Housewives' Teri Hatcher

Teri Hatcher

Recap

We start with Teri Hatcher, who made waves a few months ago when she posted pictures of herself on Facebook, fresh from bathing with no botox, no make-up, no nothing. Teri says she never meant to start the big deal that she did, but now she is glad she posted the pictures because there is a conversation that needs to be had. 

Her point is that everything out there is all about anti-aging, but we are aging. Culture is obsessed with beauty, and making everyone look so, so young. Teri takes a home video of herself, allowing us to see what she looks like upon waking at 5:23 am and then the transformation as she sits in the make-up chair on the Desperate Housewives set. For the record, she's an incredibly beautiful woman, regardless of age, even before the make-up and hair business transpires. Teri says that she loves looking pretty and glamorous, but she wants women to know the truth behind the glamour. She feels that if people can accept the truth, and real women can feel good about themselves and know what women like her really look like then we can enjoy the glamour without putting this unrealistic pressure on ourselves. 

Cybill Shepherd

Recap 

Cybill Shepherd became famous in the late 60s for her incredible beauty. Throughout her career she was iconic, lauded throughout Hollywood for being one of the most beautiful (and sought after) women in the world. She was, as Oprah calls her, the "it" girl. However, as she got older she began to have to deal with the fact that the very thing that made her so successful was fading and slipping away. She describes, however, feeling so old and wishing she could look like the girl on the cover of the magazine--as she walked by the Seventeen magazine pictures of herself on the cover. The images were retouched and she didn't feel that she looked like that same woman. She lived in a fantasy that she was this incredibly beautiful woman, but deep inside she never felt beautiful and so she projected the lie that she believed herself to be incredibly beautiful and powerful.

As she got older, in her early 50's she literally stopped looking in the mirror. As a beautiful woman, she couldn't escape the fact that her beauty was fading. She felt like a wrinkled old shoe that no one wanted to wear anymore, that she was disposable. Seeing a picture of herself as 17-year-old Miss Memphis pageant winner she says she wishes she could tell that girl that, first of all, she won't get far in the Miss America pageant, and that grandma was right about staying in the middle of the road, never veering too far to the left or the right.

Linda Evans

Recap

Best known for her portrayal of the beautiful and powerful Krystle Carrington on the 80s prime time soap Dynasty, Linda Evans thinks that many women would be shocked to know that she didn't know how to live up to the hype. She says that she never even though she was pretty, and that the outer shell had nothing to do with the truth of herself, something she didn't know then but knows now.Linda discusses feeling like she was nothing and life was over when her husband left her at 28 for a 15-year-old; then she and Oprah also talk about the obsession in America with blondes; Linda says that when MGM turned her from a brunette into a platinum blonde her career completely changed and she got attention. Oprah jokes that one of her dogs is blonde, and that dog gets way more attention than her other dogs. 

Oprah and Linda discuss Linda's time on Dynasty. She says that she didn't know how to live up to the hype, and when Dynasty was over she moved to a little one bedroom house she built on 70 acres in Rainier, WA, a rural town about an hour and a half south and slightly west of Seattle. Much of her family lives near her, and she says she's much happier. She talks about replacing husbands with her career, but then she was only as good as her ratings. She says that she had plastic surgery because she was dating a man 12 years younger and that's what she felt she had to do to feel better about herself. She says later that you can't erase time, but there is an idea that you can relieve the things you're critical about. What you really need to do, she says, is get rid of the criticism.

Discussion with All Three Women and End Cap w/ Beverly Johnson

Recap

Oprah has all three women come and discuss the fact that society pressures women to be beautiful yet it's all about only outer beauty. Teri says she feels that there is some level of obligation for the people marketing to women to tell women about there being more to beauty than just what we look like. The women say that no one can live up to the hype, not even the Hollywood beauties themselves. 

Beverly Johnson, the first African-American woman on the cover of Vogue, discusses what it's like to be 58 and on the cusp of 60. She felt defined by her beauty and had her mid-life crisis at 25 because she was terrified that her career was about to be over. She talks about being super-skinny and, from behind, being mistaken for a teenager and realizing that she isn't a teenager, so she shouldn't be trying to have the body of one.

Oprah thanks everyone, reminds everyone to watch Desperate Housewives, and we're out!

Gospel Filter Review

It's interesting to me that the Bible was right on when Solomon wrote that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Though these verses were penned thousands of years ago, they are absolutely applicable today. These verses are commonly known, and even those who aren't Christians may have heard them. 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

              Proverbs 31:30

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

              I Peter 3:3-4

First of all, God creates beauty. Throughout the Bible we see women who are beautiful and men who adore them. Sarah and Rebekah, in Genesis, immediately jump to mind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being beautiful. It's not that women can't do their hair and make-up or wear jewelry and cute clothes. The point is, as always, the heart. What is in woman's heart--does she love and worship God, and keep her beauty in the proper place? Why does she "get all dolled up"? Is she doing it to compete with other women? Does she dress immodestly, and conduct herself in a flirtatious manner, to attract sexual attention from men? Is she insecure about how God created her so she can't be seen without make-up, hair, clothes, etc, lest she feel ugly and thus bitter against God?

This is all absolutely relevant to today's Oprah, as each of these women described the insane pressure from Hollywood to focus on their outer beauty but little to no relevance was ever placed on their character. God is all about character--a woman who fears the Lord, thus conducting herself in manner that is kind, gentle, humble, loving, is to be praised and looked up to. The fact that each of the women on today's show struggled with the battle between how they looked and who they are is, I think, God's grace, because He never wants us to believe the lie that our worth is directly correlated to our looks.

Finally, since this episode was about  both beauty and age, there's something I want to address. Each of the women spoke of what they know now, what they've learned. There is a very common myth about age that the Bible absolutely debunks. First, let's see what scripture says.

Listen to your father who gave you life,
and do not despise your mother when she is old.

Buy truth, and do not sell it;
buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding.
The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice;
he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.
Let your father and mother be glad;
let her who bore you rejoice.

              Proverbs 23:22-25

There is this idea that older people automatically deserve respect simply for their age. To be fair, we should honor people and not assume that youth makes us any wiser or less capable of being used by God. That said, age does not inherently bring wisdom. The above verses come in the context of parents, and the Bible commands us to honor our mother and father. This doesn't always mean we do what they say, because if they don't love Jesus and what they want us to do doesn't align with God's Word, or if they cannot accept that we are grown and under other authority (husband, pastor, etc) and try to tell us what to do without being led by God then we can respectfully explain why we will not do what they ask us to do. But, all of that said, the point is that wisdom is something to be sought and purchased. Wisdom is purchased when we pursue God, seek the counsel of His Word, ask the Holy Spirit to show us what God's opinion is, and then to help us believe Him and change our hearts and minds to agree with Him. This means that young people can be wise, and many older people can still be fools. Again, I must reiterate that this doesn't give license to be anything other than humble, gentle, and God-fearing. However, no one--including ourselves--should ever assume that age automatically gives us wisdom nor superiority that is inaccessible to those younger than ourselves. 

Those are leading principles that I see in God's Word regarding age and beauty; feel free to share your thoughts. Anything I missed? Agree or disagree? 

Up Tomorrow

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling (that's exciting!)

Episode 13 - The Mom Who Fathered Her Own Children Plus: the Emmy Award Winning Cast of Modern Family

The Mom Who Fathered Her Own Children

Recap
We start with seeing a lesbian couple, Christine and Lisa, who are playing with their young twins, a little boy and little girl. They met online and clicked right away. They moved in together and within a year tried to get pregnant. The first two times failed, but the third time was successful, and last spring Eden and Lucas were born. Oprah drops the bombshell that Christine fathered the children. 

We learn that 10 years ago Christine was Chris, and at age 30 he realized he was transgender and chose to have a sex-change operation. He chose to freeze his sperm because he always wanted to eventually have kids. He was able to simulate pregnancy with hormones, and after the twins were born he could even breastfeed. Christine talks about the joy and relief of finally realizing she was transgender, since as a man she was very masculine, in terms of dating women, being in the Navy, a "frat boy", etc. She says it was very scary to make the transition but basically the best decision she ever made. Christine still liked girls, but felt that she was a woman, so she chose to become a female. After dating men and women post-sex change, she realized it was totally comfortable to her to be a lesbian.


Christine didn't tell Lisa that she had been a man right away, but once they started dating and really liked one another, she did tell Lisa. Lisa says that it only made her want to get to know Christine even better and that it didn't negatively affect her opinion of Christine at all. Christine's parents say that they felt that Christine was still their child, still the same heart and soul, and it didn't change their opinion of her. Lisa says her mother is completely accepting of Christine, whereas her father, while he loves Christine, is one whom she has to agree to disagree with. Lisa says that he has a certain philosophy that he'll never change; she says she doesn't need his approval, she just needs his love.


Christine says later that when she was dating both men and women she stopped looking at gender and focused on who the person was, that their gender didn't matter. She and Lisa are here on the Oprah show to help America see that their just like any other family. And speaking of "modern" families...


Modern Family

Recap
As Oprah says, this show profoundly makes the point that we're all more alike than we are different, ranging across sexual preference, gender, races, etc. We get to see the cast be super excited and proud of their funny show. The segment is filled with laughs and it seems pretty clear that the cast actually loves and enjoys one another. The show is very funny and you can see why--the cast just plays off of one another so well. And, in case anyone doesn't know this, Eric Stonestreet, who plays the gay character Cam, is straight in real life and jokes about being "openly straight".

Ali Wentworth, a correspondent for Oprah's show, goes around behind the scenes with the cast. We see the crazy huge closet, joking between characters, more footage of the super adorable twins who play Lily, and the actor who plays Luke cracking a joke about whether Ali, who looks to be in her 40s, is "interested" in him when she asks if any of the kids are dating.

When we come back, one of the writers says that they steal liberally from their wives and children, and that they roll that into the characters they have created and the talents of the actors. Oprah says that she noticed that there are no Black friends on the show, and she's willing to move into the neighborhood and drop in to see what's cooking in the Dunphy household.

At the very end of the show, we get to see a short clip of a couple from 1995 who decided to adopt a set of twins from India. Oprah tricked them by having the brother of the wife pretend to be in India with the babies and the feed cut out... but, alas, he was actually backstage! It was pretty sweet and precious to see the mom crying and them meeting their babies for first time. We see the twins, who are now almost 16, and hear that the extended family includes four adopted African American cousins and a child adopted from Korea. Oprah celebrates this other "modern" family and we're out!

Gospel Filter Review

Though the Modern Family bit was fun, and there were themes I could look at redeeming, I think the place to set up camp is the first half of the show, regarding themes of homosexuality and transgender people (though Modern Family does prominently feature a gay company). These topics are always difficult for me. I have to pray, pray, and pray some more that the Holy Spirit helps me to accurately portray God's heart through the truth of the Scriptures. The moment you say it's sin to do / be something, particularly regarding homosexuality and transgender issues, in America people are quick to say that you are filled with hate. I am not filled with hate toward Lisa and Christine. Additionally, I just saw a series of tweets yesterday about a 13-year-old boy who was bullied repeatedly for being gay and so he hanged himself and died. My heart grieves for his suffering, for his parents' suffering at the painful life and now loss of their son, for the sin committed by the bullies, and for all who knew and loved this boy and now he is dead. Similarly I am sad for Christine that she struggled so much with herself and that it was so painful for her to struggle with who she was as a person. 

When I initially wrote about homosexuality earlier this season, I hope it was very clear that the ultimate issue is that a person meets Jesus, receives salvation, and then any changes to their life as a result of repenting of sin comes out of worshiping Him. The goal is not to make someone stop being gay, nor to make someone stop being transgender, so that then they'll accept Jesus. The Bible deals with a similar issue when Paul and Barnabas have to deal with the sinful and wrong teaching  a group called the Judaizers in Acts 15. They taught that anyone who wanted to receive Jesus and become a Christian must first, if they were a Gentile, become circumsised and essentially become a Jew; only after that could they then become a Christian. Many who had become Christians, primarily Jews who had converted, were believing this teaching. Acts 15 says that the apostles (so, Jesus' 12 disciples, minus Judas Iscariot) were gathered to try and decide if this was something Jesus taught. Paul declares to them that God cleanses the hearts of all who become Christians by faith, and that it is only grace that will save anyone. Only faith and grace--not cleaning ourselves up and stopping a sinful act, but Jesus saving us and bringing our lives into alignment with Him as He wills once He is our Lord.

So, then, the primary concern is not that Lisa is a lesbian and that Christine is a man. The goal is not for Lisa to start liking men and for Christine to reverse the sex change. The goal is that they would know that Jesus Christ loves them, died for all of their sin, not just those relating to sexual preference, identity, and gender choice, and that He wants to restore them to relationship with the Father through forgiveness of sin if they will receive His free gift of grace. That's the goal.

That said, the Bible is very clear that God makes people male and female (Genesis 1:27) and that He doesn't make mistakes in someone's gender because He knits us together in our mother's womb according to His will and however He chooses to make us, including our gender, is wonderful and should be regarded with reverent awe concerning His decision for us (Psalm 139:13&14). A combination of our own sinful hearts that hate the things of God (Jeremiah 17:9) and enemy of God, Satan, seeking to convince humanity of lies about who we are and what is good and acceptable before God (John 8:44) make a lethal duo in which a person chooses to believe that they were made gay, or that they are a woman trapped in a man's body, etc.  

So, ultimately I pray for Lisa and Christine, and all gay and transgender people, plus those who are straight but believe that to be gay and transgender is right and good and should be absolutely accepted. I pray that they would know God loves them, and wants their hearts. I pray that Christians would reflect Jesus, be honest about the truth of His word, calling sin for what it is--sin--but always caring more about the person Jesus died for than trying to hunt out their sin and make them change. Ultimately, I pray that anyone reading this would see God's heart accurately reflected, that this would represent the truth of His character according to His Word. I pray those who don't know Christ would hear truth in love and that Christians would repent if they have been trying to be God and focusing on people's sin more than the fact that they need Jesus.


Up Tomorrow
Aging beauties Cybill Shepher, Linda Evans, and Teri Hatcher

Episode 12 - Jenny McCarthy: After the Big Break Up Plus Will Author Terry McMillan Forgive Her Gay Ex-husband?

Jenny McCarthy 

Recap
Jenny and Oprah dive into the break-up with Jim Carrey. She says that the famous tweet, in which Jim announced their ended relationship to the world, was one she knew about and that they decided together to put out there. They have an interesting conversation about how, in essence, when there is a break-up it's easy to blame the other person but you need to own how usually it's equally your fault. Oprah asks Jenny if she thought it was going to be forever, and this turns into telling the "young girls listening" to keep their stuff (Jenny feels her "higher self" knew it wasn't forever because she never sold her house when she moved in with Jim) and to "make your own money." This is met with loud cheers and applause from the audience. Believe you me, I'ma be touching on that in the GFR (Gospel Filter Review) at the end!!

After the break, Jenny tells us that she knew it was over when it wasn't fun anymore. She felt that when it was over she felt that she needed to learn from the relationship but not stay in it because the lessons were there to glean but the relationship was over. She says she felt she needed a lover to have love in her life, but came out realizing that she is the love of her life. She and Oprah then discuss the fact that no one can complete you and only you can complete yourself; Jenny says she is the full sundae and anyone else in her life is whipped cream.

Pause!!
Later, Jenny and Oprah discuss how Jenny ended up posing for Playboy. She tells this comical story about some... sensitive bits of hers and how she was treated standing there naked. Everyone was rolling and laughing and she's quite the story teller. But all I could think about was how sad that this woman created in God's image, so precious in his sight, is making light of being literally naked and judged and criticized, like it's just pure hilarity. So sad. And it was heartbreaking to hear her say that her heavily Catholic mother told her that after all of the work Jenny has done for raising awareness about autism (her son is autistic and she's been a force for the cause) that it's no big deal that she showed her bare butt. I pray that Jenny would know that she is precious to God, that it disgusts Him that anyone (but men especially) would reduce her to the sum of her naked body parts, and while He hates the sin of her willfully putting her naked body out there He loves her and beckons her to Himself much as He did with promiscuous woman after promiscuous woman in the Bible (Rahab, Mary, and the woman at the well to name a few).  I pray that Jenny would know God's love for her as a perfect Father; she did mention no longer wanting to be a sex object but taking care of her body because she enjoys working out and feeling good and enjoys pretty clothes, which is healthier than trying to be overly sexed, but I still pray that she'd know full redemption of being beautiful in God's sight.

Gospel Filter Review
There are so many directions I could go, but the biggest thing that stands out to me is the concept of marriage, dating, and what the purpose of relationships is. I touched on a piece of this in yesterday's GFR when I wrote about the roles of men and women in a marriage. There is much to redeem in Jenny's view of relationships, as she holds the world's (and by world, I mean the things humanity comes up with that has nothing to do with God's opinion) opinion that relationships are about us. See, the world teaches that you need to find someone who makes you happy, and you need to stay in the relationship as long as you are happy (remember how Jenny had to get out when it wasn't fun anymore?), and then the purpose of the relationship after you break up was to teach you what you need that's better in your next relationship.

This is absolutely not God's opinion. The Bible teaches that romantic relationships are meant to lead to marriage; you don't find dating in the Bible. Marriage between a husband and wife is ordained by God to represent Christ's marriage to His bride, the church, in heaven (Revelation 19:6-9). That marriage will last in eternity and God's intent for earthly marriage is that it will last until death. Relationships in general and marriage ultimately were never meant to be something that is all about filling a void in ourselves. Jesus is meant to be our first love as members of His church body, His bride (Revelation 2:4), and marriage is meant to glorify Him. But marriage is really, really hard. Anytime you take two sinners, two humans who natural proclivity is to seek out their own desires, and you put them together, then there will be very difficult times (James 4:1&2).

But you don't get to quit when it's not fun. That's when you pray, ask the Holy Spirit to show you your own sin, and you repent to your spouse. You also pray for your spouse, asking the Holy Spirit to lead and guide them and show them their sin; at the same time, you love them and esteem them and honor and respect them whether they're changing the way you would hope or not. There are times when God will lead you to lovingly talk to your spouse about something on their part that's bothering you. It should be bathed in prayer, loving, gentle, and respectful all while being honest. God's kindness is meant to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4), and carrying around a holy stick and whacking your spouse over the head, no matter how much you prayed about it, is never going to soften their heart.

The truth is, all sin is committed first and foremost against God (Psalm 51:4). Our hearts should always grieve the offense against God far more than any offense against us. We can ask Jesus to help us forgive our spouse, and pray that they lean on Jesus to forgive us when we sin. As the church, our wedding dress is soiled and dirty. We are sinners and we constantly abandon Jesus, commit adultery by lusting (and acting out on that lust) after idols, hating Him and loving ourselves. Yet Jesus never gives up on us, never asks God for a divine divorce. He continually gives Himself, pursues us, and desires our repentance and full restoration to Himself because we are His precious bride and he loves us in spite of us. The Book of Hosea is both a heartbreaking and beautiful picture of God's passionate pursuit of His bride, the church, no matter how much she plays the harlot and chooses the very thing that destroys her and makes her miserable and broken.

So we can ask Jesus to make us like Himself, to fill us with the same Holy Spirit that empowered Him to endure death on the cross for our sin, so that we can love our spouse and reflect to them the powerful grace that Jesus gives us. And, as always, we cannot give grace we haven't received, so we must daily ask Jesus to show us our sin, to humble us, asking Him for the sweet, good, and precious gifts of conviction and repentance, so that we can be first and foremost worshipers of God and not hunters of sin and gatherers of evidence against the spouse that God has called us to live our lives with. We need to be filled with Jesus, overflowing Jesus to the people around us, because if we think we are our own greatest gift then life will not only be filled with rottenness, but our eternity will be spent paying the price for our sins and agonizing over the life we wasted that could have been lived for Jesus, now separate from Him for eternity.

Terry McMillan

Recap
Terry, a very successful author whose movies were blockbusters, met a Jamaican man named who was much younger (23 years younger) and after what was a whirlwind sexual romance that turned into him moving in three years later they married. He was the inspiration for the book (and movie) How Stella Got Her Groove Back After six years of marriage he told her that he was gay. They had a very public, angry war of words. Terry accused him of only being after her money, while he maintained that he only wanted money after she publicly attacked his character. While he initially told her he never acted on the feelings, he admitted on a previous Oprah show in 2005, with Terry when they were still "at war", that he felt he had to find out if his curiosity was actual homosexuality and he did engage in sexual intercourse while he was still married to Terry. We find that she was angry both that he was gay and that he was cheating on her. After that show she sued him for $40 million for emotional distress and ruining her reputation; she says later she sued because she wanted to puncture the lies that were told about her. He had no money so that wasn't the point. For the record, despite signing a pre-nup he sued for spousal support, but was only awarded $26,000 after a court battle.

Now, they're both here again. Terry says she was very angry that her life was turned to a public circus, and that she had come on Oprah's show then to show how much pain living a double life causes. Terry says that she realizes that she had owned the anger such that it took over and nothing else (beauty, etc) could get in. She realized that she was sabotaging her happiness and her joy and it had nothing to do with the other person; the anger and bitterness was an emotional termite that was eating her inside out.

Jonathan now describes the regret for how things went and how after that he tries now to be a better person, that he's learned from the process. He says that he really did love her, but that once he realized he was gay (he was in deep denial) things turned. Both he and Terry say that they both wish they wouldn't have sued one another and that they wouldn't have allowed the anger to control them. Jonathan says that he's finally now able to get back to happy... and, voila!, we find out that Terry McMillan's latest book is called Getting to Happy. Terry says she wrote the book because she realized that she had to let it all go, and that's how she got to get back to happy. She also clarifies that her anger wasn't that Jonathan was gay or that she has a problem with gay people; she was angry that she was lied to and betrayed.

Finally, Terry talks about how she wanted to hate Jonathan forever, because she felt that the more she hated him the more he would suffer. Oprah describes once, many years ago, holding this belief and then seeing the woman she was so angry at on Michigan Avenue, laughing and headed into a Tiffany Store. She realized that she was all in angry knots but the person she was angry with was fine. They end by Terry saying she forgave Jonathan, that she let it all go and that was forgiveness.

Gospel Filter Review
The theme of forgiveness is what hit me from this segment. Terry spoke much about forgiveness, how she "let it all go". That is the worldly definition of forgiveness. People think that if they let go then that will help them not be angry, but this typically leaves them somewhere between the common grace of God that does help root out bitterness and living in pure denial because we selfishly just want to feel better. Forgiveness is trusting God that He will bring justice to the sin committed against you. The person will either pay for their sin eternally in hell, or they'll receive the grace and joy of Jesus receiving punishment for their sin on the cross. Forgiveness is not, however, just "letting go", forgetting, saying, "It's ok now". It's not.

This is very personal but relevant. I was sexually abused by my biological father from possibly as early as a few days old until I was age 9, with a short break for two years, from ages 5-7, due to complicated circumstances in which he was under suspicion from the authorities and my parents (my mom and stepdad). I haven't seen him since I was at his trial when I was 11 and he was sentenced to 5 years (another long, tragic story of the failure of our justice system) in prison. He never admitted guilt. He has never tried to find me, to my knowledge, and I have never sought him out, either. My younger brother saw him once a few years ago, and still he maintained that he never touched me and I made it all up. I have forgiven him, and have peace that, though I'm still dealing with the fallout of such egregious sin, my heavenly Father is righteous and just and He will bring justice.

Some well intending Christians have asked me why I don't hunt him down, tell him all about how Jesus has changed me and how he needs Jesus, too. They say that it can't be real forgiveness if I intentionally keep my distance from him and don't tell him about Jesus. They are absolutely wrong and if I were to reply, "Get behind me, Satan!" I don't think God would disagree. Forgiveness is not forgetting. I cannot forget what was done to me, the betrayal and damage brought to my innocent young self (I was a sinner, but did not deserve what happened to me). I cannot pretend it never happened and it is absolutely not ok that he harmed me that way. And, though I have forgiven, sometimes I must forgive again because I remember something new, or realize something I never saw before about the depth of the betrayal, or it just hits me again. I'll be 18 weeks pregnant tomorrow, with my first baby, and the desire to love and protect my sweet little MiniMoose shows me anew how wrong and evil what my biological father did to me really was.

Save for the miracle of Jesus saving the man and him seeking my forgiveness, you'll never see me on Oprah's stage holding his hand and saying it's all ok now; honestly, even if he received Jesus and truly repented, that still may not happen. Forgiveness for egregious sins (as in, abuse, torture, physical harm, etc; not someone gossiped about you one time, though that's sin, too, but the more deeply harmful sins) does not mean you have to trust the person. Even if my biological father became so on fire for Jesus that thousands of people met Jesus and lit up with the flames of the Holy Spirit, I would likely never be alone in a room with him, nor would he ever, ever be alone with any of my children unless my husband and I were both keeping vigilant watch.  This wouldn't preclude relationship, but it would protect me and my children from someone who was abusive and harmful and cannot be trusted. And if he never does receive Jesus, though I do pray for him that he will, then I will never see the man whom God used to help give me life and that is ok.

I'll end with this--tragically, my biological father was accused once before me of sexually abusing a son of his. His mother knew about it, but he swore he didn't do it and even though she knew in her heart that he did, she said she was a Christian and she must forgive him. She had the unbiblical perspective that forgiveness is forgetting, so she never said a word when he met and married my mother. Never did she warn my mother, and so my mother had no reason to ever suspect that the first almost 5 years of my life were filled with horrible abuse against my body, not to mention the emotional manipulation (abuse) and mental/psychological abuse of the lies that he told to keep me believing that it was normal and ok and something everyone does and no one talks about. Apart from the sexual harm, the most painful part for me as a child was trying to understand why I couldn't love my daddy anymore and being so convinced by him that what he did was right that I couldn't understand why the bad touching was wrong, let alone understanding the difference between what was ok, or "good" touch, and what wasn't. Granted, had my grandmother told my mom then I may never have been born, so I know that God uses even sin for good because I know it's no mistake that I exist. But the choice to hold the world's definition of forgiveness was a sin on my grandmother's part that brought great harm into my life and I cannot imagine the guilt she must have suffered when the truth came into the light; not only that, but as a result she lost all contact with my brother and I, which I am certain compounded her suffering.

Choose the Bible. Don't let the world tell you what to believe. Sin is real and has real consequences, even something so seemingly small as "forgive and forget". Align your heart and beliefs with what God says. Ask Him what is true, to make you believe it, and to give you the wisdom and strength and courage to endure in believing it and living it out. I pray that Terry McMillan and her ex-husband both meet Jesus and can experience true forgiveness and reconciliation.

For a great resource on what forgiveness is and is not, please see this sermon clip from Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church.

Up Tomorrow
The Mom Who Fathered Her Own Children Plus: the Emmy Award Winning Cast of Modern Family

Episode 11 - Celebrities Take on Their Dream Jobs: Tony Danza, Serena Williams, & Angie Harmon

If this looks shorter, it's because it sure is! I'm going to make a very, very concerted effort to drastically improve my recaps. I want to do the show justice, so that you get a well-rounded recap. That said, I have a feeling many people click on a post, see the sheer length, and either barely skim or simply skip out. I'm hoping that shorter, more concise recaps will be a good thing!


Tony Danza

Recap
He originally went to school to be a teacher; he then was discovered as a boxer, which translated into 30 years of show business success, most notably on the hit sitcom Who's The Boss?. He decided, though, that he wanted to try going back and being a teacher, so he took a job as a tenth grade English teacher in Philadelphia. He talks about how incredibly difficult it was, but that at the end of the day he learned an incredible amount from the students.

Danza's journey was documented for an A&E reality show called Teach. He insists it's not a stunt, that he actually cares about trying to be a part of making the education system better. He was planning to become a teacher, mentioned it to a TV producer friend, and the next thing he knew A&E was on board to make a reality show of it. It was cool to see the clip roll of many of his students and some fellow educators speaking of what a great job he did. It was honest--he was rough at first, but grew better. One girl even said that she never had a dad so Mr. Danza was a pretty important part of her life. Danza seemed very humbled, and said  this was why he did it, and that he's not trying to look good and it's hard to even see that part out on television no matter how much it blesses him to hear. Cool stuff.

Serena Williams

Recap
Despite being incredibly successful on the tennis court, both in terms of winning titles and making more prize money than any other female athlete on the planet, Serena's dream job? Doing nails. She enrolled herself in school and chats with Oprah in the Harpo spa while giving the talk show queen a pedicure. One thing that stuck out to me was their discussion about men, in which Serena describes wanting to find love, feeling like she's "a catch", but not being able to find a good man. Oprah explains that men want to feel needed and respected, and it takes a very special man to be with a woman who is as powerful and as successful as Serena. Oprah tells Serena she is carrying around a huge light, and that she shouldn't dim herself. She tells her to own her own power (right off the cover of the latest Oprah mag, no less), that it's good to be completely full of yourself so that your cup runneth over to others. But, Oprah says not to do this in an arrogant way. I will sure hit this up on the gospel filter review!

When Serena comes out into the studio after the pedicure clip, I can't help but notice that she is so incredibly gorgeous! She's seriously an incredibly beautiful woman. After some banter about Oprah not giving Serena a (money) tip, but she insists that Oprah gave her the best tip with owning her own power. We find out that Serena's ultimate dream is to have a spa in every city to incorporate her own skin care line into her salons. And, yay for the audience, after announcing her partnership with O.P.I., Serena gives them the entire O.P.I. fall collection along with nail care products. Lovely.

Angie Harmon

Recap
Last is Angie Harmon, whose dream job is to be a homicide detective. Her exact words were, "Sign me up for the blood and guts."  She attends National Forensic Academy in Tennessee where she dusts for fingerprints, plays with human blood to examine the blood spatter (hello, Dexter), digs for a fake human body in the woods, and even attends an autopsy at the morgue. I just had to note the irony that she was pretending to dig up a human body which didn't faze her but she freaked out over a bug. Funny business. And... just as I finished typing that, Oprah notes the same thing. Great minds :)

Angie explains that the reason this work intrigues her is because it's like a puzzle. She says it's the most important kind of puzzle, because it's a human life that was taken probably in a violent way and solving this puzzle serves the family of the victim. After the break we see the morgue visit, and it was heartbreaking both to see what was once a human reduced to hundreds of small containers holding each body part, labeled with a series of letters and numbers (one did say "hand") was well as seeing the bones of a baby that was killed in a child abuse case. I applaud people who can do the work to help bring human justice to the perpetrators of crimes by doing something like showing how a baby had fractured ribs that never properly healed; the person in this case is in jail for a long time, praise God. However, I could hardly watch this part and it took every ounce of asking the Spirit for strength to not fast forward through it.

One cute lighter note was Angie noting how much she adores her three daughters and loves her husband. She broke into tears describing how much she loves her daughter, and that she considered leaving the show business, wanting to move out of LA to be a "full-time mommy". She did leave LA and is now on the show Rizzoli & Isles. I'm a little confused because the show appears to tape in LA though her family doesn't live in LA so I'm not sure how that works, but she did tell Oprah she's very grateful to have made the choice to move her family out of the city.

There is a blip at the end with a few other who got their big career start on Oprah. I did watch this, but there isn't a lot to say other than there are some people thanking Oprah for their career break and updating us on how successful they are now. I already a great place to dig in for the Gospel filter review, so we're going to stick to that!

Gospel Filter Review

The two episodes from last week on Monday and Friday were all about education, and I feel they do a pretty thorough job of digging into that subject. Ergo, there's not a big piece to dig into with Mr. Tony Danza, other than kudos to him and I'm glad his experience ultimately went well. I also enjoyed Angie Harmon's tenderness with her husband and children, and confess outright that I have the opportunity to dig into whether mom's should work or not; I'm willfully choosing to shelve that, trusting the Holy Spirit to bring the opportunity at another time this season, because what I do feel led to dig into is pretty long and meaty and I want to do it justice. The working mother stuff would be pretty long and meaty, too, so to do both justice I'm trusting Jesus for another chance at that later!

The piece from Serena Williams' segment that struck me was Oprah's advice. There are two parts that struck me--the idea of men being intimidated by powerful women and Oprah's advice to Serena to never let her light dim in order to get and keep a man. First, I absolutely agree with Oprah that men crave respect and feeling needed. The Bible does, too. Ephesians 5:22-24 says:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Men crave respect because they are created in the image of God and one way in which they bear his image is to lead their wives as Christ leads the church. For the record, if you read ahead, it then tells husbands to love their wives. This is because a primary way in which women bear the image of God is to crave love from their husbands the way Jesus loves the church--wholly, completely, sacrificially, for her best. But, back to the men. They want to know that their wife trusts them, desires their wisdom and leadership in decision making, that their wife needs their support as a husband. Ultimately, women are to worship and desire Jesus first as ultimate, and then trust their husband as an act of worshiping Jesus. Men are to worship Jesus first, loving Him as their ultimate, then seeking His leadership  in order to lead their wives, everything always worship.

So, then, Oprah is right that it would be incredibly difficult for the average man to have a very, very successful woman. It would be difficult for him to feel like she needs him when she's been so successful on her own. Does this mean she should either intentionally stop using her talents or fake it to make herself more attractive? Absolutely not. Men and women are equally image bearers of God and He is most glorified when we live for Him, allowing the gifts and talents He as given us to be done to the best of our ability out of worshiping Him. There was a great, great sermon about this recently at church and I highly encourage anyone to listen to it! It's called Redeeming Greatness, taken from Luke 9:46-50, and it's all about how greatness inspires us to be great, and God wants us to be great as long as it's for His glory, to serve others, and for our joy, and not so we can try to glorify ourselves. Great stuff!

So, to wrap up this part, Serena first needs to be in love with Jesus, repenting of sin and living for His glory. If worshiping Him means kicking tail on the tennis court and enjoying her dreams of owning salons and selling beauty products then praise Jesus! Then, if God brings a man into her life, I am certain he will be someone who wants her to be everything that God would have her be. A godly husband never wants his wife to stop being her best so he can feel better; a godly husband wants to see his wife worship Jesus with her gifts and talents and he rejoices in seeing Jesus lift her up. But the key point here is that Serena can't be filled up with herself; she needs to be filled up with Jesus. It needs to be love of Jesus that overflows into others, because that will inspire them to live for His glory and then Jesus fills them as well. No one is going to get anywhere useful by being filled up with Serena, or you, or me.

When we use our gifts for Jesus' glory, it's His light that shines and blesses others and we find the most joy in that. Your light doesn't do anything but provide temporary pleasure to yourself that then *poof* is gone and you're trying to get it back and you're miserable because you don't love others and you're ignoring the soul ache that cries out to live for God's glory. So, my prayer is that Serena, Oprah, and you and I would be living for Jesus' glory, rejoicing in every opportunity to be the best we can at whatever he calls us to do. I pray that in marriages wives would rejoice in respecting their husbands and submitting to them as an act of worshipful submission to Jesus and that husbands would be so in love with Jesus that they love their wives and lead them with Jesus' perfect love, both spouses humbly repenting of sin when they fail.

Good stuff today! This is a pretty controversial topic, so what do you think?

Up Tomorrow
Jenny McCarthy after her big break-up with Jim Carrey; also, author Terry McMillan and her now openly gay ex-husband.

Episode 10 - Live! Viewers React to Waiting for Superman

Today is a reaction to Monday's show; you can read about that show here. The most basic recap if you missed it is to know that Monday's show was about America's failing schools. A large emphasis was placed on the fact that bad teachers get away with doing a horrible job and the suggestion was that the problem is the union rules that protect said "bad apples.

Pretty much everyone is mad--some are mad because of the problem itself. Many mad people, though, are teachers. They think that the message was that we should blame teachers, the end. One woman says that, in her experience, the only angry teachers are the bad ones.

Geoffrey Canada (Founder of Harlem's Children Zone)


Recap
Man, you can't help but want to listen to this guy. He's so charismatic that he's downright effervescent. He's a Harvard graduate who went back to his native Harlem and is revolutionizing education. He basically says that he loves unions, but he hates the problems that have been created. When asked what he'd do if he were in charge, he says that he'd start by asking teachers for one extra hour a day. Imagine, he says, if the fire department came and then your house is still burning down but it's 3 p.m. and they clock out. Soldiers are dying for our country and he's asking teachers for one extra hour.

Oprah makes it clear that the blame is not on teachers. The blame is on bad teachers. She says that the good teachers know there's a crisis and it's time to start fighting one another and time to start fighting to make a difference. Kudos, Oprah. Agreed.


After the break, Geoffrey points out that parents need to stop sending their kids to school and washing their hands of their kids education. He says parents need to step up and teach their kids that it goes beyond just doing their homework--after homework, they need to study. Studying and doing homework are not the same thing. Once again, I agree. It's amazing that college is set up this way but you don't start this habit before college unless you are in a high caliber (usually private) school or AP classes.


Arne Duncan, the U.S. Secretary of Education, comes on. He's the one who says that education is the Civil Rights issue of our generation, and that Waiting for Superman is a Rosa Parks moment. His basic message is that what has happened in our schools is immoral. He says this is a moral issue that requires moral leadership, and Oprah reiterates that this is an American problem. No matter how well your children might be doing, as others are being failed then eventually our country will fail and that will affect you and will affect your children.

Mayor Cory Booker (Mayor of Newark, New Jersey)

Recap
He has almost single-handedly turned Newark from once being labeled the worst city in America. He's passionate about changing Newark's schools. His money quote is: "You cannot have a superior democracy with an inferior education system." His point is that it's time for people to get off their couch, to stop being angry while sitting on their tush, and be a part of making change happen. His goal is to get the teachers, the parents, the unions, everyone, working together to change the schools in his city.

Now it's time for the big announcement; it was leaked a bit ahead of time, but it's still pretty cool. Mayor Cory Booker is a Democrat, Governor Chris Christie is a Republican, and (love him or hate him) Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO and crazy rich founder of Facebook, are working together to see Newark's schools succeed. Governor Christie is empowering and leaning on Mayor Booker to be the point man, though they'll choose a superintendent of public schools for Newark together. Pretty cool to see the politics set aside so that the focus can be where it needs to be--the children. Mayor Booker has a great quote: "If we as a nation keep pulling left and right, we will never move forward."

Amazing anecdote from Governor Christie. He met a mother whose son won the lottery... to get into one of Newark's best charter schools. He asked her how it felt that night, a few years ago, when her son's number was picked. Her reply? "When I was waiting in that gym, I knew whether his number got picked out was the difference between him going to college or going to jail." He says no mother in America should have to sit and go through that and I absolutely agree.

The big news? Mark Zuckerberg has started a foundation that is giving $100 million to the Newark public schools as a challenge grant. He says he chose Newark because he believes in what Governor Christie and Mayor Booker are doing. The nation will now be watching to see what happens in Newark because if this goes well then many will want to try and replicate what they do.

There's a blip about Mark Zuckerberg, showing him in the very modest Palo Alto home he rents with his girlfriend. It's hardly furnished, which is kind of amazing considering he's one of the youngest, richest people in the nation. That's largely because he spends most of his time at work. He does make a comment about the movie coming out that puts him in a bad light (it's called The Social Network, for the record). He says, essentially, that it's a movie and he remembers a lot of coding and hard work over the last six years, not all the drama, but basically rolls it off his shoulder.

After the break, there's a bit more of a touch on what's coming in Newark. The thing that stood out to me was Mayor Booker not only committing to high standards and the reminder that everyone has to be in this together, but I appreciate him saying the goal is not to bash teachers but to elevate them. Bad teachers shouldn't get away with doing a horrible job, but neither should good ones keep shouldering the blame for a problem that isn't theirs to own.

After another break, we get to hear a performance of John Legend with The Roots singing Shine, the song Legend wrote as the theme song for Waiting for Superman. It's moving because it's beautiful, but clips of the documentary are interspersed throughout the performance.

And we're done!

Gospel Filter Review

To be honest, I searched for something to say here, but I realized that I was forcing it and anything I say will be redundant. You can read the Gospel Filter Review I wrote for Monday's episode. I will reiterate that all of life is worship. Ask the Holy Spirit what it would look like for you to support making your local school better. Pray that Jesus would put people in charge who love and serve our nation's children well. Ultimately, though, make sure that guilt doesn't  motivate you. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and worship Him according to His will. And if you know a teacher who works hard and does a great job, thank them.

Coming Up Next on Monday's Show
Tony Danza, Serena Williams, Angie Harmon: Celebrities Take on Their Dream Jobs

Episode 9 - Held Hostage in Iran: Sarah Shourd's First Television Interview & The Craigslist Rape Survivor Reveals Her Identity

American Hiker Sarah Shourd

Recap
On July 31, 2009, three young American friends were on vacation in Iraq and went on a hike; they were near the Iraqi-Iranian border in the mountains and strayed off course. They were surrounded by Iranian soldiers who arrested them for illegally crossing the Iranian border. They were thrown into prison and accused of being spies. Sarah, who has since been set free, had to spend 23 hours a day in solitary confinement. In August, 14 months later, Sarah called home to say she had found a lump in her breast. The Iranians would allow her to come home and get treatment if she could post the $500,000 bail.

How, on Oprah, she describes how things feel unreal. She never expected to come home without her fiancé, Shane, and their friend Josh, and her mission now is to help her friends come home. The judge tells her that because she was in solitary confinement and because she's a woman that is why Iran let her go, that they are proud of their humanitarian treatment of women.

Sarah describes the reason why they were hiking in northern Iraq--apparently, it is a very safe part of Iraq, filled with great food, tourist attractions, and Kurdish culture. While at their hotel, she and her friends asked for a good place to go hiking, and while on a trail pointed out to them by Iraqis, that was when they were surrounded by Iranian soldiers. She says there was no indication of the border--no signs, no fence, nothing. She still has no idea where the border is, or if they did cross it.

After the break, Sarah tells us that there is absolutely no evidence that they were spies. After the two month investigation, Sarah was told that it didn't matter if she was innocent or not, that this was now political and she was caught up in the midst of something much bigger than herself. Can you imagine the horror? You know you're innocent, they know you're innocent, and now you're facing a lifetime of solitary confinement in a cell of "eight steps by about five steps".

One bright time was the hour a day that Sarah, Shane, and Josh were allowed to see one another. She says they would just sit and hold hands for that hour, and nine months ago Shane proposed to her. Sarah says that prison made what's important to her clear--her family, Shane's family, and her relationship with God. Staying alive for her mom and for God is what kept her going.

Ahmadinejad & the Mothers
After the break, we see a clip of CNN's Christiane Amanpour interviewing Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He says that if the eight Iranians being illegally detained by the US government were freed, he could give a recommendation that Shane and Josh be freed. Sarah, who hopes to meet with him when he visits New York soon, wants to reach out to him so that he can know that she holds nothing against him nor the Iranian people; she just wants her fiancé and friend to be set free.

The mothers of all three are there, and we learn that though the prisoners were/are very rarely allowed to have any contact with family. They are not allowed to write letters and have had contact with family only twice. Sarah says something haunting: that she still does not feel free because the primary way she was punished was solitary confinement, and she's still being punished by being continually separated from Shane and Josh. The prisoners are allowed to receive letters, and so the mothers write as much as they are able as well as utilize the website www.freethehikers.org to raise money, support, and awareness. Oprah ends by saying we are praying for the safe release of the boys to come home.

Gospel Filter Review
The thing that stands out to me most from Sarah's interview is her determination to see Shane and Josh set free. The imagery of Sarah, Josh, and Shane in their tiny cells, not even able to use the bathroom without being blindfolded, is heart wrenching. Yet in so many ways it's an accurate picture of sin; enslaved and in bondage with absolutely no chance of freedom save for a miracle. The difference between the three friends and most of us is that they were fully aware of their imprisonment while slavery to sin blinds us. Sarah is experiencing freedom from prison; I pray she knows freedom from sin through Jesus Christ as well (Galatians 5:1). I love that her crusade to see her friends set free, as well, is such a beautiful Biblical concept. We are set free in order to use that freedom not to return to slavery but to serve others and see them set free, too (Galatians 5:13)

Another parallel is the fact that the three hikers were innocent, not having committed the crime for which they are accused, yet they paid the price thanks to political unrest between the United States and Iran. Jesus Christ was innocent, like a lamb led to the slaughter (Isaiah 53:7, Acts 8:32). The difference is that the three friends are sinners, while Jesus was perfectly innocent. I pray that Shane and Josh are set free and allowed to come home and that, ultimately, all three friends and their families would know and worship Jesus Christ and the miracle-making God the Father who sets them free literally and ultimately.

The Craigslist Rape Victim

Recap
In December, a woman named Sarah signed onto Craigslist and saw pictures of herself,some in her bathing suit and taken from her MySpace, in a classified ad. The caption read, "Need an Aggressive Man with No Concern or Regard for Women...if Interested Contact Sarah." Unbeknownst to her, it was her ex-boyfriend, Jebediah Stipe, who posted the ad. The police told her they could do nothing, but that she should contact Craigslist and ask them to remove the ad. They did, but one man had already responded.

Warning: Horrifyingly Graphic Details of Rape in the Following Paragraph
On the morning of December 11th she walked up to her home; a man grabbed her from behind and pushed her into her home. He said, "You wanted an aggressive man, bitch--here I am." He tied her up and blindfolded her, ripped off her clothes, and raped her, both vaginally and anally, despite her begging him to stop. She is only 4' 11" tall and her fighting was in vain; he told her that if she didn't stop fighting against her he would kill her. She stopped screaming when he held a knife from her kitchen against her throat. After an agonizing 30 minutes of rape, he turned her on her side (she was still blindfolded) and she felt a liquid, his ejaculation, run down her breasts and stomach. When he was done, he said, "Now try to get out of that, you dumb bitch."

The man who raped her is a man named Ty McDowell, a married 26-year-old father of two. He worked as a radiology technician at the local hospital. Ty told detectives that he thought he was fulfilling Sarah's "rape fantasy." They play Sarah's 911 call and show pictures of Sarah after the rape and it makes me cry so hard that I have to stop typing. The hospital nurse says that Sarah's injuries were the worst of any assault victim she had ever seen, and the diagram in which she recorded those injuries is so full that she ran out of room to write them all down.

Both men plead guilty to sexual assault and each received a sentence of at least 60 years in prison. I just have to say, praise God that Oprah said 60 (and that I have a TiVo and can rewind) because at first I thought Oprah said 6 and I became so angry that I had to rewind and make sure I heard correctly. Again, praise God that it was 60 and not 6.

Sarah's Interview with Oprah
Upon being asked how she's doing, Sarah tearfully tells Oprah that she has her good days and her bad days. She's realized this is something she can't change and it's not a bad dream and she's trying to move on. Sarah explains that Jebediah was very angry that she had become engaged to her fiancé Ian (a very sweet looking man in the audience), and her theory is that when Jebediah wasn't able to convince her to break up with her fiancé he felt that if she were severely hurt then Ian would leave her and he could be her, "knight in shining armor."

This theory is based on several text messages from Jeb (as she calls him) after the attack pronouncing that he would always be there for her. The attacker, Ty, had informed Jeb that the attack had been carried out which allowed Jeb to send texts that said things like, "How are you doing after all of this has happened?", and, "If you need somebody to talk about this let me know." Other than the attack, there was no this, so it was clear that Jeb knew.

Sarah says that since Craigslist removed the ad the next day, she wasn't aware that anyone had already responded (my understanding is that people responded to Jeb, not her, which makes sense of why she was so surprised and why Ty was able to tell Jeb the deed had been done), so she felt safe. Even more scary is that when she was still in the ER, Ian had gone back to get her glasses and a second man was standing in her living room with a camera set. He said he was there because he had received an e-mail from a J. Stipe telling him where Sarah could be found; presumably Jebediah was ok with allowing Sarah to be raped again.

We cut to break, but I have to say here that I am so disgusted and angry and... just ugh... that I want to throw up. How anyone could ever say humans are inherently good is honestly a farce to me in the face of such abject evil and horror. This is backed up by Oprah telling us after the break that 161--ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-ONE--people responded to the Craigslist ad.

After the break, Sarah shows us where Ty raped her. She had to get new carpet because the bloodstains wouldn't come out. I missed this earlier, but she shows us how her knife block is a constant reminder of what happened because he used a knife sharpener (similar to this) to penetrate her with, as well as the knife he held against her throat. Neither are there any longer but their absence reminds her why they've been removed. She says that she no longer sees her home, but a crime scene.

This is when Oprah tells us that 161 people had responded, and Sarah tells us that she found out Jeb had set up several dates with people to attack her. Oprah asks her about the fact that several people in her town had actually sided with the attacker, despite him admitting he did it. The fact that he thought he was fulfilling her rape fantasy has caused many people to feel sorry for him, including her co-workers, because he didn't know that what he was doing was wrong. Many people don't even believe this really happened to her.

After another break, Oprah asks why, after nearly a year, Sarah has come forward. She says that she not only wants the power back, but also that the media has never released all of the details and she wants it in the open. Additionally, she wants people to recognize how easily this can happen to them--the pictures in the ad were taken from her MySpace account and used without her permission and it could happen to anyone. Finally, she wants to be a voice for women, so that they know that they can have the power and strength to overcome something like this. Oprah reiterates what she said she told Sarah during the break, that this is a horrible thing that happened to her but it isn't who she is. Sarah agrees, saying that she will never forget this, but that because this happened she can be a better person and it doesn't define the person that she is.

Last week, praise God, Craigslist permanently removed their "adult services" section from their US website. Oprah reiterates the FBI's recommendation that you don't post any pictures of personal information online, and reminds viewers that once you post a picture online you no longer have any control over what is done with the image. I'll touch on this in the review below.

Gospel Filter Review
My heart is just wrecked for Sarah. I know that God hates what happened to her. He detests sexual immorality and He abhors the strong taking advantage of the weak. In Sarah's situation she simply had no chance against her much larger, much stronger attacker. As a survivor of incest, I am certain that God knew exactly what was happening in that room, that His presence was with her, and though we cannot understand why He did not stop it, He is no less good and no less loving of her as His precious creation.

I praise God that not only will He one day wipe every single tear from Sarah's eyes if she knows salvation through Jesus (Revelation 7:17, Revelation 21:4), but that He is just and there will be justice far beyond 60 years in prison for Jebediah and Ty. If they receive salvation and forgiveness through Christ then their punishment was raged against Jesus on the cross; if not, then they will suffer eternal punishment for their sin in hell. I pray that Sarah will know this truth and be able to forgive because she knows the sweet freedom of her own forgiveness through Jesus for her sins. I do pray that those two men, also image-bearers of God, would know forgiveness. I also pray for Ty's wife and children; what a horrible tragedy for them, as well. I cannot imagine the horror of finding out your husband and the father of your two young children, a guy who spends his days helping people at the hospital, perpetrated this horribly despicable evil. I pray they know that God is a husband to the widow and a father to the fatherless.

Finally, I urge you women (and any men who have women they love in their lives): please, please, please, do not post pictures of yourself in a bikini or your bathing suit online. It probably has never occurred to you that this could be dangerous, and maybe you think, "Well, but I don't have any crazy ex-boyfriend so I'm fine." But all it takes is one person with a vengeance, even a stranger, to use your pictures against you. Be careful about any pictures you post. In no way is it Sarah's fault for having pictures in her bathing suit on her MySpace; please do not infer that because it's absolutely not her fault. I'm only heeding that we take caution and err toward being overly careful.

I do post pictures on Facebook, but I am very careful to make them accessible only to people who I know in real life who are actual friends, and my account is private in every other way. I even frequently clean out my friends list of anyone that is too far removed from recent contact. It's not just pictures of you--there have been accounts of people finding ads with pictures of their children from their Facebook account, saying they are up for adoption and the like. Horrifying stuff. Be so, so careful.

EDIT

I forgot to mention this, but Ty was not acting out Sarah's rape fantasy. Even if Jeb told him that Sarah wanted to be raped and was having Jeb set it up, and that's why he (Ty) was contacting Jeb and not Sarah herself, Ty knew it was wrong and was absolutely not "innocently" acting out Sarah's rape fantasy. Ty was acting out his own rape fantasy. I'm almost certain that if we dug, we'd find out that Ty watched pornographic videos of rape that fueled his fantasy. It's just sick and wrong and horrifying, and anyone who thinks that Ty should get pity and a lesser sentence because he thought a woman wanted to be raped and threatened with murder and have a long metal rod shoved up her vagina and anus repeatedly is absolutely in the wrong. He knew what he did was wrong. If you listen to the 911 tape the whimpering-type sounds that are in Sarah makes are almost not human, they're so terrifying. There's no way that Ty could think she wanted him to do what he did. I pray that anyone who thinks differently will repent and seek Sarah's forgiveness, especially if they know her personally. 

9/11 Survivor Lauren Manning


Recap
The last blurb of Oprah includes a short recap of a woman, Lauren Manning, a wife and mother who had barely survived the 9/11 terrorist attack with burns on over 80% of her body. Oprah had her on the show in 2002, 9 months after the attack. Lauren shared then, in tears, that she wanted more children and was heartbroken to have that taken away. Through a surrogate, after many tries, she and her husband were able to have another son. She looks beautiful and it takes close inspection to realize that she has scars on her face from her burns. I just praise God that He saved this woman and that she is alive and thriving. I pray that she and her family know that this grace is from Jesus and that they get to experience receiving it from Him, living for His glory.

Up Tomorrow
A live show! Reaction to Monday's Waiting for Superman, John Legend performs, and the promised big announcement that Oprah says will change America's schools.

Episode 8: The Bravest Mom in the World Set Free: Ingrid Betancourt

This is just horrifying. This mom was kidnapped at gunpoint and held captive for six years in the jungles of South America. I have a feeling this will be a heavy, heavy one. Here we go.

Ingrid Betancourt

Oprah has a copy of Ingrid's book, Even Silence has an End, and says it reads like fiction, because the material is so incredible. Ingrid was a Senator running for President of her native Colombia. The FARC is a terrorist group known for their kidnappings and use of violence to create political intimidation through fear. On a routine campaign stop, Ingrid's car was stopped and she and her campaign manager, Clara Rojas, were kidnapped at gunpoint.

For the first year and a half, she was held in a tiny cell with Rojas. They slept mostly on plastic sheets on the ground. Ingrid repeatedly tried to escape, despite not knowing where she would go. Oprah likens this to slaves in American history who craved freedom so deeply that they also would try to escape despite having no where they would go.

After the break, we're shown how dangerous the jungle is. Snakes, jaguars, leeches, crocodiles, piranhas, hundreds of types of tarantulas--ugh. Makes me never, ever want to go there. Ingrid was forced to live in the wild that way for six and a half years. She describes how her skin was every day a living hell due to pain from the barrage of insects. She also says that, after every attempted escape, her living conditions would become worse and death became a better option than life if she could not escape. Additionally, she felt that staying alive was worse for her children because her death would allow them to move on but her living kept their lives in limbo, waiting. The FARC would tape and release videos proving she was alive.

Faith and Family
Oprah asks Ingrid if, facing the possibility of imminent captivity, if her faith was strengthened. Ingrid says she discovered the Bible, that before she thought it was a very boring book. Oprah quips, "Yeah, until you meet Jesus and then it's not so boring anymore. Then you go, 'I like this book.'" Ingrid said that at first she had a very strong reaction against God, one of, "Why me and why my father?" Her father died one month exactly after she was abducted; she loved him very deeply and was not able to say good-bye. As we go to break Ingrid is in heavy tears, still mourning the loss of her father.

After break, we see the story of her mother and children, Melanie and Lorenzo, who were 16 and 13, respectively, at the time of her kidnapping. They were relocated to France and continued to fight for her release, and she was able to hear messages from them over a Colombian radio show. Ingrid says that memories of her children's kisses were her lifeline. Her daughter Melanie describes the inability to move on, because not knowing if her mother was dead or alive meant she had to hold out hope. Ingrid's mother says that the only thing she could do was go to the Colombian radio show every day and tell her daughter that she loved her.

We are so blessed in America; could you imagine living in a place where political turmoil is such that there is a major radio station broadcast every day to the nation where family members of those kidnapped can try to get messages out to them? How horribly sad.

Criticism from Fellow Hostages
After the break, we get to hear from some of Ingrid's fellow hostages. After her release, Ingrid was celebrated as a hero and even honored by French President Nicolas Sarkozy. However, a man named Keith Stansell says that Ingrid was arrogant and horrible, taking more than her fair share of food and being generally selfish because she felt that, "She was her and she deserved it." Her fellow captive and former campaign manger Clara Rojas wrote in her memoir that Ingrid went, "...from being a role model... to someone who represented death, becoming extremely apathetic and bitter." In Vanity Fair, another fellow hostage, Gloria Polanco, said, "Let's not make symbols and icons out of women who aren't."

Oprah tells Ingrid that she knew, while reading Even Silent, others wouldn't like the book. Oprah learned that everyone else would be punished every time Ingrid tried to get away. Additionally, when the captors took everyone's radios, Ingrid hid hers, knowing that the other hostages might get in trouble for her act of rebellion. She acknowledges that they didn't like her then or now, and says she understands why: she wasn't perfect. Upon being asked if she was arrogant and selfish, Ingrid says she feels that she was afraid of her fellow hostages. Oprah asks if this was projected as arrogance and selfishness, and she says yes, it probably was. She also doesn't hold anything against them, and loves them, despite the ways they feel about her.

Ingrid said that, after a long time of being treated like animals by the guerrillas, she began to see herself act like an animal. She didn't want to lose her humanity. She recounts once in the dark, 4 am, being told to count off. When it came to her, she said her name. Her reason was that she wasn't merely a number, she's a human. But to the others, it could seem that she was saying she was an important big deal. Additionally, whenever they heard things on the radio about the hostages, her name always came up. She basically says this wasn't up to her and she was just glad to hear that their situation was still being talked about. She also ends by saying that she does feel she fell in love with a fellow hostage named Mark.

The Escape
Operation Checkmate came when Colombian military members hacked into the FARC communication system and commanded that the hostages be moved. They were loaded onto a helicopter, not knowing they were being rescued, but once in the air they were informed by the special forces that they were now rescued and free. Ingrid says the people were jumping and celebrating so much that she thought they were going to cause the helicopter to crash. Ingrid describes being so frightened because there was no preparation for it, just suddenly their dreams had come true.

Ingrid describes getting to see her children again, how she had sustained herself for those many years simply trying to imagine her children as they might look grown up. When she describes the moment she got to see her children again she breaks into tears, unable to speak, and we go to break.

Ingrid's Life Today
In a video clip, Ingrid talks about how, more than two years later she still wakes up amazed that she's in a bed with a roof over her head. She loves being able to buy fruit and vegetables after six and a half years, and simple freedoms like going for a walk is of immeasurable greatness to her. Since she spent most of her time chained to a tree, I can't imagine the simple joy of walking out in the open air wherever you please.

She shows us around her local church. It has a picture of a saint she prayed to named Guadalupe. She also talks about how she loved reading the Bible, and how precious the passage in Romans where Paul talks about Jesus being sufficient in the midst of suffering. She loves how Paul said that, "the more fragile he was, the more stronger [sic] he was," because that was exactly how she felt.

Back in the studio, Ingrid tells Oprah that her greatest lesson learned has been that in the midst of feeling like she was less than an animal that she realized she had the freedom to choose what kind of person she wanted to be. She says that no matter how busy we are, we don't have to put it off--we can choose to start today, to become that person that we want to be.

After plugging Ingrid's "incredible" book (and O Magazine's October issue, where Ingrid and her story are featured) Oprah thanks Ingrid for her time and we're done.

Gospel Filter Review
Today I want to hit on three short things.

First, I have hit on this before, but God doesn't cause evil. We don't know why, in His sovereignty, He doesn't choose to stop it all of the time (though I'm certain He does stop many things we never see), but He never causes it. I wrote about this in a previous post, so you can read about it there. Go to this link, then hit ctrl+F and type in evil. Skip to the second instance (the first is part of the word "revilers"). There is a short paragraph and a link to a clip about why we know God is only good and doesn't cause evil. He did not cause this to happen to Ingrid and we can praise Him for keeping her alive, sane, and setting her free.

Secondly, I don't question the validity of Ingrid's faith. Only God knows her heart. But the Bible does make very clear that we don't need to pray to saints or anyone else. It's worthless. There is one mediator between God and [wo]man--the Lord Jesus Christ (I Timothy 2:5). So any prayer to God through Jesus God hears, but praying to a saint means that prayer isn't heard. I pray that Ingrid learns this truth and only prays to God through the only one who can be her intercessor, Jesus.

Finally, we don't choose to be good people. We cannot on our own. If asked, Ingrid might explain that her choice to not be an animal or horrible person came through strength in Christ. I'm not saying that she doesn't believe that. But based on the statement that she chose to be a good person, I must go to the Bible which says that left to ourselves, every intent of our heart is toward evil and away from God (Genesis 6:5, Jeremiah 17:9). We can't do anything with pure motives that will glorify God unless we do it through the strength of Christ; in our weakness and recognition that He alone is strong is Christ most glorified (II Corinthians 12:9-10). This is true for us now and always, and I pray that Ingrid is living out this truth and that she is not glorified for her strength but that Jesus' grace and strength made to her in her weakness gives Him the glory.

Short review today! But hopefully on point :)

Up Tomorrow
American Hiker Sarah Shourd (held captive in Iran and now in her first television interview) and the Craigslist Rape Victim.